Re: this bloody Facebook group?

[Rozdeek]

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets . Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

Can't in what way? As in they are allergic to it or something?

Can't as in Can't

kɑːnt/
contraction
modal verb: can't

cannot.

How hard is is to understand SOME women cannot breast feed?

What are they supposed to do?

But I don't understand WHY they can't....that's relative and guides my answer.

Babies whose mothers couldn't breastfeed used to die.

Formula is a good thing. And I am as pro bf as they come.

I don't understand WHY they can't

You are problably not the best person to preach about anything, if you can't understand simple things like this.

There have been numerous egs on this thread as to why women can't breastfeed brickie.

Why can't they?

Chemo
Mastectomy
Severely ill mother
Severely ill baby
Failure to thrive baby
Mother dead
Mothers on medication not suitable for babies that they cannot be stopped
Baby can't remain latched
Tongue tied baby not sorted

There's a few instances

NN, donor human milk is better for babies. The WHO has a list of feeding prefereces for infants. Formula is number 5.

Formula is number 5.

SO?

Nope. No chance would I feed donor milk. No way.

I love my babies too much to risk contaminating them with some other woman's milk.

I would remind you all that I said I dont support it as a choice None of the reasons you've listed make it a choice.

Now, how hard is that to understand

On a list i made up of people i'd like to do brick laying, Babies are unmber 250.

None of the reasons you've listed make it a choice.

you've just stated there are at least 5 ways to feed a baby above... formular is just one of those choice.

NN but a cow's breastmilk that has demonstratable harm is ok then? Okaaaay.......

Shuffles off muttering back to a land populated by more rational people...

Now, how hard is that to understand

Becuase it's a choice.

What other choices are there?

Breast feeding, donor milk and formula.

NN but a cow's breastmilk that has demonstratable harm is ok then?

Who has suggested cows milk?

demonstratable harm

Care to share your evidence for this?

I'm a trained breastfeeding peer support counsellor with a large Breastfeeding charity and would be struck off if I said anything like this.

Care to share your evidence for this?

A random propaganda post on facebook most probably.

Right brickie I couldn't breast feed because

• I was injected with barium when DC was 2days old. DC was given formula because my milk was dangerous.

• I was on IV and oral antibiotics for 10days after this and DC was given formula because my milk was dangerous.

• I have flat nipples and DC, after weeks of trying, just wouldn't latch on. I tried Everything and even the BF support lady told me to give up. She was realistic and amazing. And let me tell you just how fucking exhausting it was to express and then to feed on demand.

I gave up because there was no way DC would take it direct. There was no way I could carry on.

Coupled with all of this I needed to go onto a medication for. Chronic condition.

Best thing I ever did was stop breastfeeding. I got my body, my sleep and big chunks of my life back and could actually enjoy my baby.

Brickie is just proving my point tbh b

Jason with a swirly font no less

We have a safe, nutritious alternative for those who cannot or don't want to bf. That's an amazing thing. It must have saved countless lives.
There are definitely cases to be made about promotion of formula over breast in countries with unsafe water supplies. But talking about here in the west - formula is absolutely fine.
There are a myriad of reasons some women can't bf, and some women just don't want to. Also fine. We need to stop making women feel guilty over feeding choices.
I bf my son and it was a real struggle at first. His latch was checked and declared fine but for some reason it hurt like crazy. Luckily it fixed itself but if it hadn't I'd have gone over to formula - and he'd have been fine, because he's loved, cared for and safe.

Kids don't remember whether they were bottled or boobed. They remember if they were secure, safe and loved.

As for donor milk? No fucking way would I give untested milk of unknown origin to my child. From a mother, someone I do not know, do not know their lifestyle, if they are a smoker etc etc

Formula I knew what I was getting, where it was produced, who produced it, even what time of day the formula was packaged and it had an easy way of tracing it back if there ever was a (frankly rare) Recall.