AIBU to think parents at beach were unreasonable??

[gracieben6]

Currently on holiday in France - went to the beach today with dh and my kids. DD1 (14), DS1 (10), DD2 & DD3 (twins both 7), DS2 (4) and DD4 (1).
DD1 wore a bikini, DS1 wore Bermuda shorts, DD2 & DD3 wore tankinis, DS2 and DD4 wore uv suits. We were topping the kids up with sun cream all day. A Family with 2 kids aged about 13 and 10 and both wearing full uv suits and hats came and sat near us. Mother comes up to me and asks why my 4 of my kids are not in uv suits. I said that they prefer to wear normal swimsuits and I am fine with what they wear. She proceeded to tell me I'm a bad mum for only having 2 of my kids in uv suits and that I didn't care about the ones not wearing uv suits!!! She lectured me about uv Rays even though I was topping the kids up with sun cream !! Aibu to think she was totally out of line?!?

I've grown up near the sea (south coast) and never even heard the term rash vest until my 20s. When I Google I assumed it was what surfers wore to keep warm in the sea!

My family have a selection of swimsuits (we swim in the pool) which we take outside to the beach and haven't really thought of anything different.

Is it when you buy "holiday clothes?" rather than live by the beach. Or more surfy area?

Unless someone's child is immediate danger of death it's not my place to comment
Like if a child was smoking, they wouldn't be in immediate danger of death.

I don't think people should be rude to strangers, but the link between sun exposure and skin cancer decades later is crystal clear - just like smoking and lung cancer. And skin cancer can be hard to beat.

Surely, even if a child was smoking, the parents would be aware of the dangers and the child, perhaps having had that conversation already? Or maybe they just don't care?

Either way, what makes a third party feel they have the power to turn it all

Around

gandalf I don't agree with being rude, but sometimes in life someone says something to you which makes you stop and think. If it's an important issue then I think that is justifiable (raising it, not being rude about it though).

It does seem to be parents though. People rarely commented to me pre children. It's almost as if you become public property

I was constantly being reminded about sun screening my redheads in Florida- usually by grandmotherly types. Ironically, I was also often warned about the cold in Spain by grandmotherly types in fur coats when my children were playing on the beach!

I don't know why people get so worked up about it. Lots of people get things like sunscreen wrong when they are in hotter places than they are used to- you only have to look at the awful cases of sunburn at the airport on the way home to know that. "Thank you-yes I will remember" and a smile. Sorted.

Everyone has their own opinions on what's the best way to sun protect, but I don't agree on telling a parent how to protect their kids from the sun in the beach. That's way out of order. She had no idea how much sun screen your kids are wearing or how sensitive their skin is. Bloody busy body.

Yanbu, what a rude woman! It's no ones business to interfere with how others dress their kids In public spaces, no matter what. Also, I think the craze for avoiding sun has gone a bit far. Using sunscreen is fine. I think as long as you make sure your kids don't burn then they should be allowed to feel the sun and sand on their skin! Poor children of hers living such an overprotective life. Haha, this woman would be so busts folding people of she ever ventured outside Europe, where in many countries no one, not even children, wear sunscreen, let alone UV suits.

We lived in north spain (where people are generally fairer than the south) for 10 years, our children were the only ones with uv suits on that we ever saw and they are darker skinned than some of be Spanish kids. They only wore them until they were about 2, then normal swim suits. Everyone has to be careful in the sun, as long as you go in the morning or late afternoon/early evening and use sun screen its fine. That woman was being ridiculous in would have told her to shut up!

I have no idea what a rash vest is and will have to Google.

My dc are 2 and 4 and very fair. They wear uv suits if out in v sunny weather. They are both very fair and I am cautious with exposure. The 4 yo got sunstroke this June and she was only out from 5 to 7 PM. This was in Devon. She had no sun damage (tan or burn) but was lethargic, had a rash and was vomiting the next morning. So I need to be even more cautious really.

Regardless of whether kids should have been wearing UV suits (wtf, I've never even heard of these??), or wearing sun lotion or whatever , it's absolutely none of her (or anyone else's) business.

I would have answered her first question with something along the lines of 'it's none of your business you cheeky cow now piss off and leave me alone'c

But then I have a particular hatred of busybodies!

My boys (3) wear high factor sun cream which is regularly reapplied and some shorts...
This whole culture of 'rash vests' and 'UV suits (just googled them) is absolutely fucking ridiculous .

For gods sake some people are just determined to sap all the joy out of life aren't they?!

maninawomansworld01,
Totally agree with you, however I would not be as polite as you if this woman had said this comment to me regarding my 6 year old.

mania, you're right. I do enjoy sapping the joy out of my DD's life by protecting her from the sun.

Alternatively, I am making it possible for her to enjoy the beach without suffering serious burns that evening and the next day.

Again, alternatively, I am making it possible for her to enjoy a long and happy life where she doesn't suffer from skin cancer as a result of me not "sapping the joy" out of the beach.

I love sapping the joy out of things too .

I'm not convinced that insisting he children regularly stand still while you ensure that every visible inch of them is covered in sun cream is more joyful than just getting them to put on what is essentially a tshirt.

stepaway, don't forget rubbing them dry and making them wait 10 minutes for it to soak in before they go back in the water.

My boys are 2 and nearly 5, and wear UV suits, plus factor 40. We live in the U.S., and it's been 95 degrees solid for about six weeks. I swim daily with the children, plus they've been in camp some mornings, where teachers are not allowed to apply sunscreen, which is why I think rash guards are so popular here. All small children wear them.

When we go to France in a couple of weeks, they will also wear them. The youngest is incredibly painful, and it's much more low maintenance. I wear one, too, sometimes, and sometimes go with a bikini. Some days I skip sunscreen on their arms, so they do get sufficient Vitamin D. If we lived in the UK, I'm sure I'd just use sunscreen, as it rarely gets over 75.

Incredibly pale youngest!

PS I've never seen a "suit"; all of our sun protection clothing is a rash guard and board shorts.

How is wearing UV clothing sapping the joy out of things?
It's comfortable, funky clothing that is safer and offers better protection than suncream. It saves a fortune in suncream and saves time in reapplication.

A rash vest is the same as a UV top. It was originally designed to be worn under wetsuits to prevent the zips and seams causing a rash.
You don't need a full body suit, a short sleeve top will provide excellent protection for the most vulnerable parts of the body.

I remember people using oil to go more brown in the 70s. Of course, the ozone layer is weaker now and we have more knowledge of the damage the sun can do so people are right to be cautious but paranoid, no, and certainly not on a complete stranger's behalf

We have just returned from a week in France. We had use of a pool every day. My children both wore rash vests there and at the outdoor lake we went to a couple of times.
My reasons?
Both have an ASC and applying sunscreen is a ducking nightmare of screeching and screaming and not actually being able to suck it up and accept it may be sticky and horrible but it will prevent a worse issue later. They can tolerate arms and legs being sunscreened - just.
Both a re fair skinned and burn in about thirty seconds.
I am a lazy mare.
We are all sunshine averse in this family and I have trained them to seek out shade at all times.
I wear one as does my DH as I have no intention of burning.
I care not if people think I am over the top.
Both of my children have asked for rash t shirts as they don't want sunburn but want to be in the water all day.
I got ours from Sainsburys (DD) and Amazon (DS, DH and me). They were not expensive.

We are pretty pale, I have been sunburnt in half an hour on a sunny March day in the UK. I have vitiligo which means that I have patches of skin without any pigment at all. This means that I am actually less at risk of cancer (on those patches) but burn like crazy. So, I tend to wear a rashie and board shorts myself at the beach and DD1 (10) does the same. I kept DD2 (1) out of the sun altogether last year but will pop her in a uv jobbie this year at the beach. I agree that it's much easier than mucking about with sun cream and you are less likely to miss a bit.

Not being that confrontational myself, I wouldn't go up to someone else at the beach and challenge them, I would just judge them....silently....and then make loud voice comments to DD in a self-congratulatory way...

Why would you do that, cuckoo? I have been on the receiving end of that - not for sunscreen etc - but when DS was kicking off in a shoe shop. It was really unpleasant and totally ruined my day. I have pretty awful self-esteem anyway with regards to how I bring up my children so it takes very little to set me off and is not great for the children, either. How would you feel if you'd made someone else feel like that?

Surely, if someone's using suncream as opposed to vests, it's just a different way of doing things. It's not negligent unless they're not using any protection at all.