Re: this bloody Facebook group?

[Rozdeek]

Am on this fb group whose philosophy is "attachment" parenting based. I do a lot of attachment parenting things myself but just cos I like them - I hate parenting labels.

Anyway today this poor woman has posted asking for advice on how to stop co sleeping as she is knackered and wants her evening back as baby won't sleep without her there and wakes up when she goes. Baby is 15 months. I think this is fair enough. No. Instead of helpful advice, or sympathy, she just gets loads of stuff along the lines of "why would you want to stop co sleeping?" and people insinuating she is selfish for wanting time to herself.

Someone else posts asking for advice on "natural" teething remedies as she doesn't like using calpol. Cue loads of people saying to try Amber teething bracelets . Yes. Let's put a choking hazard on my baby. That's much better than a small dose of paracetamol.

I do follow a lot of attachment parenting methods but I cannot buy into the above load of crap. I also hate that "co sleep/wear a sling" appear to be solutions to all problems. My baby hates both of these.

AIBU?

I have de joined said fb group before anyone jumps on that one.

Wtf...

^^ Wtf homemade formula.

Not wtf quack. :o

spirit so what are those of us who couldn't breastfeed supposed to do? Believe you me, when I was pregnant with DD I was desperate to BF. But it.wasn't to be. She was born at home, not by choice very quick delivery (an hour from waters breaking to her arriving) so we had very little support from the get go. The midwife who visited couldn't wait to leave and even though I had problems trying to get DD to latch and stay latched she just left cue two weeks of various people offering various advice and we were still in the same situation. I was exhausted and crying most of the time. OH did the know how to help. DD was loosing weight at a dramatic rate and they were threatening to admit us to hospital! What was I supposed to do? Keep pushing with the BF and cause her more damage by her not getting the nutrition that she needed? It just makes me so cross that people are so judgy, just get on with your own lives and leave people to get on with there's. How I feed my child is non of your business and I would thank you to keep your opinions to yourself. I beet myself up for months because in my eyes I had failed her. One day I just decided that fed was best and that as long as she was happy, fed and healthy what did it matter how we achieved that? For some people your remarks could cause some serious distress. Maybe you should think before you post (Rant over)

Oh, double post.

Sorry.

The homemade formula was brought up on an Eco page. Usually fine but OMG suggest a mum use formula to supplement and the militant vegans come out harping on about cow breast milk is for baby cows and the need a vegan formula. then someone else claims baby formula is a conspiracy to make children dumb and the vegan stuff messes with hormones then they share the recipes for the DIY stuff. It's just so bizarre and very cult like. But fascinating to watch. I might create a bingo card for it

(Ps I have nothing against regular vegans. Just the militant ones who jump on ever damn post to push their agenda)

What trumpy said.

"Yes!! I can't wait to start messing up this kids life by giving it sub-standard food!"

Actually, I couldn't wait so I high fived everyone and made a detailed plan 'how to screw up a child' then pinned it on my parenting Pinterest board along with all those crunchier than crunchy nut cornflakes pins. Most of it involved overbearing and extreme views then isolation by only letting them socialise with other unvaccinated children 'to build natural immunity'. I scrapped that and decided formula and several rounds of crispy (not crunchy) chicken nuggets would do it faster

Why crunchy?

Dare I ask?

The homemade formula is . It appears to include unpasteurised milk. I'm sure there's a reason to pasteurise milk and even more of a reason if you're feeding a baby.

I'm sure there's a reason to pasteurise milk and even more of a reason if you're feeding a baby.

Yes, E Coli and Salmonella for starters.

Are there any good facebook groups? If so1 please share

Those people who 'feel sorry' for formula fed babies make me really sad.

We fostered our youngest from birth, so naturally I couldn't bf him. I was actually approached while feeding him a bottle, at 3 months, by a man who told me his wife would never have considered bottle feeding her babies because she would've been letting them down.

Our youngest became a fully permanent member of the family at 2, and is now 16. He is funny, clever, sporty, hardworking, respectful (he offered a lady his seat on a crowded bus in Italy yesterday; picks up litter and puts it in the bin, even when it isn't his), he eats everything I cook and always thanks me for doing so... in fact he is a delight in every way.

I would've loved to have bf him, but I really don't think he has been damaged by the fact that I didn't.

He was fed organic formula though.

Shockers your youngest sounds amazing; you must be very proud. I can't believe that man

I didn't bf my youngest because I spent the first two weeks of his life in ICU on life support. Then I had to pump and dump due to the amount of drugs in my system. I then tried for three desperate days to bf him, due mostly to societal pressure I think, but I was understandably exhausted, a bit traumatised, and he had been happily thriving away on formula. We have a brilliant bond (he's 2.5 now).

People should never judge strangers, they have no idea what path they have gone down.

I have never heard of any of these groups. But I didn't join Facebook until my youngest was about 6 months old. I think as much as you have to respect how other people want to bring up their children, I'd have to bite my tongue on some issues. What is all this co sleeping thing? Is this newborns? I was warned over and over by my health visitor to never let mine sleep in bed with us, my middle son was 3 weeks early she and was constantly warning me not to fall asleep while feeding him at night. she was always giving me statistics on how many cot deaths there were where babies had been rolled on. Perhaps I should point out the website to my health visitor. 😀

One of the midwives in hospital encouraged me to co-sleep and it was the only thing that would settle ds

notmuch that's standard NHS advice but actually co sleeping can be done perfectly safely if certain conditions are met.

I don't do it myself as I don't like it.

These groups are always full of swivel eye idiots who quite clearly spend a lot of their day to day life trying very hard to keep their more jusgemetnel thoughts under the surface.

That post from spirit made me so angry. I breastfed DS2 until he was 2, but unfortunately the chemo I was going through from when DD was 8 weeks old poisoned my milk and would have made her very ill. And then, after my bilateral mastectomy when she was 7 months, breastfeeding would have been a little difficult. Fuckwits.

Grown Man Who Was Formula Fed Wants To Know Why
www.momnewsdaily.com/grown-man-who-was-formula-fed-wants-to-know-why/

(Just to make clear: it's a joke article )

Re formula feeding, I do believe there's something like 3% of women who physically can't, and the posters on this thread have demonstrated reasons for that.

I like to think of myself as quite lactivisty - as in I support the politcal side of women and their right to breastfeed in public etc - however I'm a feminist first and foremost and with that comes the supporting of women being able to do what the fuck they want with their body. And if they don't want To breastfeed - even if medically they can - any choice is a valid one. I find it depressing when women think other women should put their body through something they don't want to do. For the 'good of others'. Fuck it's how we were controlled for long enough, let's not be twats and continue that!

The 3% figure (I've seen people quote 1%, so no one fucking knows what the true figure is - it's irrelevant anyway) is always used as a stick to beat women with though.

Only x% physically can't breastfeed so that can't possibly include you
Only x% physically can't breastfeed so you didn't try hard enough

It also perpetuates the hateful idea that being 100% incapable of producing milk is the only acceptable reason to not breastfeed. Low supply? Should have tried harder. Flat nipples? Should have tried harder. Didn't want to try (this was me with DC2)? Disgrace to all females

Oh god, I'm on some of these too, they are unbelievable. I've had some decent advice from the UK BAPS and CIBII groups but you are right, you have to wade through so much judgmental bullshit. The formula hate is atrocious - there are many women who struggle with breastfeeding and formula is a lifesaver for both them and their kids.

When did mums start putting themselves against each other like this?

The only group on Facebook I go on frequently now and actually comment on instead of lurking and reading through my fingers is The Motherload - they are a lovely non judgmental lot - in fact anything like that gets zapped pretty quickly. Funny too.

I'm going to come off CIBII - some of the comments from its members on here are disgraceful.

Jinkx - yes! God forbid a woman might actually BE part of the 3% (or whatever the made up number is)!

Btw, the golden boobies makes my teeth fucking itch. Do they not realise how ridiculous they sound?

I think YABU to stay on groups that you don't agree with just to bitch about them elsewhere. Don't like the group then just leave and find one that does suit you. Such drama llamas on this thread.
And to claim that formula milk is even vaguely comparible to breastmilk is ludicrous. Now THAT is a dangerous post.

YABU. It's an AP group. That is their purpose. You wouldn't join a vegan parenting group and expect advice on how to cook chicken for your baby, would you?