To talk about benefits?

[TinyTapDancer]

It seems such a sensitive subject around here!

I don't work, well not 'paid' work as such. I am a SAHM, but it's not a luxury as some would describe. But I wanted to describe what I do to give some insight into why do what I do, because I do feel judged, and I do feel guilty...

I have 2 dc's and a dh we have a mortgage. DH works ft. DH's wage is over the tax credits thresh-hold BUT we do get tax credits because both dc's have 'special needs' (hate that term). The boys get DLA and child benefit.

I claim carers allowance, only one lot mind, because that's all I'm allowed to.
Both dc's are in mainstream school full time.
Why don't I work while they are in school?

Well I could, but just now I am so tired, it's exhausting caring for my 2 dc's.
Yes the carers allowance and tax credits cover the earning gap, and I would probably lose that if and when I start earning that, and that's why I feel guilty. I would struggle to find a job in school hours.

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight, that not everyone is a money grabbing benefit cheat.

Was that aimed at me then fanjo? So who should be judge and jury? or should we just let anyone have whatever they like if they can't be bothered? If we took that minority out of the equation then there would hopefully be more for those who have a genuine need. I've already said, I have no idea whether the OP should be claiming or not, I don't know her circumstances, if she genuinely can't work then she has nothing to feel guilty about claiming and I as a taxpayer have no problem with that.

I think she has sparked of a bit of ill feeling with her reasoning being that she is tired. Everyone is tired. I'm sure there is more to it than that, but saying you are tired or stressed is no reason not to be working, most people who work are tired and stressed. I am sure many people who don't work and don't claim are also tired and stressed. I'm sure there must be some people who aren't tired and stressed, I don't know any of them regardless of whether they work/don't work, claim/don't claim.

Aimed at anyone who has done that

Getting dla for a child isn't based on the child's diagnosis it is based on the extra care they need. To receive carers you need at at least middle rate dla which means the child will need considerably more care than a child of the same age usually needs. You can safely say that the op's child needs a lot more care than a 'normal' child.

Exactly honking.

And it's often not just the care as in the physical help the child needs but the time and energy needed to fight the system to get what is needed, to fill in countless forms, to attend constant appointments etc etc

Of course the dla side doesn't take those things into account. But in real life the tiredness and stress are often due to that side

My 14 yo has ASD and MLD.

I was lucky to get a job in the primary school my other children attended which is close to his special school.

Then the academy chain treated me like shit so I left.

I keep being asked when I'm going to get another job, and if I'm still a lady of leisure.

Except it's not so easy. I now claim Carer's Allowance for DS, he's always got DLA. I need to drop him off and pick him up from school. I need to care for him in the holidays. He's 14 years old - there is no child care for 14 year olds round here, because most 14 yo can take care of themselves. He can't. So it's not so easy to just walk into another job where I can do drop off and pick up as most school jobs start and finish at the same time (I was lucky the old head let me start later so I could do drop off)

Of course I'm just sitting on my arse all day.

It takes me 4/5 hrs to collect all the documents and fill in the massive form for my daughters dla. She needs a lot more help than any of my other children, her speech and language skills they have assessed at 5yrs she is 10..11 in Dec. Her other skills all about the same apart from patterns and logic which are off the scale at 14yrs. She can't retain information so needs constant reminding of things and forgets about road safety etc..it's not easy.
But there are people abusing the system whether we like it or not. I have my own health issues for why I can not work atm..I. have arthritis in my hands, hip knee and ankle pain and on painkillers that I dare not take during the day as they knock me out.
There are people out there who can work but choose not to because money is handed to them freely, a guy that lives near me claims he can't work because he has dyslexia..well so does my dp and my x but they both work. He is a drunk and is always on the street shouting at his wife and other neighbours who complain about his children who are unruly.

Yes, some people claim benefits fraudulently, or skirt round the edges of the system. Some self employed people put loads of receipts through as expenses to avoid paying a bit of tax. Some people donate money to political parties to buy knighthoods.

People are cheating the system all over the place.

I would welcome any genuine efforts by the government to provide a better welfare system that doesn't leave vulnerable families even more out of pocket. But that's generally not what's offered, as evidenced by George Osbourne's u-turned plans on tax credits cuts. It seems to be all about the price tag when the reality is so much more complicated than that.

Benefit fraud is an issue, but blaming and punishing genuine claimants because some people are able to cheat the system or turn to crime to turn their benefits into enough to live on isn't the answer to that problem.

I used to think I had to justify my situation, which is similar to OP, except I am a lone parent so no support at all and one of my children can't be in school so I am with him 24/7. After reading constant threads like this with the ever present unpleasantness and under current of viciousness towards those claiming benefits I just stopped caring what anyone thought. It's easier that way. I don't ever discuss my situation in RL anymore and it's not because I feel embarrassed about but because many people are stupid, want to think the worst and just Will Not Get It because they don't want to. I saved up half of my carers allowance per month for six months and bought myself a luxury item. I had a certain family member unable to disguise their bitterness towards me over it. Seemingly although my carers allowance is my wage for work done, there were certain ways I should be spending it and definitely not saving it to buy an item they felt they couldn't afford - they could, they just prioritise other things.

Fwiw the only benefit "scammer" I know was forced to do it by her abusive husband who bullied her into it and kept her short despite him earning a very decent wage. This is common by the way, look at the women's aid pages.

If the government would deal properly to close loopholes and deal with tax fraud and unfair tax avoidance schemes then the country would save more money that it would if all the benefit cheating was eliminated. I'm not saying we shouldn't deal with benefit fraud, but there is a wider context. I think the think that causes more issues with benefit fraud is that it feels visible and creates a feeling of unfairness and resentment which eats away at our society.

People get more angry about benefit cheating than they do about the well off cheating tax.

I imagine it must be pretty exhausting looking after your DCs and if you are entitled to the benefits then have them while you can.

I claim tax credits and all my kids are NT, so no DLA or carers allowance.

You don't have to justify to anyone why you claim it, just as I don't.

In general, I think any thread touching on benefits is a bad idea, because you get the sanctimonious crew on saying YABU to claim because, or YABU to be annoyed that so and so claims because.

Just stay away from them and you'll feel much better!

"People get more angry about benefit cheating than they do about the well off cheating tax."

YY and tax avoidance and evasion cost the taxpayers a lot more than benefit fraud does.