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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Double standards on mumsnet

59 replies

newshoes68 · 29/07/2016 06:56

It's wrong and illegal to leave a dog in the car , but it's ok to leave your kids in the car while you go shopping .
It's unacceptable to take photos of neglected kids, but it ok to report neglect if you show empathy.
No wonder there are laws for dogs in car, seat belt for kids, no smoking in cars.
Society is sending out confusing messages .

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 29/07/2016 07:07

Er, not sure how to break it to you, but you are aware that more than one person uses Mumsnet and they may actually have different opinions?

Dontyoulovecalpol · 29/07/2016 07:09

MN isn't society, it's an Internet forum. Lots of people use it and they all have different opinions. People like to fit in so only tend to pile in with their opinions on the threads which are already agreeing with their view.

TanteRose · 29/07/2016 07:11

its not illegal to leave a dog in a car, though?
if it dies due to the heat, then you can be charged with animal neglect, with is against the law...

It's unacceptable to take photos of neglected kids, but it ok to report neglect if you show empathy.
no idea what you mean here...Confused

TanteRose · 29/07/2016 07:12

*which is against the law

AuntieStella · 29/07/2016 07:14

Yes, it's a case of different MNetters have different views.

Dogs cannot assist themselves if left in the car in the heat. DC can do (depending on age). Also the purpose and typical length of time might vary. And I've seen some very vehement posts about not leaving your DC even to go to pay for petrol.

There is usually support for not photographing other people's DC (even in public where it is perfectly legal) on the grounds of it being an invasion of privacy. And threads on whether or not to report circumstances that have led someone to be concerned about unrelated DC often show the variety of views that different MNetters hold. Some think that reporting is right every time, others think you may have seen an unrepresentative snapshot. And some offer different suggestions on different threads depending on what is actually in the opening post.

Pardonwhat · 29/07/2016 07:16

It's all about the circumstances though, can't you see that?
Obviously a dog or a child in a baking hot car is entirely different to one in normal temperatures.

NorksAreMessy · 29/07/2016 07:39

Also, there is never a unanimous 'verdict' in AIBU, lots of people...lots of opinions.

Although, actually, this one might become unanimous. YABU

mollie123 · 29/07/2016 07:42

dogs in hot cars are unable to cool down and rapidly overheat - we humans can 'perspire'
sorry a bit off-topic

itsatrap · 29/07/2016 07:48

Haha newshoes I was just thinking the exact same thing!

PaulDacreCuntyMcCuntFace · 29/07/2016 07:50

You know that Mumsnet doesn't have the final say on what happens in society, don't you?!

Dogs can be left in cars, but it's about using common sense. You don't leave them for extended periods of time and you don't take them in the car when it's warm.

There's a difference between taking a photograph of a child and reporting neglect, so I don't see what the issue is here?

cexuwaleozbu · 29/07/2016 07:53

From a newspaper article (mnhq doesn't seem to publish stats like this) from 2013: Today, the site has 4.3 million unique users a month, posting upwards of 35,000 messages a day

I think total agreement on any topic is probably very rare. Except that YABU - we can be unanimous on that.

DonkeyOaty · 29/07/2016 08:05

TAAT by the looks of things

OP you need to challenge on the thread in question

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/07/2016 08:08

There's always double standards on Mumsnet on any given day.

People might agree wholeheartedly on one subject then another poster using a different description but on the same topic might get hammered.

PacificDogwod · 29/07/2016 08:17

No doubt there are double standards on MN (just like in RL! Wink), but those examples quoted? Meh.

I know the threads you are referring to and those and similar ones are just too situation specific.
I always find it funny when debate become very very heated about something that is almost impossible to comment accurately because none of us were actually there Grin

SeaEagleFeather · 29/07/2016 08:20

I hate the way that AIBU tears down posters all the time. Doesn't matter what the OP posts, some people will try to put the boot in.

Also Society is sending out confusing messages society and Mumsnet are not quite the same thing. One is a very small subset of the other!

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 29/07/2016 08:21

It's unacceptable to take photos of neglected kids, but it ok to report neglect if you show empathy

I don't understand this at all. What have these two things to do with one another? Confused

MrsDeVere · 29/07/2016 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/07/2016 08:45

TAAT. Actually, about a couple of threads. OP, you do realise that situations being a bit similar doesn't make them the same? So people can take different opinions on different threads.

For example, a baby being left in a warm car for over 20 minutes during the heat of the afternoon is very different to a one year old and three year old being left for seven minutes in the cool, before 8am temperatures.

splendide · 29/07/2016 08:48

I've only seen one of the threads - are they both in AIBU?

Amelie10 · 29/07/2016 09:05

Op mn is just a tiny little forum and in no way representative of society.

newshoes68 · 29/07/2016 10:43

In my book it's not ok to leave
dogs in cars,
babies or kids unattended in cars or at home.
Leaving a 12 year old in charge of a baby at home while the mother shops ,
leaving a friends little ones at home wihiile they Get McDonalds
Am I old fashioned ??

OP posts:
SeaEagleFeather · 29/07/2016 11:45

You wouldn't leave a dog in a car? ever?

We leave our 8 yo at home sometimes, but he knows not to open the door to strangers and we only leave him when one of the neighbours is around and he can go to them if he's worried about anything. We can trust him for some things and not others, but he's very sensible in this area.

SoupDragon · 29/07/2016 12:37

I would leave my dog in a car but no way would I leave an 8 yr old home alone.

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 12:45

Er, not sure how to break it to you, but you are aware that more than one person uses Mumsnet and they may actually have different opinions?

Yes, this.

And you have opinions, good for you. Why should anyone else care what you think though?

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 12:46

babies or kids unattended in cars or at home

What age til? And what does unattended mean?

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