AIBU to think parents at beach were unreasonable??

[gracieben6]

Currently on holiday in France - went to the beach today with dh and my kids. DD1 (14), DS1 (10), DD2 & DD3 (twins both 7), DS2 (4) and DD4 (1).
DD1 wore a bikini, DS1 wore Bermuda shorts, DD2 & DD3 wore tankinis, DS2 and DD4 wore uv suits. We were topping the kids up with sun cream all day. A Family with 2 kids aged about 13 and 10 and both wearing full uv suits and hats came and sat near us. Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits. I said that they prefer to wear normal swimsuits and I am fine with what they wear. She proceeded to tell me I'm a bad mum for only having 2 of my kids in uv suits and that I didn't care about the ones not wearing uv suits!!! She lectured me about uv Rays even though I was topping the kids up with sun cream !! Aibu to think she was totally out of line?!?

Here in Spain I'm just laughing at the thought of a 10-14 yr old in a UV suit!!!! They would rather lock themselves at home. A rash vest, yes , but only for surfing. Admittedly they don't have the pale skin like British kids do, but really if you put on good quality sun cream and most importantly, stay out of the sun between 12 and 5, no embarrassing UV suits for teenagers needed. But I can certainly imagine the conversation happening.

I have never seen a 14 year old in a UV suit, but, most that I see wear the rash tops and wear them most of the time on the beach, not just surfing. I am in Australia though and they are much more sun safe here in general. My children learn about sun safety in school.

Any sort of tan is UV damage- it's not just sunburn that you need to avoid.

Some strangers do think it's their business to interfere. One Christmas mum & I took my 2 DS to see Santa. While waiting for our slot we were walking around trying to occupy them "Ooooh look at the lights, look at the toys," etc. DS1 was 5 DS2 was 4. They were running away, not listening, the usual. I took DS1 to one side and got down on my knees to explain how he must not mess about in busy shops etc as he might get lost. A woman came up to me and rather snottily said "How dare you shout at your child! You are upsetting my kids," who looked around 16 & 17. I saw red and went mad at her and I mean MAD! I can't even remember what I said but everyone stopped and stared and needless to say she walked away.

My kids have never worn UV suits but always plenty of sunscreen, regularly applied, t-shirts if necessary and take care about how long we stay out there. Guess who the only one is that got burned one year (just a patch which she'd missed with the sunscreen)? The 19-year old.

my 6 year old moaned a lot this year about wearing her suit this year on holiday in Cyprus, as the other kids weren't (locals) I compromised by getting her suits that are 3 piece and also have a matching bikini and had her wear the top and a hat during the hottest part of the day (it was however hitting 45c wouldn't have enforced it at all at 25c, suncream is fine for that unless particularly fair) after all we do need to stockpile some vitamin D to last til next summer holiday
It always baffles me seeing kids running about in them on a cloudy Scottish beach though, I mean we do need a degree of sun exposure and even worse in indoor swimming pools... Imagine how cold and unpleasant it must be having all that damp fabric clinging to your skin
Op I wouldn't advise the t shirts as it may lead to being complacent about cream and you can burn right through them anyway! If they are not even slightly pink yet then cream is fine!

sally valid in that uv suits offer better protection than just sun lotion, the OP thought so for her two youngest so why not the older children and in particular the 7yo and the 10yo.

ruthio on cloudy days on a Scottish beach when it's likely to be cooler, the water is unlikely to have children in up to their necks as it would be too cold and as such the uv suits would be warmer for playing on a cold beach than just a swimming costume as well as being good for paddling and getting splashed as they are not heavy when wet and dry out quickly, unlike cotton shorts and t shirts. Maybe that's the reason why.

" I saw red and went mad at her and I mean MAD! I can't even remember what I said but everyone stopped and stared and needless to say she walked away."
What a fantastic example that must have been to your children...........

BertrandRussell...its also good for kids to see there parents sticking up for themselves and not being walked all over !!!

Tanned skin is damaged skin, and raises skin cancer risk in later life. Cover em up or repeated sun ream fgs.

Yes bertrandrussell - I am sure there are hundreds of children in the world who have never seen a parent shout and yell 😂. My children are now 9 & 10 and I can assure you they have not been damaged by my outburst 5 yrs ago, neither do they have bouts of rage themselves due to witnessing my temper tantrum. What they do see though are other adults swearing while we are in the supermarket or playing in the park or on the beach of which I have no control over.

Risking rickets???!!! WTAF?! Read the research and guidance.

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Summerhealth/Pages/vitamin-D-sunlight.aspx

As someone who burns in the dark (2nd degree burns to my legs and back on a cloudy day in the Caribbean through factor 50), I do wear a UV top to the beach, as does my 2.5 DD, and worry about the children who are allowed to go a mahogany colour. It's not just sunburn that leads to cancer.

HOWEVER, I would never comment on someone else's parenting choice because that is incredibly rude.

You were making sure your children stayed sun creamed up so it's really none of her concern and she wbu to comment.

Fair enough. I'd just think it would be better not to lose control and shriek at a total stranger over something trivial. But each to their own, I suppose.......

I bet in a few more years we will be told of the horrors of sun cream and how bad all those chemicals are on young skin. Cover up and don't be out in the full sun of the midday period. Some sunshine is good for us and the vitamin d is essential but avoid the burn

My DS (4) refuses to wear a sun suit - it's a horrible struggle for both of us to get him to it, and then he screams and tries to rip it off. Now he usually runs about with just his hat and pants on, plus sunscreen. While no-one has ever actually said anything; I've had a few 'looks' from other mothers whose children are wearing the darned things. We never stay on the beach for more than a couple of hours max, anyway. Also curious as to how they persuaded a 'tween' to wear one - I can just imagine the look my sister would get if she suggested that to my niece!

her dd (I think 13) looked embarrassed to be in a uv suit
Sounds like you are projecting there. Why should she feel embarrased about wearing UV clothing?
There are times I wear it as an adult. So much better than getting burned.
I have teenage boys and a husband who will happily wear them.

Only some of the uv suits protect when wet anyway so your better off a lot of the time with waterproof suncream.
Bollocks. UV clothing offers far more protection than any suncream. Suncream cannot be waterproof, the best it can offer is water resistant. I think you are getting confused with wearing non UV clothing like a t-shirt, which (depending on the fabric) can offer as low as SPF3 when wet.

And repeated application of suncream has a limited amount of protection. You can't stay out in the sun all day just by reapplying cream without getting some degree of sun damage. UV clothing will protect for far longer.

They look hot and uncomfortable, are they?
No they're not, far from it in fact. They are not wetsuits, it's a thin, soft and comfortable fabric.
Plus, if they're short sleeved and short legged, what's the point in them?
Because they protect the most vulnerable parts of the body, particularly the back and shoulders.
And there is a limited amount of protection that any suncream can ever offer.

Mommawoo you can't compare the children from Greece because they genetically have more melanin in the skin to protect them. Look at Australia whose genetic background is British and you will see they had an extremely high rate of skin cancer until they addressed sun protection with a massive public awareness campaign.

How was I harmed by not having one as a child?
Damage doesn't become apparent until adulthood. Adults in this country die from skin cancer as a direct reuslt of being sunburnt or tanned as a child.

It's not difficult to protect children from ricketts and sun damage at the same time. Give them plenty of time outside in the morning and early evening with minimal sun protection, but ensure maximum protection is provided when the UV levels are high.

Lorelei: try a rash vest and board shorts rather than a uv suit (you can buy small rash vests in supermarkets; no need to go anywhere fancy). Your 4 year old presumably has no issue wearing shorts and a tshirt.

Need your post is excellent, however you are shouting in the wind as far as some other posters are concerned. Their main point is not being told what to do, even when there's a validity to it (mainly, avoiding burning and skin cancer in their children who don't get a choice in the matter) and also being convinced that suncream alone (again, like you said it's water resistant NOT waterproof - big difference) is absolutely fine, on a beach in the Med in the middle of summer/hot sun temperatures.

step good idea, he will see it just like a t-shirt. He has ASD and I think it's the all-in-one thing he doesn't like.

Also, I find rash vests (on everyone) much, much easier than trying to ensure everyone has every square inch of themselves slathered in sun cream repeatedly all bloody day long. It's so much easier to pull on your rash vest when you're going in the pool. (Obviously you still need to cover the exposed parts of you in cream but no worrying about backs and shoulders and stomachs).

We tend to take the rash vests off when we are sitting (in the shade) by the pool but all of us put our rash vests on if we're going in the pool. There are some really nice rash vests.

Lorelei: neither of mine were ever keen on all in one suits (with no ASD issues). And it's much easier to go to the toilet in a rash vest and shorts too.

Mine at 12 and 8 always wear rash vests and board shorts, have never done uv suit things as they look a pain to pee in. It means massively less sun cream needed and tbh in the UK as we stay out of the sun between 11-3 forearms and lower limbs don't really need any at all (heads have hats on).

Fwiw I hate the fecking sun and will always have a thin tee shirt or shirt on when on then beach, I have never ever burn't through it.

I wouldn't dream of telling a stranger to cover their kids up though I will obviously silently judge though with burn't half naked kids running around because it seems like insanity.

We all know risks re sun just as we do with too much sugar, salt, too much screen time, etc, etc.

Unless someone's child is immediate danger of death it's not my place to comment

I hate the sort of parents who want to give a wholesome childhood. It's not everyone's choice and some of us want to make minor pecadillos