HV has put my 9 week old son on a diet

[OneForTheRoadThen]

I have a beautiful 9 week old son. He was born at 36+6 and spent the night in SCBU with an infection but after 4 days in hospital he recovered really well. He also had a tongue tie that was snipped at 11 days. However he has never ever latched on so therefore I feed him by expressing as much as I can (usually about 10 oz a day) and feeding him formula for the other feeds.

He weighed 7lb 9 at birth and has put on almost 1lb each week since then so he now weighs 14lb. He is on the 75th centile and quite chubby (but gorgeous).

I have been taking him to be weighed every week at the HV's request and she has often commented on how much weight he has put on. A couple of weeks ago she told him I was feeding him too frequently - I had been feeding on demand and he was feeding about every 2 hours - and that I needed to feed him every 3.5 - 4 hours. We had been working towards this and now I feed him every 3.5 hrs but he would be happier with 3 hourly feeds. Although he doesn't cry he does root, suck his fingers and have to be distracted with a dummy. He was having 6oz every 3.5hrs and finishing the bottle.

I got him weighed yesterday and the HV said he was eating far too much and I was risking him getting obese and having breathing difficulties. She said he must cut down to 5oz every 3.5 hours 'although he wouldn't like it' and be weighed weekly to monitor his progress.

Obviously I feel dreadful. It really upsets me to see him hungry and the constant clock watching and distracting him is getting me down. So AIBU to tell her to fuck off? Or AIBU to continue feeding him on demand and risk his health in the future?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences. Thanks.

[StarryIllusion]

I'd stop taking him tbh and would ask a GP's opinion. My ds was a right little chubbster. DP used to say we could just dip him in green paint for halloween and he could go as the hulk. Then pretty much as soon as he started toddling he shot up in height and slimmed right down. DD has been a long legged, slender baby right from the off.

[Wolfiefan]

Feed on demand. Both mine were chunkers (but also tall). Now school age and perfectly healthy weights.

[waterrat]

My son was 9th percentile by the way. Rolls of fat....he is now 4 years old and slender.

[waterrat]

90 th percentile I mean !

[OneForTheRoadThen]

Thanks everyone for your replies!

He takes about 1000ml in 24 hours (which does seem a lot(. I have spoken to the 'head' HV and am seeing her on Monday to discuss. I'll also see the GP for a second opinion.

By formula feeding on demand I meant he gives me the hunger cues and I feed him. I do try other things first to make sure he is hungry and I also do paced bottle feeding and take breaks while feeding him etc so I think he is just a hungry boy!

[WrappedInABlankie]

Well the information you were given was wrong

I highly doubt the staff, consultant and the doctors where ALL wrong That calculation is used for all babies (Unless they medically need more/less).

[StillRabbit]

My son was over the 90th centile as a baby. BF only and put on over a pound a week at one point. He is now a tall skinny teenager without an ounce of fat on him!

Your HV is crazy!

[BringingYoniBack]

The whole point of centiles is that anywhere from the 1st to the 99th is normal. Please ignore her.

[calamityjam]

I had the opposite problem with dd. The HV told me to mix butter in with her food! She was a dainty little thing at 8 months and was really quite slim until about 9 years old. She is now 13 and is 5''7' and has long legs and a perfect size 8. If I had listened to her my dd would probably be obese by now. Sometimes HVs chat shit.

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

My HV was a moron too. DS1 put on a pound a week for a very long time and did at one point look almost square. I was told to restrict his feeds (he was EBF) and all sorts of other nonsense like weaning him at 8 weeks.
He is now 14 and very slim, fit and healthy.
Just practice saying "Actually I don't want him to be weighed any more, thank you". Or don't go to the clinic.

[Lules]

Ignore her! I ff mine on demand. At the beginning he was a large baby (95%), wanted tonnes and then the amount he wanted stopped increasing around 4 months or so and he evened out a bit. He's now 10 months and is around the 50% mark (probably because he never stops moving)

[Greyhorses]

My baby was refered to hospital as my HV was worried about how quickly he was growing.
The paediatrician was very but reassured me that he was fine and to formula feed on demand.

He's 12 weeks now and it's evened itself out now, I suspect he was catching up as he was tiny when he was born!

[Peaceandl0ve]

My son was 11lbs and ate and ate, he wasfeeding too much and as it turned out he was not crying because he was hungry, it was because his tummy was so,full he was uncomfortable. At about 8 weeks my health visitor looked at me (in tears) and my son (constantly crying,,with a massive belly and red face) and told me to use a dummy and stop feeding on demand. Since then we never looked back. At this point i expressed my excess milk and froze it to use when i returned to work. Some babies as it turns out can be overfed on breast milk!

[dementedpixie]

1000mls is only about 33oz so not that much. Weekly weighing is OTT too and not required.

[SaucyJack]

She hasn't "put" your son on a diet- or indeed anything else. She doesn't have that power. She has offered (shit) advice as part of an optional service which have chosen to use frequently.

I'm not just saying this because I am a pedantic tosspot. But it's important that people understand exactly how much power HVs don't have over them, and that we use language to reflect that.

You're not under any more obligation to follow her barmy advice than you are to listen to your binman's child raising advice.

[Kmoggy]

Away.. My hv always told me to offer more as a baby will only take what he needs. I have never heard of this before.. I'd ask my gp for 2nd opinion or request another hv

[facebookrecruit]

Putting a 9 week old on a diet??
Fucking loony bint was she pissed??

[carrietwick]

That sounds appalling my baby was on the 91st centile at that age and took 240ml every 4 hours (my HV said to feed him if he was hungry). He's now 6 months and loves his food but has slowed down with weight gain recently also burning off more energy by rolling around.

[insan1tyscartching]

My lot put on a pound a week and were definitely chunky babies and then grew into their weight as toddlers. I had no bother from the HV though as I never took them to be weighed

[Frazzled2207]

Bonkers. My kid was 75th centile when little and a milk monster. He's now 3 and really skinny.
Unless he is off the charts just ignore.

[SquinkiesRule]

Daftest HV comment ever?
Both my boys doubled their weight in 6 weeks on breast milk alone, the pediatrician was well impressed. Ds 1 never lost any weight after birth, he gained. Now grown he's a beanpole and needed slim fit jeans as a small child. Both were at 90% for weight and height for a long time. Bit were born at the 30% line and shot up. Theres a chart here showing how much milk per pound of baby's weight they should get in 24 hours. Just divide the 24 hour amount by however many feeds you give each day.

[dementedpixie]

I always went by the formula of 2.5oz per lb of weight which would be 2.5 x 14 in your case which gives roughly 35oz. Your dc isn't overeating at all

[Labracadabra]

Ok, calm down everyone. I'm sure everyone is well meaning and trying to be supportive but,unless any posters are paediatricians, you cannot follow the advice you are being given here. It's not the centile which your baby is on that is the issue (there's no such thing as a good/bad/wrong/right centile) but whether your baby is tracking along the same centile they started on. If they cross two centile lines upwards or downwafd that's a red flag for further investigation. 9 weeks is very young to have crossed two centile lines - has he? If so, request a referral to a paediatrician for advice tailored to your baby. It certainly is possible to overfeed a FF baby. The growth curves are based on BF babies as this is deemed optimal nutrition by the WHO. And babies who grow too fast are at risk of adult obesity (not necessary childhood obesity) so it is very important to follow the proper advice. However, it's just not possible to tell from the info you've posted whether there is really a problem or not. I know it feels personal, try not to take it to heart. The health professionals have got your baby's best interests in mind (even if not done very tactfully)

[QuackDuckQuack]

Please don't do what she has suggested. And stop taking him to be weighed, if he looks ok then he really doesn't need to be weighed frequently.

Babies often 'catch up' or 'catch down' to the centile they should be on. I have 2 DDs, both FF on demand. DD1 was born on the 25th centile and caught up to between 75th & 91st for weight (height about 98th, so she's in proportion). DD2 was born on 99th centile and caught down to 50th for weight and height. Forcing DD1 towards the 50th centile for weight wouldn't have made any sense, she is tall like DH. Equally I got a bit of stick from MW and HV when DD2 was newborn as she wouldn't drink the 'recommended' amount of milk, but once she got to her natural centile, she picked up their eating to maintain it. 50th centile isn't some sort of goal for FF babies, while BF babies are given the 'you can't over feed a BF baby' mantra. Nor is their birth centile the target they should track.

And if you are hoping your baby will sleep through at some point then he will need to be taking enough milk in the day. If you make him feed 6 times a day 4 hours apart, one of those will need to be in the middle of the night.