Engagement ring and MIL! <lighthearted>

[LemonadeRingOnIt]

Apologies for the lighthearted tag, I fucking hate them but don't want a chorus of LTB I've also NCd as the DFiance (ooh, first time I've used that!) knows my usual posting name and I mostly just want a moan and a quick poll.

So DP proposed at the weekend super super romantic, big weekend for us, was the best day of my life so far BAR NONE. So that's lovely. He proposed with a dummy ring because I'm a fussy bitch difficult to shop for

We are heading back to the city he grew up in in 2 weeks and the plan is to buy the real ring when we are there. We are staying with MIL-to-be and she is quite possibly more over the effing moon than I am (which takes a lot!)

For background - he's an only child of a single mum and they are close. Which I don't actually mind, I love his dedication to her, I think it bodes well for the future, it's never been to my detriment and she welcomes me like a daughter (and has since we met tbf - I adore her).

So I get an email from her today saying that DFiance has invited her along on the engagement ring shopping trip...

Her (sensible) reaction was to say he'd asked her along, but that she thought the last thing I'd want is her tagging along and it's meant to be between us (we are 30ish!!).

I mayyyy have sent him a message saying 'err, why did you ask your mother along to engagement ring shopping?!?'.

All is fine because she gets that it would be weird, but subsequent discussion reveals he honestly doesn't think it's odd. I am convinced it bloody well is!

MN jury - what do you think?

Oh & congratulations you loved up bouncy thing!! 💐🎉🍾🍸🍸

& double congratulations on bagging a brilliant MIL. 🍸🍾🍸

Odd. And she sounds fab!
But take this opportunity to reassure your DFiance that you adore his DM, and want her to be a big part of your future life. But you and he are family now, and major life events are between the 2 of you and only extended to other people by invitation if both of you agree.
Unless he can see ££££signs in your eyes and wanted his DM along to help reign you in!!!!

It sounds like you have different expectations of what "engagement ring shopping" is.

To you, it's a romantic event, to be shared between the two of you. To him it's a shopping trip for something you intend to buy, and as you are staying with his DM, he politely invited her to come.

Your MIL-to-be clearly understands what your feelings about it may have been, which is why she declined, although maybe if you had reiterated the invitation, she may have wanted to come as well. (Or not - I would hate to be the third wheel on such an occasion.)

My DH took HIS sister when he bought my ring. It was a surprise proposal & very lovely. BUT while my ring is nice I would not have chosen it if I'd gone shopping instead of my SIL. Still... It's the thought that counts [repeats on a loop in my head]

My DH when it came to buy the ring, asked if I wanted to take my sister with me and his credit card. He just saw it as a shopping trip and he doesn't do shopping. It was just him and me in the end

DH chose my engagement ring without me. Which is absolutely fine as it's beautiful and much nicer than anything I'd have chosen myself. But I later found out he'd taken his mother with him . He claims she insisted...

And (as stories tend to with her) it has now morphed in the retelling from 'DH chose the one he liked with occasional input from me' to 'DH didn't have a clue and I chose your ring'. Which she retells with gusto every time rings/ jewellery/ engagements/ weddings/ shops of any kind get mentioned.

Ah I can just see the 3 of u on the beach on the honeymoon!!!!