To talk about benefits?

[TinyTapDancer]

It seems such a sensitive subject around here!

I don't work, well not 'paid' work as such. I am a SAHM, but it's not a luxury as some would describe. But I wanted to describe what I do to give some insight into why do what I do, because I do feel judged, and I do feel guilty...

I have 2 dc's and a dh we have a mortgage. DH works ft. DH's wage is over the tax credits thresh-hold BUT we do get tax credits because both dc's have 'special needs' (hate that term). The boys get DLA and child benefit.

I claim carers allowance, only one lot mind, because that's all I'm allowed to.
Both dc's are in mainstream school full time.
Why don't I work while they are in school?

Well I could, but just now I am so tired, it's exhausting caring for my 2 dc's.
Yes the carers allowance and tax credits cover the earning gap, and I would probably lose that if and when I start earning that, and that's why I feel guilty. I would struggle to find a job in school hours.

Anyway, I just wanted to highlight, that not everyone is a money grabbing benefit cheat.

I've recently become a sahm. Up until recently I was the breadwinner, my dp was a sahf due to medical issues I've handed in my notice and my dp now has fulltime work.
The kids say they absolutely love having me at home.
I am also getting carers allowance and dla for my youngest who has complex learning difficulties. I am home schooling 2 children and we do still get a small amount of tax credits and housing benefit.
I have 4 children in total and I have worked for the majority of there life. Main thing is the kids are cared for and happy and tbh OP I wouldn't care what others think because the only thing that matters is your family. I can now no longer work, my hips have all but given up on me I also have knee and ankle problems. I am going to go back to college to do a business course and I'm looking to starting my own business with the help of my eldest 2 children 17 and 14.

In fact people on benefits contribute more to the economy pro rata as all their money goes back into the local economy...

I also think that those who don't have children with additional needs sometimes don't really understand the struggle. My daughter has severe dyslexia, auditory processing disorder, dyspraxia, struggles to retain information has very poor short term memory and often gets very anxious in new situations. She wakes most nights upset with night terrors because her imagination runs wild whilst she sleeps. This can take an hr each time to settle her. She is 10. The 62.10 I get per week doesn't even begin to cover the amount of time I spend chasing her around making sure she's got everything and keeping her on track.

That makes no sense really Ada . The better of are usually paying larger amounts of tax as they are earning and spending more overall and are buying more goods and services that attract VAT or tax. A lot of the purchases made by people on low incomes or benefits will be on zero rated stuff such as food and children's clothes. I appreciate that doesn't apply across the board. Also, there will obviously be some that are buying fags and booze and therefore paying a lot of duty - if they are buying them legit - those will be the minority.

yes but a lot of the goods and services the better off buy, are eg skiing holidays, overseas beach holidays and so on, with the UK not seeing a penny.
You sound like a reasonable person Wankers, and I agree with the some of the points you are making.

I known many on benefits and they also do buy expensive items. Large Tvs expensive phones for kids etc. They spend more than I do on their kids at Xmas..most of them getting into debt and buying from bright house. I choose to save and pay for stuff and not have a debt for Xmas.

oh right so the thread has now officially degenerated into serious benefits bashing...what a surprise..
Did they all have wide screen tellies Bit Cat?

I also know a lot who are work shy and simply do not want to work. There is a distinct difference between not being able to work and not wanting to. I live in an area where many have 6/7 children neither parent works. The kids run a muck..they are never at school on time. These are the people who give people like myself and the OP a bad name. It's time they sorted it out.

personally I wouldnt choose to live in such an area, but each to their own....

Most of them round here do ada. But I do also appreciate that isn't the case everywhere. And I don't tar everyone with the same brush. I take people as I find them.

I didn't choose to. I split with my kids dad and ended up having to find a home very quickly but I have done a lot of work on the house and garden and the children are settled so I won't move now till I need to downsize which won't be until my second eldest moves out. The house is huge..just the area let's it down unfortunately but we tend to keep ourselves to ourselves.

The holidays they buy will be paid for to UK travel agents mostly, the majority of the cost of a holiday tends to be the flight - ity on that too. I agree, I'm not trying to argue with anyone, People that need help should get it, I just think that there are people whose definition of need could perhaps do with a reality check.

I come from a very poor background when benefits weren't really such a big thing. We went hungry and cold quite a lot. My parents both worked. We lived in overcrowded accommodation. I never knew I was poor until I was older as the majority of people I knew were exactly the same. My dad died age 67, 2 years into retirement, he'd worked all his life mainly night shifts so my mum could work days and he's be around for us kids. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone. But, they raised 7 children who have (with the exception of CB) never received or claimed benefits and now there are adult grandchildren who are the same. We consider ourselves fortunate to not need help. I'd like to think it would be there if or when we needed it. I've been redundant twice and could have claimed between jobs but didn't. DH could have claimed for a while too when between jobs but we chose not to as we had savings to cover it.

I don't have a problem with people being given a decent amount to live on when they genuinely need it.

It would take a lot of money to move also. It's money we don't have.

" he holidays they buy will be paid for to UK travel agents mostly,"
hardly anyone uses a travel agent these days, they book direct. Just saying..as you really do not sound like the kind of person I should be arguing with...
You see my point though?
The only person I know who relies on benefits has one of those dreadful old massive box TVs and he counts out the teabags....

I meant on-line travel agents - most people I know still do that - we are not in the uber rich skiing set :)

It's the same polarisation as you get when talking about immigrants, everyone knows one who has been given a 7 bed furnished house in an affluent area and gets weekly deliveries of cavier and free sky tv to watch on their 50 inch cinema screen.

The average reality of the people I meet is that they are Polish, both working, living in a one bed flat with 2 kids, no car so bus and cycle everywhere, no tv, shop in charity shops and are delighted to be given the chance to do so. Being honest I'd swap some of my fellow countrymen for then in a heartbeat.

Wankers I agree. I'm the same I'm not opposed to people claiming what they need. I think the problem is when people think believe they don't have to work and believe they are entitled. It's not a lifestyle choice it's meant to help those who need it.
Like the OP and myself.

I'm on benefits and my telly is huuuuuuuuuuuuge

And yes, I do see your point. It's shite being poor and hard to get out of, the better off can shop about for good deals, have interest free credit cards etc. If you are poor and your fridge breaks down then you are probably paying massive interest on a new one from the likes of brighthouse. You may see one 2nd hand, but you have no transport, no-one to help carry it up 3 flights of stairs etc. You can't get cheap energy deals as you need a key meter. You end up shopping locally as you have no transport and don't get good deals.

There are obviously as always exceptions and you see them every day, standing outside Tesco having a fag while waiting on a taxi. I strangely don't disagree with people spending benefits on a night at the bing or pub as long as the kids are fed and looked after. people are social beings and need to have outlets for emotional and mental health. But there's a difference between that and spending every night getting rat arsed.

Wankers 👍

IcedVanilla thats

Wankers im sorry that your dad isnt alive to spend time with his granchildren. Maybe he would be now if his life hadnt been so hard.
What i cant understand is why you would wish that on anyone else.

Have you been inside a lot of the flats near where you live because you seem to know a lot about whats inside them.

I can't imagine how tough it can be in terms of the various disabilities and needs. But so called 'normal' children can bring their own challenges:

DD1 has bowel issues which cause us various hospital visits/sick days etc. DD2 still wakes up in the night. She's 10 now, I don't think it's going to change (I was the same!)
I do a full day at work then there's an hour's homework with each of them, then the various other stuff that all kids have.
The OP has elaborated far more as to why she chooses to not work currently. Her first comment was 'because I'm so tired' which as a mum of two, with a copper husband who is barely around struck a bum note in me. I've worked with adults and children with severe ASD diagnosis, and Lord it is hard. I've worked with kids with High functioning autism and tbh some of them seem no different to my anxious, food intolerant and stubbornly individual eldest. Disabled can cover a raft of things and isn't a one size fits all. I've just changed jobs and taken a huge pay drop to help us cope with the nature of DDs bowel issues, it's not called SN though.
Absolutely can't and would prefer not to are two different things.

My dh works f.t, I part time normally 16-20 hours, we get tax credits. We used to get dla for my deaf son but it was stopped. Our rent is cheap but travel costs to work are more than if we were living closer to work and paying private rent. Every month after rent, council tax, water, tv license come out on the first we are overdrawn and then I have to scrape money for the other bills that come out. We don't have money left for treats took my boys to the cinema last week but couldn't really afford it. Council inform us we have to much money coming in to get housing benefit. I disagree

Helena Don't you fucking dare express sympathy for my Dad's death and then slag me off in the same fucking post!

When have I said that I want people to live in poverty or that I know what they have in their flats.?

People who need benefits have nothing to feel guilty about, people who are claiming when they could be helping themselves should be ashamed of themselves.

Being judge and jury on who you feel is entitled to benefits and what they can spend it on is horrible.

People will do what is best for their family. If they are not better off working in the only kind of jobs they can get, then they won't take them.
Why should poor people not behave rationally?