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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Double standards on mumsnet

59 replies

newshoes68 · 29/07/2016 06:56

It's wrong and illegal to leave a dog in the car , but it's ok to leave your kids in the car while you go shopping .
It's unacceptable to take photos of neglected kids, but it ok to report neglect if you show empathy.
No wonder there are laws for dogs in car, seat belt for kids, no smoking in cars.
Society is sending out confusing messages .

OP posts:
bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 12:46

babies or kids unattended in cars or at home

What age till? And what does unattended mean?

SeaEagleFeather · 29/07/2016 12:53

It's for a max of 30 mins, not longer, and a neighbour is always aware if we're gone. He also knows how to use the phone ofc.

MadamDeathstare · 29/07/2016 12:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedAnotherGlass · 29/07/2016 13:18

You are failing to take into consideration any individual circumstances.
It's going to be pretty rare that situations are that black and white.

splendide · 29/07/2016 13:19

Leaving a 12 year old in charge of a baby at home while the mother shops ,
leaving a friends little ones at home wihiile they Get McDonalds
Am I old fashioned ??

No not at all - you are the opposite of old fashioned. It was much more acceptable to leave children a generation ago than it is now.

Original poster
newshoes68 · 29/07/2016 15:40

Little one 1/2/3/4/6 left totally unsuoervisd

OP posts:
Original poster
newshoes68 · 29/07/2016 15:43

35,000 threads on mumsnet aday is more than the 1000 population on mori opinion polls

OP posts:
storminabuttercup · 29/07/2016 15:47

I've never seen a post about taking photos of neglected children...
I'd say most of mumsnet are against leaving kids in cars unsupervised, unless it's to pay for fuel etc

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/07/2016 15:50

It's never ok to leave a small child/baby/dog in a hot car. Never an excuse.

Beyond that, well it's a bit more complicated. What about leaving a dog in a car in winter whilst picking up a few bits? Is that bad? What about unattended kids, fair enough the younger they are the less you can go. Can you hang your washing out? Go the the toilet? Be more than two rooms away? If so, can you leave them in a cool, locked car whilst you pay for petrol? Can a 12 year old never be trusted to look after a younger sibling a very short while? Could a 6 year old play outside the house whilst you're indoors? What exactly is unsupervised in your eyes, op?

Arfarfanarf · 29/07/2016 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 16:14

It's never ok to leave a small child/baby/dog in a hot car. Never an excuse

Ok in a cold one though!

pigsDOfly · 29/07/2016 16:14

Not sure about double standards.

I do think a lot of people on MN and any other forum, come to that, will write things that they might not say in RL. Also I think a lot of people's opinions will vary depending on how they happen to be feeling on any given day and also in relation to what other people's views are.

Some posters will say something just to create an argument and wind people up.

Whilst there are some very sincere people on MN there are a lot of people who are just passing the time and haven't really thought through what they're passing off as their views.

It's probably a good idea not to take a lot of what you read on here as gospel OP and just take it for what it is: a lot of anonymous strangers shooting the breeze.

Tiggeryoubastard · 29/07/2016 16:16

No not at all - you are the opposite of old fashioned. It was much more acceptable to leave children a generation ago than it is now.
It must have been longer than that - I'm 50 and have never known it to be acceptable.

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 16:18

It must have been longer than that - I'm 50 and have never known it to be acceptable

It was acceptable to lots of people. Just because you didn't notice it doesn't mean it didn't happen!

Tiggeryoubastard · 29/07/2016 16:41

Yes, some people found it acceptable then, as some do now, but it certainly wasn't 'much more acceptable'.
They were seen as negligent then as they are now.

Tiggeryoubastard · 29/07/2016 16:42

And I never said I didn't notice it.

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 16:59

I disagree entirely. I think it was far more acceptable even 20 years ago.

When I was a kid nobody blinked at leaving us outside the pub with a packet of crisps while a parent sat inside drinking.

Tiggeryoubastard · 29/07/2016 17:02

My oldest is 26. I absolutely disagree with you, but I'm sure we can agree to disagree.

NeedAnotherGlass · 29/07/2016 19:16

It's never ok to leave a small child/baby/dog in a hot car. Never an excuse.
So when you're paying for petrol on a hot day you have to unload your dog and kids while you go to pay?
What if you are parking outside the newsagent and nipping in to grab a drink or snack?
Couple of minutes with the car in sight all the time, I don't see the problem.

EdmundCleverClogs · 29/07/2016 19:22

It depends, Need. If the car is boiling, then no. You may end up a bit longer in the shop paying than you meant to be, and heat only takes a few minutes to overwhelm in a car. However, in the case of paying for petrol, many places have pay by the pump, and I believe all of them are under the shade of a roof, so I think people can make an educated decision in that particular situation.

PurpleTango · 29/07/2016 19:28

Ha! I came on this thread just at the right time. Hubby has just returned from walking the dogs. On his way home I called him to ask him to call in Tesco Express to pick up some milk. (I hate getting in from work to find no milk for a cuppa! ) He left the dogs in the car for all of 4 minutes. When he came out some daft buggar had a go at him for leaving the dogs in the car. Its pissing down here! :D Hubby was even wearing his waterproof jacket. The stupidy of some people never cease to amaze :D :D :D

bitemyshinymetalass · 29/07/2016 19:34

heat only takes a few minutes to overwhelm in a car

That really is not true in the UK. On the hottest day of a heatwave, it would still take quite a long time to cause the smallest problem.

mollie123 · 30/07/2016 05:48

Animals can sustain brain damage or even die from heatstroke in just 15 minutes. Beating the heat is extra tough for dogs because they can only cool themselves by panting and by sweating through their paw pads.
not talking about children here

bitemyshinymetalass · 30/07/2016 09:29

Dogs are more vulnerable in cars than children are.

SeaEagleFeather · 30/07/2016 11:22

Small children hav no temperature regulation mechanism do they? So maybe it's just as dangerous for them, specially v small ones

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