Re: this bloody Facebook group?

[Rozdeek]

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets . Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

.

ODFOD..

Seriously. We are having a nice discussion and agreeing that whilst breast milk is best, formula is a perfect back up.

You are like a record player who won't stop running

When you get your head out of your arse and willing to accept that formula is not poison, we will welcome you back

I've not once said it's poison. It's not the perfect back up though. Human milk is.
Thankfully you don't get to decide who is welcome and who is not

But it IS the perfect back up.

What are you supposed to do if you can't breast feed? I would rather formula that someone else's milk.

I know it's safer. Under strict conditions to produce and very slim chance of something to be passed through to my baby.

Why is it that some women who breastfed are so keen to belittle the choices of other women.

As far as I am aware none of the women I know who breastfed are like this, although of course their online persona could be different.

I'm fairly confident none of them would use a meme written in Comic Sans to validate their argument though

My group has been one of the ones mentioned in passing but we're happily drama free thanks.

Haha what a load of bollocks.

There was endless drama on the thread on that fb group about this one last night. People inferring I had posted stuff mocking pictures of their babies. I did no such thing. These were the two things I was "mocking":

1. That women desperate for sleep were routinely told to suck it up, it's normal. Yes it might be but if your 18 mo is waking every half hour for boob then you CAN do something about it if it is a problem for you.

2. the fact there were people on there mistrustful of a tried and tested medication used safely on babies for decades who were also perfectly happy to let their baby wear an item of jewellery that is not only a choking hazard but also not tested and proven safe for babies.

Both reasonable IMO

I personally think it's disgraceful that a group can basically say we don't judge but by the way if you formula feed fuck off.

What if formula feeders want to practice AP?

yet another example of why surrounding yourself with propoganda is bad, it creates extremism.

What if formula feeders want to practice AP?

They will probably say it isn't possible...though ds was in a sling, I fed on demand and occasionally co-slept out of desperation.

And Alis they probably use some gothic scroll of writing

*Rozdeek

My group has been one of the ones mentioned in passing but we're happily drama free thanks.

Haha what a load of bollocks. ,*

You've got the wrong group I'm afraid. Mine was one of the others discussed. Drama free.

I EBF, like you need I sometimes co sleep out of desperation, I use a sling when easier.

I have been known to let DS cry for a few minutes when I've really been at the end of my rope and needed a moment to calm down.

If I'd admitted that there it would have been called abuse.

What other group was named? Sorry brickie

I'm going to pm you Rozdeek on how ds used to sleep for about 4-5 months. Don't fancy having it copied to the page and ripped to shreds

It wasn't named but discussed, as were posts from it.

But brickie you're NOT supporting. You're saying breast is the ONLY way and giving us very informative info to confirm this. How about showing a bit of support for those mothers who have a story to tell too.

I'd prefer to have both sides to any argument before making a decision but the fanatical pro BF who refuse to even acknowledge that there may be medical/mental health/personal reasons for not BF would have made me jump to FF immediately.

I went to a fantastic BF group who encouraged and supported every mum who came through the doors. Had bottle warmers for those mums who couldn't BF (I say couldn't because you wouldn't go to a BF club if you simply didn't want to) and were completely non judgemental.

And as for people who feel the need to approach you in public to berate your choice of feeding plan......well they just make me . You don't find people stopping you in the street to tell you that the footwear you have on will cause bunyons or damage your knees, why the hell is it ok to voice your opinion personally on children's needs???

Have your opinion, discuss it with your friends and family but don't feel the need to PUSH your views on (possibly) vulnerable people.

I've done none of those things. I addressed ONE comment in this thread where someone said they'd investigated it and formula was pretty much the same as breastmilk.

Now I'm approaching people in the street?? and belittling people's choices?

I actually support LOTS of combi feeding mums with their breastfeeding.
The judgement is flowing only towards me.

I never once said YOU were approaching people in the street. I said you were not being fully supportive of other methods of feeding your child.
You said yourself you didn't care about the 20% who CHOSE not to BF only the 79% who gave up by 6 months. And that they needed support from you as a peer supporter.
I believe that's the gist since I haven't went back to look at it fully.

Every post you've put on is pro breast milk and that's fine, I agree, but I'm also open enough to accept that when breast milk isn't enough, when you've tried but it just isn't working, when you're on your knees with exhaustion (see op for a bit clarity) that maybe.....just maybe if you have to FF the world won't stop spinning and that child will end up a sickly delinquent. Again see other proBF posters for clarity.

Maybe your site isn't the one mentioned but you're still accepting of the general ethos.

I have to at how much time these women actually spend with their children, what with spending seemingly every waking second being keyboard warriors.

Actually formula is the best and only substitute for breast milk. It is strictly controlled and tested to make sure it is up to standard.

It is comparable to breast milk because it contains all the essential vitamins, minerals, carbs, proteins etc a baby needs to grow and thrive it is there for mothers who choose or cannot breastfeed and not a single person should be judged and Ffs given my breastfeeding issues I shared earlier in the thread I m not a minority.

Post birth medications, complications are very real and common. DRs try very hard to prescribe medications that will have minimal effect on breast fed newborns but some women do not want to take the risk. And they have every right to make that decision.

Also you forget mothers with HIV will not breast feed.

Mother who have had breast surgery for cosmetic reasons may not be able to.

Women who have had cancer may not be able too depending on the surgery they needed.

Women receiving specific treatments and medications that are harmful will not breastfeed. I know a lady on Twitter with epilepsy. Her baby had a mild reaction caused by her meds. She stopped breastfeeding because it was more dangerous to stop her own medications.

I know of women who arent breastfeeding because of alcohol and drug issues.

My best mate stopped breast feeding because she just could not keep her blood sugars stable and feared going into a hypo.

So that 2% or what ever it is probably much much higher when you take into account babies who just cannot latch on. Who are just too ill to feed and mothers that just cannot express enough. And all the medical conditions women may be dealing with every single day.

Oh, you are correct in your assumption then. I'm not supportive of formula feeding as a choice. I'm quite secure in that pov

I'm not supportive of formula feeding as a choice.
why?

Because human babies should be fed human milk rather than that of another species

Because human babies should be fed human milk rather than that of another species

And if they can't?

I'm not sure a Tin is a species.

Can't in what way? As in they are allergic to it or something?