To think this is not a fucking cafe?

[calamityjam]

I am getting so fed up of children and food likes/dislikes. I have 3 dc's at home ds2 age 15, dd age 13 and ds3 age 8. Every time I make a meal or buy food recently one of them says "Oh mum you know I hate that". It is getting ridiculous now, I have to make seperate meals without sweetcorn or ham or whatever else they won't eat. Last week dd was the only child at home for tea so I offered her 6 options for tea, all of which were refused and she sulked in her room for hours until I felt bad and ordered her a takeaway because she hadn't eaten all day. Cereal is a joke. Every single one I buy, one child will not eat it. They all like weetabix but say they are getting fed up with it now. I have a list of about 10 meals which they will all eat but are not very cheap to make. Any ideas gratefully accepted.

My son is asd and have major issues with food.

Now I don't give a damn, despite his disability I have gone for the tough route. He is slowly eating and liking new foods and I am saving lots of money and he is eating a more heathy balanced diet.

Eat well for less done it for me.

It's a case of ' Learn by others mistakes'
Since when did mothers become servants to their children, why do mothers try and make every aspect of a child's life to the child's liking??

My mother cooked good wholesome home made food, there were 6 of us counting the adults, we ate what we were given and so did our friends when they stayed, they never complained and always returned, I cook for my children, they are used to good family food, they never complain nor do their friends, when I tell their mothers that they were a pleasure to have around, the mothers say things like ' Oh, but they are such fussy eaters'.....not in my house they're not.
So to all you mothers/slaves/servants out there... Grow a pair!!!

I like Wellies idea too.
My kids are grown up now but I didn't offer them main meal food choices. When they were at primary school they usually had porridge for breakfast during the week, no choice, though we always had a choice of cereal at weekends and when they were older.

Of course I'd never actually give anyone food which they really couldn't eat: my DH has never eaten many veg as brassicas and spinach actually make him sick (I blame his mother.....) but the kids just ate what was put in front of them for many years. Now one of them says she doesn't like sausages or mince, but as an adult she is perfectly free not to cook them.

My daughter in law lived with us for some years before we sold the family home and in the beginning really only ate chicken, no idea why as her mum is a sensible woman. She did try most of what I cooked and, now she has her own kids, is a great cook eating a much more varied diet.

It is much more difficult when they are teenagers and we had the usual veggie phases and the hassle of people eating at different times, but we did always try to sit down and eat together from the beginning. I think that this is the answer, if the kids see everyone happily eating everything they are far less likely to get faddy.

I have 7-year old twins. I make one meal, and if they don't like it they go hungry. End of story. I obviously don't give them things I know they genuinely hate, but they eat most things, and the vegetable and fruit bowls are always full (and no fruit lasts long in this house!). If they don't want to eat their meal they can have an apple or a carrot. I certainly don't reward them for fussiness - that will just make your life so much more difficult (and expensive).

Are you sure the food issues stem from "like it or lump it", bizzybee1234? Just asking because almost every child used to grow up like that.

In the 70s when I was a child I knew only one kid whose parents pandered at all. Most didn't have the money for second dinner choices. It would have been staggeringly rude to expect mum to cook seperate meals.

The eat the same dinner later, cold and on your own isn't a punishment, but a natural consequence. If someone refuses a perfectly good dinner and then gets hungry, what else am I meant to do? Dinner is still in the pots and others can't be expected to sit through a sulker's delayed meal.

Roast dinner, fajitas, hm pizza, toad in the hole and tomato pasta; that's the meals that I can make for my family of 6. They don't eat all of it but these are the meals that I can make with minimal fuss eg 2 are just plain pasta, 1 with no cheese on the pasta and sauce and then me, DH and DS1 (15) eat the meal in its entirety. I serve baguettes with most meals now so if they don't like it at all they can have bread and then fruit for pudding. That's it though. I also don't give choices anymore except for on shopping day when I am meal planning. I ask each child (4 of them) to give me a meal idea every week so 1/7 meals is something they love!!

Totally agree with you there Greasels. Just make the sandwich/toast without butter, I don't consider that being fussy. It's hardly any bother to make it without.

Update on my lot planning their own meals this week (one they'll all eat, healthyish and under a £5 for the four of them 😊) ...its definitely stopped them whinging about 'whats for dinner ?' ..they know what it is as they chose it and they have to cook it instead of it magically appearing on the table ..it has lost its attraction though and bickering has started in the ranks about who does what !
Last night was a Chilli, pasta and very stuck together rice and half a block of cheese tonight is homemade pizzas and chips...and we're out on Friday
Going to have them plan next weeks too.

Wellies, that sounds brilliant. Are these meals just for them or for you too? Perhaps we should all do that, though at 16 dd has stopped being fussy and just eats what's there. We shop every day for whatever our evening meal is going to be, so we do discuss it first, everyone can make requests/ideas.

Sometimes I just want to make something different, so I do that and they all eat it and maybe make faces, but that's as bad as it gets, really. Suggestions on how to improve a dish are welcomed always.

Its just for them ...my DH is away in the week and I'm trying to lose some weight so I'm on skinny food and later on as they neeeeed to eat at 6pm ish
Can't see it working when they're all back at school and the usual sports/dance/taxi-ing about starts though
I'm going to try the suggestion of baguettes with meals to fill them up and them making the meal definitely stops them being fussy and doing that peering into it muttering 'whats that?..'

Really child the article that says children from large families relates to just 1800 8-11 year old Australian children.

I have seven dc , eldest three are high achievers , the youngest it's too soon to tell.
The uk has an aging population if the birth rate continues to be as low as it is we will have real problems years to come.

Sorry wrong thread!

For breakfast what about a few other options on some mornings that are not cereal e.g bagels or croissants. My son always likes the same breakfast but my daughter likes a change so i always have weetabix orPorridge in then either toast, bagel or croissant. Dinners can be harder my son is fussy and i feel he only likes certain things (chicken, fish, sausages) and won't try new things. But he plays football with a team and the coach has been speaking to them about nutrition so last night he tried turkey steaks and loved them. It was a small thing but meant a lot to me! Good luck i know how stressful and time consuming it is trying to get something everyone will eat but like others have said i think the best plan is to get a few suggestions from the kids on what they like then limit the options and snacks xxxx

Oh I am so glad it's nor just me!!! DD has become more fussy over the years - loved my spar bol, now wouldn't eat if you paid her (but will eat it at a friend's ) She's 14 and I refuse to cook more than one meal so we have that or if she really won't, there are packets of that instant pasta with sauce stuff in the cupboard or things in the freezer. Normally only lasts two days before she stops being an arse and eats with us again.

That said, the only time I have pandered to her demands was after she'd gone a few weeks refusing anything but Pot Noodle as she was convinced she was fat (5'1" and a size 6 ffs), lost so much weight she was fainting in school and anaemic so saw doc who was fantastic, worked out a healthy menu with her (all stuff I'd been trying to get her to eat) so she had steak once a week as a treat if she stuck to it. Still do that if she goes a fortnight / three weeks without whining.

But I'm lucky as there are only the three of us. I'm with the early pp who suggested getting them to plan a week of food OP.

Think you already know from your responses that you've made the problem op!
2 children still at home here (6+8)
Breakfast - choice of 2 cereal or toast - they MUST chose one and eat it.
Lunch - usually at school, weekends/hols is a light snack of my choosing
Dinner - 2 choices, eat it or go hungry.

I know the foods they genuinely don't like and would not make them eat them. Anything they've never tried before must at least be given a fair go before being rejected. They don't have to empty their plates but they must eat a reasonable amount or they get no desert and nothing else till the next meal.
Yes i'm pretty strict but i have neither the budget, time or patience to pander to their awkwardness.

Should have said - I have an adult child too, at 15 I would have told her what we were eating, if she didn't want it she would have to make her own arrangements. At that age she was quite capable of fending for herself.

Pandering to likes and dislikes is a nightmare. I still do to a degree but only if convenient to me. I made a rod for my own back when kids were younger. I am a chef so it's quite simple to prepare multiple meals.......but does take extra effort. I decided I was making too much effort.
DD (21) doesn't live at home any more but ds eats what is put in front of him. Gets choice if available. He's 19. He was a very fussy eater when small up to about 16. My advice is nip this in the bud now. Learn from my mistakes.
I ran around in circles catering to my kids and husband when I was a stay at home mum. They were taking the piss. Give limited options where possible. Otherwise......"okay, sorry you don't like it, I'll not feed this to you again...but this is all there is".........and then feed it to them again much later and say you forgot they didn't like it.....same rules...this is all there is.

Depends...if they are like that because they are fussy buggers, then ordering a take away after they have refused food is buying into the madness.

If they are ASD, or have sensory issues, then that is a whole different matter. There are 4 of us in my house, the adults & 1dd will eat the same meal. 2nd dd has sensory issues, and is awaiting a asd dx, so she will have something different. She has very few meals that she likes, and she gets a choice of those. On occasion she will have what we are having, because she likes it. On all occasions she will be given a bowl of what the rest of us are having, in case she wants to try it. This has helped her to transition to 3 new foods recently.

N one gets a take away unless we are all having one. And if anyone refuses what they are given/given a choice of, they get toast!

I have a faffy food eater. We have 2 or 3 cereals and always have bread, cheese, cold meats and fruit available.

Meals are take it or leave it and I try to ensure 2 meals per week that are faves for each child.

Seriously just cook one meal. No option. If someone does like one item of the meal no problem just leave it but dont offer anything else as a replacement. Eat it or dont. We had that last week with ice cream. We were out and only shop sold a multi pack of choc ices. 5 year old wanted another type of ice cream. Simple said that or nothing. Strangely on realising he really wouldnt get anothing else he took it quickly. Made me think.

Get ingredients in and let them cook their own. At 13 and 15 they are old enough. The 8 year old would need help.

Having just watched 'junior masterchef USA' and seen an 8 year old fillet a salmon almost as big as her he may not need much help.

Meal plan - let them plan it, give them all a day each when they will cook sp dc1 - monday, dc2-Wednesday, dc3-Saturday.

If there is something they don't want then they can make themselves cheese on toast or fruit or something.

My policy is: eat what I've cooked, or it's toast and peanut butter. It works for us..