HV has put my 9 week old son on a diet

[OneForTheRoadThen]

I have a beautiful 9 week old son. He was born at 36+6 and spent the night in SCBU with an infection but after 4 days in hospital he recovered really well. He also had a tongue tie that was snipped at 11 days. However he has never ever latched on so therefore I feed him by expressing as much as I can (usually about 10 oz a day) and feeding him formula for the other feeds.

He weighed 7lb 9 at birth and has put on almost 1lb each week since then so he now weighs 14lb. He is on the 75th centile and quite chubby (but gorgeous).

I have been taking him to be weighed every week at the HV's request and she has often commented on how much weight he has put on. A couple of weeks ago she told him I was feeding him too frequently - I had been feeding on demand and he was feeding about every 2 hours - and that I needed to feed him every 3.5 - 4 hours. We had been working towards this and now I feed him every 3.5 hrs but he would be happier with 3 hourly feeds. Although he doesn't cry he does root, suck his fingers and have to be distracted with a dummy. He was having 6oz every 3.5hrs and finishing the bottle.

I got him weighed yesterday and the HV said he was eating far too much and I was risking him getting obese and having breathing difficulties. She said he must cut down to 5oz every 3.5 hours 'although he wouldn't like it' and be weighed weekly to monitor his progress.

Obviously I feel dreadful. It really upsets me to see him hungry and the constant clock watching and distracting him is getting me down. So AIBU to tell her to fuck off? Or AIBU to continue feeding him on demand and risk his health in the future?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences. Thanks.

[oldmums]

tell her yes, you have cut down, and do exactly as you have been doing! no way would i cut babys food down xx

[OneForTheRoadThen]

Demented pixie - I've just looked through my feeding diary and he averages 1090ml/38oz a day.

[Labracadabra]

It's hard to see on my phone but, if you ignore the first 2 weeks (babies often lose and then regain weight during the first 2 wks) and take the second plot on the chart as the first weight, he started between 25th and 50th centile. Since then he has crossed two centile lines and is now between 75th and 91st centile. (They don't have to be on a centile line, between two is quite normal too). He is not on 98th as far as I can see. As he has crossed two centiles in an upward direction and is still heading upwards it's definitely a flag for further investigation. That does not mean there is a problem or that any action is definitely required, just that investigation is needed. Don't panic but get a GP appt and possibly paed referral if needed. I don't know if restricting feeding is meant to be a first line management approach before further checks but I doubt it (I might be wrong though, to be fair to the HV).
~shinynewname~ that is most definitely the point of the centiles! Any centile can be normal or correct for that individual (because people and babies come in all shapes and sizes) it's the pattern of growth that's important not which centile they are on.

[salsamad]

My DS was 13lb 2 at 9 wks.
At 7 wks old he was guzzling 7oz every 2.5 to 3 hours with about two 5 hr stints of sleep in the evening/night. My HV said that we had to make him wait and drag the feeds out to 3hrs.
He was a really good baby but screamed like an air raid siren when he was hungry and no amount of bouncing, rocking and singing would placate him! I got so stressed trying to make him wait and in the end I fed him when he was hungry not according to the clock.
He was just under the 75th centile at birth for weight and head circumference but was very long and just under the 99th centile for height. His weight did cross 2 centiles to finish at just under the 98th centile at 2 yrs and his height was still under the 99th centile.

[ShyTallSun]

Agree with Labracadabra. DS1 was 9lb 9oz at birth and put on weight really well....too well. I think he was 75th centile at birth and hit 98th then started going over 99.6th. HV referred me to GP due to rapid pass through the centiles but GP said not to worry as he was also very long...also above 99.6th centile. GP happy as height and weight on same line so I ignored HV about diet and if HV made any comments at subsequent weighings I just ignored her or made a snippy remark!
DS1 now 3 and whilst still big (42lbs) it's all in proportion!

[confusedlilly]

I was having the opposite problems to you. My ds is 17 weeks today, was born 10lb 13oz and on the 91st/98th centile. He isn't a massive milk drinker has about 25/30oz a day. He dropped down to the 75th centile and I was told by hv I had to up his feeds from 5oz to 7oz to get him to gain more weight (his weight is fine just not putting on a much as to follow his line) I tried felt like I was force feeding him, went from a happy little boy to miserable! I stopped and went to seek advice from a different hv who told me to ignore her and carry on feeding on demand what he wants to take. He has now settled on the 75th centile and is back to being a happy little boy &a sleeping through the night! Follow your instincts and go see a different hv. It made my post natal anxiety go through the roof thinking I was under feeding my baby or that something was wrong with him when Infact he just isn't a big eater and has now settled down!

[Wafflenose]

As Poppy said, if he'd been born a day later, she wouldn't bother with the age correction stuff, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to that. You don't have to see that HV and don't have to have him weighed if you don't want to. I would probably mention it all to the GP if you need any more reassurance.

My DD1 was born at 39 weeks, weighing 8lb, and her chart for the first two months looked EXACTLY like that. I think she was 13lb at 8 weeks, and remember at my 6-week check the GP said, "Ooh, she's a big girl, isn't she?" but in a "well done to you" sort of way (she was EBF). l thought she was going to skyrocket up into the coloured band at the top of the chart and then beyond, but surprise surprise, she leveled off shortly afterwards, which it looks to me like your son's chart is going to do soon as well.

Incidentally, DD1 has been tall but normal ever since. She's nearly 11 now and coming into puberty, and was complaining that some clothes were too short today. So I measured her - she's 4'11" tall, and weighs around 6 stone. This puts her height on the 84th centile and weight on the 60th, so despite being a porker at your son's age, she's not gigantic at all!

[fishybits]

I FF DD on demand, she was born on the 91st centile, was a very chubby baby and is now a very tall and skinny 4 year old.

Follow your instincts OP.

[ohfourfoxache]

I've only read the op.

Firstly, completely ignore her. If you want a second opinion then speak to your GP or contact the paediatricians at the hospital (assume as he was in SCBU that the Drs will have been involved)

Secondly, report this crazy bitch. Seriously, this woman is beyond unprofessional.

[ilovetoloveyoubaby]

My DS was 9lbs at birth and by the time he 15 weeks he was on the 91st centile for his weight.

the HV got really shitty with me and pretty much said the same as your midwife. He was fed every 4 hours and slept right through the night so she backed down on that one.

I then asked her to measure him and he was on the 98th centile for his length/height. She soon shut up when I challenged her on whether or not she had any good methods to stop him growing as she seemed to think growing was a problem given her reaction to his weight.

I asked her if height and weight had a direct correlation to which she replied yes. I then asked her if she'd be more worried if he was 98th for height and 50th for weight to which she replied yes.

I asked her for an apology which she gave me.

I told her next time she should Probably reserve judgement till she had all the facts.

Your baby sounds healthy and well cared for.

Ignore her

[Labracadabra]

Crazy bitch? Unprofessional? Why? I'm not saying her advice is right or wrong, but I'm not sure you can say it's unprofessional from reading this thread. What if she's actually giving the right advice, can't you at least assume good intent?

[FruitCider]

7lb 9oz is pretty big for a 36 weeker. They would have been about 9.5/10lb at term! 75th centile sounds about right to me X

[glueandstick]

This is why I've not gone to weighing sessions or had feeding diaries. If your baby is happy and growing then surely there is no problem.

[fadingfast]

My DS was born at 37 weeks at 6lbs 12oz and after a difficult start (problems latching on) he and I eventually got the hang of breastfeeding and by five/six weeks he was putting on 1lb a week. He was soon on the 98th percentile and I was a bit obsessed about getting him weighed (every ounce felt like an achievement). He is now nearly 12 and built like a string bean. I noticed today that his swimming trunks are age 8 . I think for a health visitor to be suggesting that your DS is obese is frankly ridiculous.

[daftbesom]

DS1 weighed 8lbs+ at birth, I bf'd and he put on a pound a week from the get go. He was v chubby and gorgeous. He lost the many rolls of fat when he got mobile.

We have never restricted his food (apart from limiting biscuits and sweets when he was younger).

He's now 16, rather skinny and still gorgeous!

[Labracadabra]

You might be right Fruitcider, but the whole point is to track the rate/pattern of growth. Maybe the OPs baby is " meant to be" on the centile he's on now, but he has had a rapid growth period so far (which is a risk factor for future obesity) so the HV is right to flag it. Maybe he's now where he should be (and was "catching up" up til now) but it does need checking. Does that make sense?

[SharonfromEON]

My DS was born at 39 weeks 7Lbs 2oz.. He is 9 so don't remember the gain but he was breast fed..HV would say are you feeding him gold top. He was sailing up the centiles...Seems a different approach maybe because he was breast fed? Any way my DS had big rolls of fat..He is now a very tall stick..

I would change clinics..See another HV and see what they say but I wouldn't be taking my baby to be weighed every week

[Labracadabra]

I find it quite alarming how many people are recommending "just ignore" or "follow your instinct". Tracking growth is really not a competition or a criticism. It's a way to try to optimise future healthy weight. Surely that's a good thing?

[SarcasmMode]

All babies are different.

Unless your baby is off the charts I wouldn't worry about it.

DD1 was between 75th and 91st in weight but also in height, so was even in that sense. How is he on his height?

Haven't had DD2 weighed for a while but when I did she was at 75th and expect she's more now. She has the roles around her belly and everything. She's started to role like crazy so expect she'll lose some more very soon (nearly 6 months).

DD1 is now 3 and average weight and quite tall. They usually even out eventually.

[MrsKoala]

My first baby was 91st centile and second was 98th at birth (10lb and born at 37 wks ) then soon off the chart - both boys the centiles were for height and weight. They also put on masses at first and i combine fed like you (i can only feed from one side) on demand. They were/are chunks till 2 then just get thinner and taller. My almost 4o is 108cm tall and 18kg but looks just right - you can see ribs and he is super lean, and my almost 2 yo is 100cm tall and 17kg (and in 3-4 clothes).

Some babies are just big or get bigger quicker. At 1yo ds2 was a complete ball, but now he has really thinned out, and while he is still squishy and scrumptious and still has squeezable thighs, i can see those days are numbered and he almost looks thinner and taller by the day.

[sunnydayinmay]

Actually, without turning this into a BF/FF thread, DS1 was BF for 10 days, never dripped weight and gained from birth. He was flying up the chart from day 1 in a straight line. When I switched to FF, he just continued on the same line. The only comment I had from the HV was to wean early, as he was hungry!

[SarcasmMode]

Agree it's having the height / weight not too far apart centimetres wise.

[ilovetoloveyoubaby]

labracadabra perhaps HV should take other facts into consideration before (as was the case with me) making accusatory remarks?

I have a husband who was 10lbs at birth as was his brother and his father was 11lbs at birth. All tall slim men. I did point mention this to her. My son, as I pointed out before, was relatively big at birth (9lbs) as well as being very very long.

He's now two and still sits at the 98th centile for height and his weight has dropped slightly to 75th centile so he's taking after my DH's side with that.

One of the reasons I tended to ignore the HV was based on the fact that they couldn't/refused to answer simple questions I had and repeatedly told me to ask my GP. These were basic questions about routine and sleeping which I would've expected her to be able to answer. Then to make off the cuff and unfounded remarks about my son's weight tipped me over the edge.

To be honest my DM and DMIL were more knowledgable and helpful.

[mrsvilliers]

@Labracadabra I think this obesity tracking has gone a bit mad. I got told to reduce dc2's feed when she was 8 months old as she had jumped from 50th to 75th. I ignored because she was EIGHT MONTHS old and, crucially, because I'd already had dc1 and knew she'd bulk up and then trim down again when she started moving. But if she'd been my first I would have been thrown into a panic. Like the OP.

OP don't go back to this hv. Got to another or your gp if you're worried. But in the meantime continue feeding him as he demands. He's still tiny and needs all the nourishment he can get.

Also, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought babies lost weight with CMPI?

[han01uk]

As a neonatal nurse that is utter ridiculous. He is on the 75th centile?!! Which means he isn't even that large! Demand feed a baby,whether they are formula or breast fed. If they have too much they will vomit,if they haven't they will never settle. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy a happy,healthy bubba. And switch HV clinics!