Engagement ring and MIL! <lighthearted>

[LemonadeRingOnIt]

Apologies for the lighthearted tag, I fucking hate them but don't want a chorus of LTB I've also NCd as the DFiance (ooh, first time I've used that!) knows my usual posting name and I mostly just want a moan and a quick poll.

So DP proposed at the weekend super super romantic, big weekend for us, was the best day of my life so far BAR NONE. So that's lovely. He proposed with a dummy ring because I'm a fussy bitch difficult to shop for

We are heading back to the city he grew up in in 2 weeks and the plan is to buy the real ring when we are there. We are staying with MIL-to-be and she is quite possibly more over the effing moon than I am (which takes a lot!)

For background - he's an only child of a single mum and they are close. Which I don't actually mind, I love his dedication to her, I think it bodes well for the future, it's never been to my detriment and she welcomes me like a daughter (and has since we met tbf - I adore her).

So I get an email from her today saying that DFiance has invited her along on the engagement ring shopping trip...

Her (sensible) reaction was to say he'd asked her along, but that she thought the last thing I'd want is her tagging along and it's meant to be between us (we are 30ish!!).

I mayyyy have sent him a message saying 'err, why did you ask your mother along to engagement ring shopping?!?'.

All is fine because she gets that it would be weird, but subsequent discussion reveals he honestly doesn't think it's odd. I am convinced it bloody well is!

MN jury - what do you think?

I think it's quite nice to be honest.

ODD

I don't think it's the norm but I think it's rather lovely tbh.

Yes it is odd, fair enough ask her advice about romantic ways to propose and what the best shops are to go to, that kind of thing, but to actually ask her along to the ring shopping? No way, thats def odd!

Congrats tho

Yes odd

A bit strange but maybe he thinks that's what's everyone does?

I think it's something for just you two.

No gooseberries required here!

Cheers blueberry

I'm glad to hear it! Obviously my first time doing wedding stuff and I don't know all the etiquette...

I agree it's lovely that he wanted to - there's nothing nasty about it, he's a gorgeous boy who loves me and loves his mum. I'm just making sure I'm not being a total cow for going 'errr, no one does that!!'

Awkward!! How the arse do you reply to that with tact and sensitivity?

Haha Fetch, thankfully she's lovely so it was very easy to say 'thank god we agree, thank you for being lovely about it!'

Had she wanted to take up his offer, this would have been a slightly different conversation...

I Deffo think it should be something the two of you do together, but how about meeting her for a lovely lunch after shopping? That way she gets too ooh and ahh and be a part of it, without being a third wheel.

Congratulations!

I've never heard of it before, tbh.

I think it should be just the two of you picking the ring. MIL will get to join in with the fizz when you show her the ring though I hope!

Oh definitely - we'll be off for a lovely dinner with her that night where I can find extravagant ways to put my left hand in the limelight

I love her and am delighted that she'll be the first person to see the ring other than us, particularly since we're temporarily with my parents so they got the initial engagement celebration, seems fair. I really do think I'm so lucky to be getting her as a MIL, she's fab!

He probably just thinks of it as a day out shopping so invited mum along. I don't think it's odd.

Congratulations Lemonade and it sounds like your future MIL's a so that bodes really well.

She sounds lovely! Bit odd, but men view shopping (even for engagement rings) differently. I bought my own ring! Tight ex thought a promise would be enough!

Odd as fuck. He'll be inviting her to watch you give birth next, bloody hell. Thank goodness she's got more sense than him a lovely understanding woman, or that could've been really awkward. Congratulations though, a lovely MIL is a wonderful thing!

I think your MIL is a better catch than your DF! A rare event" You need to stay with him whatever, just to keep her!

It's a completely bizarre suggestion, and a round of applause for MIL for knowing it!

Perhaps he thinks it's like shopping for a weeding dress or something...and that you'd like to have another woman there.

Bless him.

WEDDING not weeding dress! FFS!

Come on dear....I need to buy a new weeding dress. This old one is full of holes!

Bless him a bit weird but sweet too.

As a DIL to a lovely MIL with only sons i would say tho please involve her in what bits you can. I invited mine wedding dress shopping which she'd never got to do before, came on the Hen Do which she'd never done before etc and she loved it. XDIL from other son was very much the opposite and never included her so i'm her only chance to do mothery things which is great cos i'm not that close to my own mom

Come to think it, I do need a new weeding dress, I might tack it on to the shopping trip

Funny you say that Haze, my DM and I were only saying tonight that we want her there for the big stuff, dress etc. I'm definitely not wanting to exclude her from anything. We once (years ago!) drunkenly got chatting about boys and their mums and she said I hoped I didn't resent her - I just said that if I ever had sons I would want them to stay close to me so why would I try and stop DP from being close with her? If my hypothetical DSs didn't want to see me as much I'd only have myself to blame for the karma!

She is indeed a lovely MIL and I have no plans to leave DF any time soon irregardless it is however reassuring that I am right. Sets a good tone for the next 50 odd years...!!

I just asked my partner, who is very close to his mum (speaks to her at least once a day) whether he would invite her on an engagement ring shopping trip. He laughed...

I think the wedding dress is another thing though. That would be lovely.