Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm always the one taking the photos at parties/outings, but...

161 replies

user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 02:43

SOME of my friends always mock me for always taking photos as they don't take any at all, some of them even make me feel bad/embarrassed at the time by pointing it out & making comments...

BUT THEN later some of the same people ask me if i'll send the photos to them, and they're all thrilled to see them next day, talk about them all and have a laugh over them on WhatsApp groups, use them for profile photos/Instagram posts etc.
And then 2/5/10 years later they become treasured memories for everyone, are used for various talking points, presents/cards, photo cakes and general reminiscing.

And if I didn't take them then we'd have no photos at all of so many milestones and special occasions. But it's alright, I just brush it off and do my own thing. I should add i'm a photographer so I do enjoy taking photos even when just on my phone and have an eye for things maybe others don't care about.

However..
The other night we went on a goodbye meal for a friend who is emigrating half way round the world AND it was the first time in 5 years every single one of us had been together under same roof and not likely to happen again for who knows how many years - an occasion on which even people who don't normally take photos would deem photo worthy for a few memories, or at least one group photo.

One friend who strangely is usually the one up for photos and even suggested taking a few photos with me herself that night, kept making jibes about me. We had just two group photos done, one sitting down on the table before eating and later one when we had the surprise cake brought out.
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor, the cake being brought out etc normal stuff which either doesn't involve anyone else, no one even notices i'm taking them, no one is posing for them or is pretty normal stuff to photograph.

However she kept saying in a stunned manner, "I've never taken so many photos like this before in a restaurant.." - TWO group photos? Which people can choose to be part of voluntarily?

Then when another friend was suggesting we should go to a nature trail walk soon she said to her "Don't take Rose, she'll just take loads of photos". I usually just let these digs slide, but this time I wasn't playing, I hadn't done anything to warrant such mean comments and without missing a beat I cheerily said "It's alright i'll go with my family" to which she made a really bitchy sound mocking and mimicking what I had just said as she didn't like that I actually replied making her comment look like the pathetic jibe it was :|

Sigh, I just feel really crappy about this now, but also glad that I said something.

OP posts:
Stormtreader · 04/08/2016 15:25

Unfortunately OP, you don't get to decide whether or not people find your behaviour annoying. That just isn't how it works.

It might be fine with all your other friends, and you might have decided that this group all spend too much time on their phones, but none of that changes the fact that every time you see these people, they tell you you take too many photos and they dont like it. Take the hint!

Kalispera · 04/08/2016 15:40

Yes, but judging by your post you had your phone out at least ten times in one night. That would piss me off, to be honest.

RainyDayBear · 04/08/2016 15:43

Excessive photo taking is irksome. One of MILs friends is like this, twice I have had to stop her waving a camera in my child's face when she was crying and I was calming her down. Not really a photo opportunity!

Original poster
user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 16:09

Kalispera

Everyone I know, including this group, has their phone out continuously all the time, and like I said the rest of them were texting and emailing in front of the rest of us.
I know it might be hard to believe but I was the one often left waiting for some of them to finish doing something on their phone (inc. the actual complainer), whilst if you look at what I did at no point was anyone waiting for me.

I accept all the valid points made by people but I do have to correct things that are not telling the true story.

OP posts:
DinosaursRoar · 04/08/2016 16:23

But OP - your friends are being annoyed by your photo habit. Don't ask if you can take a group photo again, it's clear your friends don't enjoy this if comments are being made and although you aren't the only one with access to a camera phone, no one else is suggesting this.

Try keeping your phone in your bag next night out with them, don't suggest a group photo, don't suggest taking photos together with other people, don't take photos of your food or fiddle about with your phone at the table, leave it in your bag.

See if anyone else suggests a group photo once you don't, see if anyone else starts taking photos when it's clear you aren't. See if you have better conversations if you aren't looking around at what will make a good photo, but instead focussed on your friends. (I understand for you, this might feel odd and hard to do, but try it!)

Then afterwards, see if anyone seems upset that there's no photos of the night, or don't mind at all.

If you really hate the night out when you can't document it, then perhaps it's the company being dull that's the problem.

Kalispera · 04/08/2016 16:37

Well, ok then, just ignore the one bitchy comment and ALL of the advice here and keep on doing what you're doing. Confused

Savagebeauty · 04/08/2016 16:38

God is this still going.Confused

dontmakemedothis · 04/08/2016 16:48

Everyone I know, including this group, has their phone out continuously all the time

That sounds awful. Maybe you should institute one of those phones face down rules when you go out with friends. Every time you look at your phone, you have to buy a round for the whole group.

I'm really anti-phones during socialising. One or two photos is fine, but I came to enjoy time with my friends, not stare at a screen or pull 5 thousand poses. Luckily all my friends seem to be on the same page for the most part.

crje · 04/08/2016 17:01

Having read this far my best guess is that this 'friend' wants to send you a message.
Maybe she isn't particularly photogenic or you have posted bad photos of her.
There is talk in the group about it being annoying & she is letting you know.

Would you ask her straight out?
What with the digs about the photos!

HerOtherHalf · 04/08/2016 17:17

I took a selfie of myself in the back of the car - I was alone in the back

I took one of the decor while waiting for a table

I took a selfie

I took a selfie with another girl

I took one of my starter

We had a group photo taken

I took a 5 second video of the cake arriving with a cheesy song

I took a photo of the actual cake close up

I took a photo of the emigrating friend with his cake

On the journey home I took a short video clip from the car of just the road ahead at night with twinkly lights

I don't suppose you also took one of yourself buying broccoli at any point?

Queenbean · 04/08/2016 17:32

#birthday #friends #laughs #broccolli

TWOBANANAS · 04/08/2016 17:52

Personally I think anyone doing anything on their phone when out with other people is rude. But maybe I'm old fashioned.

CaptainCrunch · 04/08/2016 18:03

If the op's boring, pedantic, self absorbed posting style is reflective of their social behavior I don't think they'll have too many more nights out to irritate people with excessive photo taking...

RageAgainstTheTagine · 04/08/2016 18:07

Actually op, I now kind of think it's not you....but her. Her reaction to your quite limited photo taking on this night was ott. Have you 'slighted' her somehow? I wonder if you do something like not tag her, but do others....or never tag her as your bff or something ridiculous?? Her behaviour seems bitchy considering you are meant to be friends, she must have a reason, and it's usually jealousy.

YorkieDorkie · 04/08/2016 20:44

Captaincrunch spot on Grin. Another bloody MNer who really shouldn't post in AIBU.

Savagebeauty · 04/08/2016 20:49

What yorkiedorkie said

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 04/08/2016 22:21

Op I think you sound like you are more engaged with yourself and your camera than with your friends who were on a night out with you, and maybe that's why you annoyed her.

Original poster
user1470271524 · 05/08/2016 03:34

HerOtherHalf

Love the way you've literally edited my post to omit the relevant bits that completely change the story (such as the girl in question herself asking to take a photo with me) to suit your narrative. WOW. So clever.

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 05/08/2016 04:25

Agree with Storm and Captain

Klaptrap · 05/08/2016 07:10

If the op's boring, pedantic, self absorbed posting style is reflective of their social behavior I don't think they'll have too many more nights out to irritate people with excessive photo taking...

Grin
myownprivateidaho · 05/08/2016 07:24

Hmm, well I don't think that the OP's behaviour is completely outrageous or flagrantly rude but it still appears to be annoying her friends. OP, maybe the best thing to do would be to just talk to your friends? Explain that you've been upset about the couple of snide remarks, and ask if people are getting annoyed about the photo-taking and what they suggest?

IceRoadDucker · 05/08/2016 07:47

Everyone I know, including this group, has their phone out continuously all the time

I'd rather be on my phone than talk to you, OP.

CaptainCrunch · 05/08/2016 07:49

It sounds like the night out from hell, doesn't it? Grin

myownprivateidaho · 05/08/2016 07:58

Would you say this to people in real life? The OP has not done anything horrible, and is clearly very young. Personal attacks on her are really not cool.

2rebecca · 05/08/2016 08:03

I think taking 2 or 3 group photos is fine. People who are forever fiddling with gadgets at meals and trying to get people to pose or look up/ smile/ won't just sit still and enjoy the evening etc are a pain in the bum. Enjoy the evening. You don't have to photograph your life.
I think if they are really friends then if you know they don't like it you'd not do it when with them. If the photos are more important than your friends there's a problem.