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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is London going to get a coffee and blow job cafe?

141 replies

HelenaDove · 03/08/2016 17:45

It reads like a joke or an April fool........but its August.

It cant be serious.

www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/london-to-get-coffee-and-fellatio-cafe-a7170266.html?cmpid=facebook-post

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 03/08/2016 18:12

Seriously. If a man picks me and I get out there and say I'm not blowing that man and so get sacked. ..how would that stand up on employment law?

HelenaDove · 03/08/2016 18:15

Good point Stealth Im also worried about young women signing on who could be forced to apply for a job there as a waitress

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 03/08/2016 18:17

Fuck this shit. What is going on. I'm not giving this guy £50 but I'd happily join anyone who wants to stand outside and throw eggs at the building. We'd try as hard as we cpuld to avoid the patrons but you know how bad women's aim can be.

WorraLiberty · 03/08/2016 18:17

No-one can be forced into the sex trade by the Job Center.

HelenaDove · 03/08/2016 18:19

The waitresses arent the ones performing the sexual services though so technically it could happen.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 03/08/2016 18:19

Presumably this would have to operate as a brothel with the women supposedly self employed. There is no way he could employ prostitutes.

BillSykesDog · 03/08/2016 18:23

Yep. NCT groups blocking the place out. Students who just want the free Wi-Fi. Old ladies who take an hour to decide what cake to share. Sorted. Get 'em shut down in a week.

I'm not anti-prostitution, but this just seems so sordid because it's taking something so normal and sexualising it needlessly. It's just seediness, one step along the road to sexualising everyday life.

And apart from anything else, how unerotic. Really, it's just the least sexy set of circumstances I could possible think of.

I mean, do you think a man has ever stood in Starbucks thinking 'Oooh, what would really improve this is if I could have a hooker with my machiatto'? Well, in truth, they probably have. But they're weirdos who should not be encouraged and are probably responsible for some of those mysterious crusty stains you get after rush hour on the tube. They need help. Not a tug with their Americano.

Chippednailvarnishing · 03/08/2016 18:23

Nowadays, ice cream is not the most popular product because of dieting
He clearly has a niche clientele in mind, wealthy men who are tragic enough to have to pay for sexual services, but are also keen members of slimming world Grin

StealthPolarBear · 03/08/2016 18:24

Problem is bill coffee is £50

BillSykesDog · 03/08/2016 18:24

I think probably what he would do is charge people for 'coffee' with no extras (eg £50 for a coffee) and pay the women for 'hosting' services and say anything that happened between them was private between consenting adults.

BillSykesDog · 03/08/2016 18:26

Stealth, from some of the NCT Mum's I've heard discussing the price of prams and cars a £50 coffee would be a challenge, not an obstacle.

MammouthTask · 03/08/2016 18:26

Does it not make the owner of the cafe a pimp?

And yes that's basically prostution right on the high street. How that can be seen as acceptable...
If you want to do that, at least go back to the seedy areas of the town, not there.

Queenbean · 03/08/2016 18:27

So what happens when a group of unsuspecting tourists come in, order coffee and get presented with a lady-menu and a very expensive bill?!

BillSykesDog · 03/08/2016 18:27

Mums*. FFS, apostrophe fail.

WorraLiberty · 03/08/2016 18:28

The waitresses arent the ones performing the sexual services though so technically it could happen.

No it couldn't.

They can't force people to apply for bar work in strip clubs either.

StealthPolarBear · 03/08/2016 18:28

True bill. Can any of them buy me one :o

spamm · 03/08/2016 18:33

Is it legal to have something that only serves one sex? What would happen if you went in as a woman and demanded service? I know these questions are beyond the WTF that first came to me when I read this, as it is just crazy and insane. But then I started thinking further...

Queenbean · 03/08/2016 18:35

What happens if a trans man goes in and asks for fellatio on a non-existent penis....??

GobblersKnob · 03/08/2016 18:39

Hang on, did everyone else just skim over 'smoothie bars with live owls' wtf?

What kind of Hogwarts inspired health fad is that?

SpeakNoWords · 03/08/2016 18:43

I can't believe that this has been so widely reported. Surely this kind of thing is definitely illegal?

RhiWrites · 03/08/2016 18:45

It's a brothel and they won't be allowed to open it. Honestly "my lawyer's sorting all that out". Come on, now.

HerOtherHalf · 03/08/2016 18:47

I wonder what happens if you order a frappuccino.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/08/2016 18:47

Reading out some of this thread to DH, he suggested they would have to serve Monmouth coffee ...

The guy seems an arse. This is obviously never going to fly, so that means it can only be a huge scam for publicity. So what does he actually want the publicity for?

Casmama · 03/08/2016 18:48

Just told my dh about this and was slightly perturbed to find that he thought it was an ok idea and didn't agree that people wouldn't want to be seen going in their. Further questioning revealed that he thought fellatio was just some sort of expensive pastry Grin

Casmama · 03/08/2016 18:49

There!

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