I'm always the one taking the photos at parties/outings, but...

[user1470271524]

SOME of my friends always mock me for always taking photos as they don't take any at all, some of them even make me feel bad/embarrassed at the time by pointing it out & making comments...

BUT THEN later some of the same people ask me if i'll send the photos to them, and they're all thrilled to see them next day, talk about them all and have a laugh over them on WhatsApp groups, use them for profile photos/Instagram posts etc.
And then 2/5/10 years later they become treasured memories for everyone, are used for various talking points, presents/cards, photo cakes and general reminiscing.

And if I didn't take them then we'd have no photos at all of so many milestones and special occasions. But it's alright, I just brush it off and do my own thing. I should add i'm a photographer so I do enjoy taking photos even when just on my phone and have an eye for things maybe others don't care about.

However..
The other night we went on a goodbye meal for a friend who is emigrating half way round the world AND it was the first time in 5 years every single one of us had been together under same roof and not likely to happen again for who knows how many years - an occasion on which even people who don't normally take photos would deem photo worthy for a few memories, or at least one group photo.

One friend who strangely is usually the one up for photos and even suggested taking a few photos with me herself that night, kept making jibes about me. We had just two group photos done, one sitting down on the table before eating and later one when we had the surprise cake brought out.
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor, the cake being brought out etc normal stuff which either doesn't involve anyone else, no one even notices i'm taking them, no one is posing for them or is pretty normal stuff to photograph.

However she kept saying in a stunned manner, "I've never taken so many photos like this before in a restaurant.." - TWO group photos? Which people can choose to be part of voluntarily?

Then when another friend was suggesting we should go to a nature trail walk soon she said to her "Don't take Rose, she'll just take loads of photos". I usually just let these digs slide, but this time I wasn't playing, I hadn't done anything to warrant such mean comments and without missing a beat I cheerily said "It's alright i'll go with my family" to which she made a really bitchy sound mocking and mimicking what I had just said as she didn't like that I actually replied making her comment look like the pathetic jibe it was :|

Sigh, I just feel really crappy about this now, but also glad that I said something.

I have always been the one to take the photos. I am not a professional photographer but I do it as a hobby and enjoy it. However, recently when looking through all my photos I realised that actually I was in very few of them so now I hand the camera to others and ask them to take a photo. I have stopped handing over my photos to people now because like you I noticed that all my photos get used for everything and it pisses me off that they use my photos, take all the credit but can't be bothered to take photos themselves. I remember going to a party and the host put up some photos on Facebook, not one contained me or my children but then they asked me for all the photos I had taken!

Sorry, that came over as a harsher message than I was intending! I don't mean to sound so critical. I should add: this woman's bitchy attitude was way out of line, and she had no right to speak to you that way. I can see how you're doing the group a favour. Perhaps fewer and more informal shots rather than posed ones might be a way forward?

You say that you take loads of photos and no-one even notices, but then you complain that other people are giving out about you taking too many photos?
Seems obvious they do notice and are finding it very irritating. Especially if multiple people have said it.

People who appoint themselves group photographer get on my nerves. Put your damn phone away and join in instead of living through a lens!

*Mrstumbletap

Maybe ask at the next do, "shall I take one of all of us?" And get a general feel of what people all say, if they all say yes, or start happily moving into position you know they want a pic*

That's literally what happened, I would never force people or insist on a photo. Like i said this was a rare night with everyone together after years and one person emigrating so it was a pretty special night and everyone got up to happily take it with just a mere suggestion.

*hedalettuce

You say that you take loads of photos and no-one even notices, but then you complain that other people are giving out about you taking too many photos?
Seems obvious they do notice and are finding it very irritating. Especially if multiple people have said it.*

What I mean is that when I take photos not involving them and at appropriate times it's not affecting them in any way and not "noticeable" in the way people might have assumed to start with. Ofcourse they will technically notice that while they're on their own phone sending an email and not talking to anyone themselves i've turned the other way and taken a photo of something, or when they're eating their starter and not talking to me or anyone else for that matter, of course they possibly notice I took a photo of my starter (no flash, not their food) but it's not noticeable in the way that it affects their night. i.e. I am not Uncle Bob with the camera around his neck.

Bizarrely enough I had my phone in my hand less than the very person who made the remarks to me and several times I had to turn my head away from them as I didn't want it to look like I was looking at their messages on screen when I was sitting next to them.

OP, clearly this particular group of friends find your Snapchatting annoying. You can continue to justify yourself but it won't stop them feeling irritated. They seem to have made their feelings perfectly clear so, in future, just don't take as many photos when you're with them and they won't have anything to be bitchy to you about.

BTW, why is the mumsnet forum so obsessed with anonymity? I've posted on a number of forums over the years and none have ever been so collectively worried about posting their names or of people knowing who they are. Is there a reason here?

User-just try going out, one night, without your phone and see if you enjoy it better, I bet my bottom dollar you'll have great fun.You won't have any pictures but you'll be able to focus on the people you are with, it's quite liberating.I can understand you wanting to capture the group meal, but in all honesty, constant snapping would get on my nerves, but I'm a grumpy sod.
Not to do with you, but I hate the staged photos with a passion I.e group of people looking miserable as sin, all ignoring each other checking their messages, no conversation never mind laughter, camera appears cue fake smiles, glasses in the air, next day pics posted "Great Night", really ?.My other hate is the filter, if you insist on posting, at least post a picture that looks like you. I think you can tell I'm not a phone person.

That would wind me up to be honest. My biggest bugbear with people constantly posting on Instagram and Snapchat when I'm out with them isn't the time that they spend taking photos, it's the fact that I feel they're using our night out as proof of how cool they are and how amazing their life is to their internet buddies rather than actually enjoying spending time with me. I feel like I'm a convenient prop rather than the reason they're out.

Tricky one. I personally loathe having my picture taken as I'm not exactly 'photogenic', but I do remember my ex having an enormous row with his best friend, because said friend was constantly snapping away when they went out together. I understood where my ex was coming from - they spent most of their time surfing and scuba diving - and he just wanted to 'get on with it' rather than being constantly snapped. But I also saw the friend's side - he had basically made a bit of a hobby out of photography, and thoroughly enjoyed it - and the particularly activities they were doing together can make for some great pics. Try not to upset by it. I'm extremely lazy about taking pictures, but I do wish I had taken more of my son as a baby - I've got a few, but was too bloody tired to take more.

How many photos did you take on this particular night out in all? 5? 10? 20? more?

I think what is touching about this post is that the OP genuinely felt she was contributing towards the evening by taking pics, and thought it was something that would give her friends enjoyment & pleasure after the event. Maybe just say in future, 'look, I'm a bit of a happy snapper and known for getting my phone out - is that cool with everyone?'. That way people like me who are not so keen can say 'fine, go ahead, but leave my face out of them!'

I have to laugh at the posters mocking the pointlessness of photos that disappear within 24 hours - yes it might seem like a ridiculous concept but it's a ridiculous concept that is hugely popular, has made an absolute fortune, and is used by 10 million Britons every day - so pulling OP up on that is more ridiculous - by which I mean you don't have to like or agree with the idea but mocking it as though it is some weird outlandish quirk is both rude and out of touch.

OP I think Moogerbooger is right - ok from your POV you've justified your photo taking but obviously your friends have a different opinion - doesn't mean either of you are necessarily right or wrong.

Perhaps each of those individual photos was no issue but collectively it is. Perhaps your friend was just in a bad mood that day. Perhaps they meant it as a joke and it came out wrong. Who knows?

It is quite likely, as you say,it wouldn't be an issue with other people, but, for whatever reason, it is for that group of friends...and they are entitled to be annoyed by whatever they want, even if to you it doesn't seem fair, or rational. It's up to you to decide if you want to
a) keep taking photos and ignore them if they moan
b) continue spending time with them and take fewer photos
c) stop seeing them so much and spend more time with friends who aren't bothered by you taking photos

dontmakemedothis - I think it is because MN is such a big and well known site it is often trawled by various TV and paper journalists and some threads can quickly go viral - so while you might not have any concerns about the 5 other regular viewers of a niche car forum knowing a view about exhaust pipes, for example, users on MN can innocently start or comment on a light-hearted thread and then have their details splashed across the Daily Mail - even if the comment itself is innocuous anybody can then search their user name and match it up with other details in threads they could have commented on years ago to 'out' them.

Why have so many posts on this thread been deleted?

I have to laugh at the posters mocking the pointlessness of photos that disappear within 24 hours - yes it might seem like a ridiculous concept but it's a ridiculous concept that is hugely popular, has made an absolute fortune, and is used by 10 million Britons every day - so pulling OP up on that is more ridiculous - by which I mean you don't have to like or agree with the idea but mocking it as though it is some weird outlandish quirk is both rude and out of touch.

But the op said "I take these photos for myself". How is a photo which you send to all your followers and disappears in 24 hours "for yourself"?

If you're with your friends anyway then who would you send these pics too? If someone snap chatted me a pic of the interior of a restaurant I really wouldn't give a toss about that.

No one is sneering about using snapchat but it is weird the way in which op is using it

but it's not noticeable in the way that it affects their night. i.e. I am not Uncle Bob with the camera around his neck

But apparently it does, or else they wouldn't be saying it! If its one person, maybe its them. If several people have mentioned or complained about you and your photos, its you.

*queenbean

But the op said "I take these photos for myself". How is a photo which you send to all your followers and disappears in 24 hours "for yourself"?

If you're with your friends anyway then who would you send these pics too? If someone snap chatted me a pic of the interior of a restaurant I really wouldn't give a toss about that.

No one is sneering about using snapchat but it is weird the way in which op is using it*

I really don't think you understand what Snapchat is and yet making judgements about it. I meant take photos for myself, in that it's not really anyone else's business if I want to take a photo of my food or the decor to put on my Snapchat, it doesn't involve them, it's photos I like to take for myself for my Snapchat story, just the same as those same people don't think it's my business about who they're texting/emailing on the table next to me at the meal.

I don't "send" the photos on Snapchat to anyone (you only do that if it's something private between one person and you), you put it on your stories, it's part of a narrative of the day. If you're not into Snapchat fine, but it makes you look silly commenting confidently on something you don't understand.

And by going with a group of friends for a meal doesn't mean my WHOLE Snapchat friends list is there. That's like saying "If you're with your friends anyway then why put them on Facebook, who would you even show it to?"

Silvermantela - I also find it hilarious that people want to laugh at the concept of a photo disappearing after 24 hours on social media - Do you even look at a photo more than once when it appears on any other social media?!

Having your hand on your phone for half the night is code for "I'm kind of bored so I'm dicking about on Snapchat".

Do you honestly not see that it's rude to be out with people but spending half of your time together looking at your phone?

And don't get me started on people who can't eat until they've taken a photo of their fucking burger.

Side note: Who is the DonaldTrump poster & why have they had posts deleted on various threads today? Is it the real deal? I know he's not entirely sympathetic to women!

Gribbie

I took a selfie of myself in the back of the car - I was alone in the back, we talked in phases, at times no one was talking, at times I couldn't easily be part of the conversation at the back, no one knows I took that till they saw on Snapchat (yes all the same friends are on Snapchat themselves..!) and i'm not really going to apologise to anyone for taking a photo of my own face anyway.

I took one of the decor while waiting for a table when everyone was scattered everywhere and no one was properly "socialising".

I took a selfie with the very person who made the comments at the end - AT HER REQUEST.

I took a selfie with another girl as it just made sense to take one with her too and she said "Let's take one"

I took one of my starter when everyone started their food and again no one was talking or anything and it took 1 second.

We had a group photo taken on the table which everyone was happy to take.

I took a 5 second video of the cake arriving with a cheesy song and sparkler like half the table did on their own phones.

I took a photo of the actual cake close up which nearly everyone else did.

I took a photo of the emigrating friend with his cake like everyone else did.

We had one group photo taken with the cake and friend which everyone wanted as the photo of the night as won't be under the same roof again for years and I got "Send me these photos" from the others.

The friend made the comments about "So many photos.." and the rest of the harsh comments.

On the journey home I took a short video clip from the car of just the road ahead at night with twinkly lights with a song on the radio that we all love (again a Snapchat thing, it's a little short glimpse into your life) - again sat at the back on my own, they don't even know I took it till they saw on Snapchat later and how that would be of concern to anyone baffles me.

Hope that breakdown was satisfactory! And I guess it's kinda relevant that the same people choose to be on Snapchat and check all the stories voluntarily and screenshot my photos from the night and other nights.

Kalispera

Yeah if you read my other replies, or just the last reply above you'll see I don't do that at all. The none photo takers were on their phone more than me texting and emailing and leaving me waiting before I can talk on occasion.

Ha ha ha. Oh OP, I know exactly how snapchat works, but with your patronising and rude comments it's not difficult to see why your friends find you a pain in the arse.

How utterly sad that you're letting life pass you by because you're too busy photographing it to show your social media followers what an amazing life you have rather than just living it.

I think it's a question of expected behaviour on a night out - that to me would be frustrating behaviour from a friend and I have consciously dialled down the time I spend with people who do this. Plus if you'd responded to your friend in the way you've responded here I would think you were being quite obnoxious - just because people don't like the concept of Snapchat doesn't mean they don't get it, they just think it's absurd.