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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm always the one taking the photos at parties/outings, but...

161 replies

user1470271524 · 04/08/2016 02:43

SOME of my friends always mock me for always taking photos as they don't take any at all, some of them even make me feel bad/embarrassed at the time by pointing it out & making comments...

BUT THEN later some of the same people ask me if i'll send the photos to them, and they're all thrilled to see them next day, talk about them all and have a laugh over them on WhatsApp groups, use them for profile photos/Instagram posts etc.
And then 2/5/10 years later they become treasured memories for everyone, are used for various talking points, presents/cards, photo cakes and general reminiscing.

And if I didn't take them then we'd have no photos at all of so many milestones and special occasions. But it's alright, I just brush it off and do my own thing. I should add i'm a photographer so I do enjoy taking photos even when just on my phone and have an eye for things maybe others don't care about.

However..
The other night we went on a goodbye meal for a friend who is emigrating half way round the world AND it was the first time in 5 years every single one of us had been together under same roof and not likely to happen again for who knows how many years - an occasion on which even people who don't normally take photos would deem photo worthy for a few memories, or at least one group photo.

One friend who strangely is usually the one up for photos and even suggested taking a few photos with me herself that night, kept making jibes about me. We had just two group photos done, one sitting down on the table before eating and later one when we had the surprise cake brought out.
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor, the cake being brought out etc normal stuff which either doesn't involve anyone else, no one even notices i'm taking them, no one is posing for them or is pretty normal stuff to photograph.

However she kept saying in a stunned manner, "I've never taken so many photos like this before in a restaurant.." - TWO group photos? Which people can choose to be part of voluntarily?

Then when another friend was suggesting we should go to a nature trail walk soon she said to her "Don't take Rose, she'll just take loads of photos". I usually just let these digs slide, but this time I wasn't playing, I hadn't done anything to warrant such mean comments and without missing a beat I cheerily said "It's alright i'll go with my family" to which she made a really bitchy sound mocking and mimicking what I had just said as she didn't like that I actually replied making her comment look like the pathetic jibe it was :|

Sigh, I just feel really crappy about this now, but also glad that I said something.

OP posts:
Ifailed · 04/08/2016 06:27

they're kinda useless at technology....

But I am good at all those things...

SlimCheesy2 · 04/08/2016 06:40

I hate having photos taken of me. I have alot of issues around how I look and I avoid photos and the camera, so if you taking constant photos it would make me feel very very unsettled indeed. Maybe some feel like that?

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 04/08/2016 06:42

Ive dropped a mate for constant picture taking, its hard to enjoy the moment with some one constantly snapping and posing.

Heatherbell1978 · 04/08/2016 06:46

Out of interest, how old are you? When I was in my twenties my friends and I took tons of pictures, we were always at gigs, festivals, holidays, nights out and we enjoyed plastering our glamorous selves all over FB and the like.
Now though, I'm late 30s, look fairly tired most of the time with a toddler and also pregnant. I don't have as much time to glam up and really don't care as much at having my face tagged everywhere. I'd be annoyed if I was getting my picture taken constantly to be honest and it does sound like the rest of your group aren't that bothered about getting their pictures taken either.

DonaldTrumpTriggersSJWlol · 04/08/2016 06:46

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sall74 · 04/08/2016 07:08

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you don't take an unreasonably excessive amounts of photos... until I saw your comment about taking photos for yourself to go on snapchat which dissappear after 24 hours, which suggests that your photo taking is pointless, excessive, irritating and intrusive.

avocadosweet · 04/08/2016 07:38

Yes, what is the point of having photos for 24 hours? You might as well just use your eyes. It sounds like you're not comfortable unless you're holding a camera.

WanderingTrolley1 · 04/08/2016 07:51

People constantly snapping are irritating.

myusernamewastaken · 04/08/2016 07:57

I think i look ok in real life but i am the least photogenic person on the planet.....someone constantly snapping around me would make me tense and annoyed.....

Owlytellsmesecrets · 04/08/2016 07:58

My DM was exactly the same and we all used to moan and complain.
Now when we have family get togethers no one takes photos as DM died in 2014.
I try but have 3 kids to supervise so usually busy with them.

ThisIslandGirl · 04/08/2016 07:59

'Cripes, and there are people dying in the world...'

You could say that for anything. If you feel so strongly about people dying in the world why don't you do something useful instead of insulting strangers on an Internet forum?

KC225 · 04/08/2016 08:05

I loathe having my photograph taken and have done ever since I was a child. People who do take constant photographs are extremely annoying and in my opinion rarely take a hint or stop even when requested.

I have a friend who takes who constant photos whilst your are eating, talking, yawning for gods sake. Its invasive and rude. The moment is constantly being interrupted by clicking, 'oh just one more'. Photographs do have their place but one group photograph was enough. Do you really feel the need to document every single occasion. Sometimes memories are better without the cold hard evidence.

tulippa · 04/08/2016 08:06

Taking a couple of photos to remember an important event is a nice thing to do. Taking snapchat photos of restaurant decor is weird.

I have a family member who takes constant photos whenever we go round for a birthday or suchlike. Dneph opening his presents or blowing candles out on his birthday are understandable photo opportunities but when you're just having a conversation or playing with the kids and up he pops again and again and again I find it intrusive and a bit violating.

mouldycheesefan · 04/08/2016 08:08

I can see why taking lots of photos could be irritating, life through a lens and all that.
Could you limit yourself to ten mins snapping and then put the camera away and enjoy the evening?

TutanKaDashian · 04/08/2016 08:10

Tbh OP, it can get incredibly annoying when people are constantly snapping away. Just live in the moment and enjoy yourself. If I take my camera then I'll take a couple of pics but the rest of the time I'm just having fun. I certainly don't want to be posing for photos half the night or feel as though someone is trailing around after me trying to capture a shot of the proceedings.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/08/2016 08:16

Yanbu at all, I love photos and it's lovely to have a memory. Your 'friends' sound mean. Next time tell them as their quite rude not to ask you for any pictures then! Their OK to take your pictures!

chipsandpeas · 04/08/2016 08:19

yup i have a friend thats constantly taking pics and its very annoying to the point as soon as i see her getting the phone out im away to the bar/loo/ciggie to avoid them
if you decline to be in the photos she doesnt like it
then the photos appear on fb

Shakey15000 · 04/08/2016 08:21

Two group photos-fine. On top of that, someone taking snaps of their food/self=irritating.

Perhaps you snap crap more than you realise? Lovely to have group photos and memories though as I always forget and live "in the moment" etc

Oblomov16 · 04/08/2016 08:23

Then stop taking them.
I don't mind one or two photos, a group photo is skyways best. But to have someone constantly snapping is irritating. I just want to chat and have a good time, not worry about how I look in someone's constant photos.

Do yourself a favour and stop taking them. At all. Or only one or two. Then people won't talk about you.

DinosaursRoar · 04/08/2016 08:24

It's annoying when people are taking photos all the time - you might think "oh, but it was only 2 group photos" but if that involved everyone having to stop conversations twice to be ushered together for a faff to take a big photo, then that's annoying - and it wasn't just 2 photos as you talk about taking photos of the food (so what, 3/4 different ones, taking each photo more than once? do you move around to get a good angle, move things on the table before you can take it?), and as it's rude to start eating until everyone else is ready to eat, delaying starting each course you were delaying everyone else eating when food was served, or forcing them to behave in a rude way - which gets other people's backs up.

Then you mention taking photos of the decor etc.

It seems you need to record what's going on more than take part in what's going on. There does seem to be some people who view that if they haven't recorded an event, it doesn't have the same value. While your friends might like looking back at the photos you took, they enjoy the memories more, and perhaps you'd have better memories if you weren't stopping the "flow" of the evening to get posed photos of people/food etc.

Next time you are going out with this group, make an effort not to take any photos.

DinosaursRoar · 04/08/2016 08:28

oh yes, and it's also annoying when as well as 'posed' photos, you have people taking unprepared reportage type shots, which might look nice and arty for you, if your friends are feeling a bit selfconcious, they don't want to have to constantly worry about how they look, keep topping up the make up because you'll be taking photos all the bloody time if they want you to or not, and then sharing with the group, even if they don't want them.

Your friends have made it clear via direct comments and snide digs and jokes that they don't like you taking lots of photos, stop doing it or you'll stop being invited.

YelloDraw · 04/08/2016 08:33

Well I like it when friends take photos - means I don't have to bother! Especially like it when a friends with a DSLR takes loads since they always come out so much better than my iPhone.

OP they don't sound alike great friends, on the one hand berating you for taking photos and on the other hand asking for them.

I know you have to take loads to get a few decent ones, but maybe you could reduce it down a bit. Maybe they feel you spend more time behind the camera than talking to them?

hate having photos taken of me. I have alot of issues around how I look and I avoid photos and the camera, so if you taking constant photos it would make me feel very very unsettled indeed. Maybe some feel like that?

Why does a photo make you feel worse than just everyone looking at you and seeing you in the flesh?

molyholy · 04/08/2016 08:34

so i'm doing a favour to everyone really

Are you? Really? If they asked you to share your photos and you said you never took any, would they be upset, or just say 'oh, okay then'. It's not your job to take pictures in case anyone asks for them in the future.

if a few people have made jibes, maybe it is grating. Especially taking pics of decor which will disappear. What is the point in that? I don't use Snapchat so not really sure what it is all about.

DrDreReturns · 04/08/2016 08:41

DW is always taking photos on days out. I find it really annoying as the rest of the family has to hang around until she's finished when we'd just like to get on and enjoy the day out!

icouldabeenacontender · 04/08/2016 08:43

I'm not entirely sure I get what your beef is, it doesn't sound like anything major?
I have to ask what the point of taking a photo which lasts 24 hours is?
You do sound like you photograph every event thing without actually being part of the event.
I can imagine that would be spectacularly annoying for others in your group who want to share the experience as it happens.

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