I'm always the one taking the photos at parties/outings, but...

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SOME of my friends always mock me for always taking photos as they don't take any at all, some of them even make me feel bad/embarrassed at the time by pointing it out & making comments...

BUT THEN later some of the same people ask me if i'll send the photos to them, and they're all thrilled to see them next day, talk about them all and have a laugh over them on WhatsApp groups, use them for profile photos/Instagram posts etc.
And then 2/5/10 years later they become treasured memories for everyone, are used for various talking points, presents/cards, photo cakes and general reminiscing.

And if I didn't take them then we'd have no photos at all of so many milestones and special occasions. But it's alright, I just brush it off and do my own thing. I should add i'm a photographer so I do enjoy taking photos even when just on my phone and have an eye for things maybe others don't care about.

However..
The other night we went on a goodbye meal for a friend who is emigrating half way round the world AND it was the first time in 5 years every single one of us had been together under same roof and not likely to happen again for who knows how many years - an occasion on which even people who don't normally take photos would deem photo worthy for a few memories, or at least one group photo.

One friend who strangely is usually the one up for photos and even suggested taking a few photos with me herself that night, kept making jibes about me. We had just two group photos done, one sitting down on the table before eating and later one when we had the surprise cake brought out.
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor, the cake being brought out etc normal stuff which either doesn't involve anyone else, no one even notices i'm taking them, no one is posing for them or is pretty normal stuff to photograph.

However she kept saying in a stunned manner, "I've never taken so many photos like this before in a restaurant.." - TWO group photos? Which people can choose to be part of voluntarily?

Then when another friend was suggesting we should go to a nature trail walk soon she said to her "Don't take Rose, she'll just take loads of photos". I usually just let these digs slide, but this time I wasn't playing, I hadn't done anything to warrant such mean comments and without missing a beat I cheerily said "It's alright i'll go with my family" to which she made a really bitchy sound mocking and mimicking what I had just said as she didn't like that I actually replied making her comment look like the pathetic jibe it was :|

Sigh, I just feel really crappy about this now, but also glad that I said something.

It's very rude to snapchat during a meal.
The group photos are nice but not everyone needs photographic evidence of s night out, the memory is enough.
What you are doing sounds quite strange and I think your friend would prefer if you stopped.

Two group photos fine.

Photos of food, decor, etc can get irritating and IT does sound like you do it a lot. Which is rude in a restaurant when out with friends.

You probably think that no one notices you snap chatting but you are WRONG. My friend does it "discreetly" and honestly we don't notice that she's taking pictures, what we DO notice is that she is in no way a part of our conversation and it's irritating. You sound irritating with it "Rose".

Taking photos, as with many things in life, is about balance. It sounds like you're overdoing it and your friends are trying to give you the hint that it's getting annoying. The fact that they might ask for photos occasionally shouldn't be used by you as justification to disregard their negative comments. Just tone it down a bit. Take fewer shots, be more subtle when your actually taking them and limit how many you share with your friends.

I can think of two keen photographers out of the many I know that offer interesting examples. My son-in-law takes his camera everywhere and is incessantly snapping away. It's irritating because you feel constantly on guard not to get caught with a stupid face on and it stops him properly engaging socially. My dad was also an incredibly keen photographer, as evidenced by the thousands of photos we found after he died, yet we were only vaguely aware he even had a camera. Turns out he'd spent much of his life capturing many wonderful shots of our family and friends but managed to do so without any of us even realizing.

Sorry OP but you didn't just take two group photos- you said yourself that were Snapchatting all night. It doesn't matter if your friends were in the photo or not, it's very distracting trying to have a meal/night out with someone constantly behind their phone. If I want to Snapchat, I do a quick one-two at the beginning of the night and then put the phone away so everyone can relax/enjoy and I can be part of the night! The person constantly on their phone almost seems like they're not fully 'there'. You'll be surprised how much more you can get out if an experience if you put the phone down sometimes!

Having said that, I think your friend was being quite unnecessarily nasty to you but she was probably fed up for the reasons above. No need for her to be so rude though.

Agree that if you are behind your phone snapchatting, you aren't part of the conversation, you aren't part of the night out that you are busy recording. It'll be giving the impression you want to record the night out more than participate in it. If people don't realise you are snapchatting, then all they see is rather than taking part, is you on your phone, you could be photographing everything, or on FB, or reading a news website, but clearly finding what's going on with your phone more entertaining than the company.

Bloody rude OP.

Next time you are out with them, leave your phone in your bag for the whole night, don't take a single photo, see if you have a good night or not. If you don't actually enjoy engaging with these people, then perhaps you need to find friends who's company is entertaining enough for you.

I get so angry when I'm trying to have a good time and I see someone with a camera pointed at me, and they have this stupid 'gotcha' grin on their faces, and I feel like a twat. And it never. stops.
However op, if they are arsey about the taking of the photos, stop sharing them. Maybe show them the odd printed snippets, but don't let them have them.
Maybe if you ask to take photos from now on?

I think your confusing them wanting the photos and loving them afterwards, I think it's less "oh wow what lovely photos" and more "well they are taken now I may as well have them", you may be overthinking the enthusiasm for them.

There has to be a happy medium here, just put the camera/phone away more and only take the photos toubreally want. People taking photos of their food is pretty sad and annoying to be honest.

I think your friends are being rude but were they always rude? I am wondering if it has been annoying them for ages and they have been through the nice subtle hint phase but it went over your head and now they are in the rude hint phase and you are picking up on the rudeness but not on the hint to put the camera away

I loathe having my picture taken and find someone constantly snapping away irritating in the extreme.
I remember being at a fancy dress karaoke party one with some friends;we were all really letting our hair down but this one woman kept taking pictures. It was ruining the vibe and when she went to the loo we hid her camera.

Plus people fiddling with their phone when they are meant to be eating/ chatting is rude!

Well I doubt she was referring to the two group photos but the endless fucking pointless snapchats.

I have a friend who takes 100's of photos at any event - mostly to avoid actually interacting with what is going on.

I think perhaps try and strike a bit more of a balance wrt documenting every single thing. And if it's only for 24 hours surely you don't need to take them at all?

If you were spending every social event taking photos all the time I'd get annoyed too.

But if you aren't prepared to acknowledge there is a massive difference between 2 group photos and endless snap chats well this whole thing is pointless.

Well I bet OP wasn't expecting this
Nothing wrong with a couple of group shots but not what you seem to be doing. Sounds like what a teenager would do.

Yeah everyone hates Rose because her super power is mastery of her awesome camera phone and the rest of her world is photographically flaccid

You were rude and annoying with the snap chat crap op, I would have asked you to put the phone away and participate in the evening properly or go home.

OP I think your friends are trying to tell you that they're getting tired of being props in your photos. And if you don't heed this warning, you're going to find yourself taking lots of photos of meals for one.

Taking a few photos - fine.
Taking endless photos AND uploading them to social media as you're going along - rude.

It would really irritate me - why can't people just live in the moment? A couple of group photos on a night out is fine, but taking photos during a meal and of the food? Not so fine.
Having said that, the mimicking etc. sounds very childish.
Maybe join a photography group and socialise with them instead.

CaoNiMa - Do you only ever talk about things concerning people dying then?

SaltyMyDear Have you had the same type of comments from friends?

Re: The replies saying it's annoying. Yeah the examples you guys mention annoying but i'm not like that at all, I don't take a photo of people when they're mid talking to me, or record whole concerts/parties, or annoy them in any way. I did explain what I actually did above. I do get to enjoy the whole night as when I do take photos it doesn't affect anyone or the night (apart from the 2 group photos which everyone was all for) which is why I don't get why they would care what I do.

When i'm taking photos of other things it's for example a photo of the amazing decor in the foyer which took 1 second while waiting for our table, we had been there awhile, standing around, everyone's scattered, only chatting in bits, some people gone to bathroom, some people literally on their phone zoned out (I don't call them out on that?).

Then when I took a photo of my starter everyone was eating their's and not talking or interacting in any way for the first few moments when everyone's just into their food - again doesn't affect anyone and took 1 second. I took a selfie with the very person who made the harsh comments at her request..?! And I took a video & photo of the cake being brought in which most people on the table did too or shouted at me "Send me this!"!

The person who made the harsh comments this time (and another person on the table) was actually on their phone texting and zoning out from the group several times leaving people waiting for them to finish before I could talk which I didn't do once in the night and never do as I find it very rude. Taking a 1 second photo at appropriate opportunities is atleast appreciating where we are and actually are doing in the moment.

I'm not silly, I know what's appropriate and isn't, and like I said it's not an issue at all with any other groups of friends, hence this feels like an unnecessary problem. I don't mind friendly ribbing but the comments from that one friend just really got to me this time.

Amelie10
The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours) of the food, the amazing decor

And you don't see how irritating this is even if you aren't taking photos of other people?
Irritating for someone in the group to be flashing away and being rude.

You've made assumptions which are not even true, i've explained in my reply above at how i'll take them at appropriate times, it takes 1 second and I don't use flash. While the person who had such a problem with it this time was actually rude zoning out on her phone.

*Sprink

The rest were just of me taking fun Snapchats for myself (photos which disappear after 24 hours)

What is the actual fucking point of taking photos for yourself that will disappear in 24 hours?*

Snapchat is the fastest growing social media app and nearly every brand uses it as well now. The photos are posted live and show for 24 hours to your friends and then disappear so they're not hanging around online forever. You can still save the photos for yourself to keep though. Hope that helps.

Oh just discovered the 2nd page of replies - new here!

Yeah..I think those evaluations would hold more weight if the very person making the rude comments, and the others, didn't actually go on their phone to text and leave people waiting at social moments themselves - something which I absolutely never do.

OP when you think about the rest of the group what do you think they feel about the photos? This one person that made the remark may just be a bit of a cow and makes snide remarks at people.

Maybe ask at the next do, "shall I take one of all of us?" And get a general feel of what people all say, if they all say yes, or start happily moving into position you know they want a pic, if they grumble and say 'oh I look crap' or roll their eyes etc, just take the one and leave it.

I am like you and love taking pictures and so many of my friends profile pictures are photos I have taken, they generally hand me the camera in events . But I know my group of friends like me taking the photos as every few years we get the photos out with a bottle of wine and go through them and it's a lovely evening.

You need to judge whether it's one bitchy comment from a cow, or your group are a bit tired of photos and want a few camera free nights.

AIBU?

Yes, a bit

No, I'm not, really I'm not

DinosaursRoar

It's annoying when people are taking photos all the time - you might think "oh, but it was only 2 group photos" but if that involved everyone having to stop conversations twice to be ushered together for a faff to take a big photo, then that's annoying - and it wasn't just 2 photos as you talk about taking photos of the food (so what, 3/4 different ones, taking each photo more than once? do you move around to get a good angle, move things on the table before you can take it?), and as it's rude to start eating until everyone else is ready to eat, delaying starting each course you were delaying everyone else eating when food was served, or forcing them to behave in a rude way - which gets other people's backs up.

Nope none of that happened, I would understand if that's what was happening. I took a photo of my own starter when everyone's starting to eat theirs and not even talking or looking at each other for that 1 second it took, no need to move and noone was affected. I don't think I need to apologise for taking a photo of my own plate of food, if people think that's annoying when it doesn't affect their life or night then you have to wonder why it annoys them?

Re: The comments about taking a photo of the decor - it's a Snapchat thing, I wouldn't upload that on Facebook or anything for example. Aaaand one of the "I don't like photos" people screenshot it to keep themselves, which I find more bizarre than taking it yourself.

I don't mind posing for a few photos of a great night out. I have having my picture taken and it makes me cringe inside to look at these things, but I recognise that other people want a memory of the time.

But constantly having to pose does get in the way of social interaction, and it's inappropriate if, for instance, hot food has just been served and is getting cold. Also, if it's getting in the way of ordering/restaurant staff.

My PIL constantly take pictures. MIL has to take one, then FIL has to take the same one. There are endless photos of the family standing in a rigid line, with rictus grins looking cold/bored/worn out. I look at them and all I remember is how annoying it was to have to pose for a full five minutes when actually I was having a lovely conversation with BIL that got interrupted for this nonsense. A quick snap is fine, but more gets in the way of having a good time - it gets in the way of quality time bonding with friends. There is a reason why, at weddings etc, there are professional photographers - because it lets everyone else get on with their day. Also, the best pictures of most people are usually the ones that someone takes without them even realising they are on camera.

I am sure you mean really well and you sound like you're really doing the group a favour by recording things. But maybe just scale it back a bit? You can set the camera to a burst function where it takes dozens of pictures at once, and then choose the nicest.