HV has put my 9 week old son on a diet

[OneForTheRoadThen]

I have a beautiful 9 week old son. He was born at 36+6 and spent the night in SCBU with an infection but after 4 days in hospital he recovered really well. He also had a tongue tie that was snipped at 11 days. However he has never ever latched on so therefore I feed him by expressing as much as I can (usually about 10 oz a day) and feeding him formula for the other feeds.

He weighed 7lb 9 at birth and has put on almost 1lb each week since then so he now weighs 14lb. He is on the 75th centile and quite chubby (but gorgeous).

I have been taking him to be weighed every week at the HV's request and she has often commented on how much weight he has put on. A couple of weeks ago she told him I was feeding him too frequently - I had been feeding on demand and he was feeding about every 2 hours - and that I needed to feed him every 3.5 - 4 hours. We had been working towards this and now I feed him every 3.5 hrs but he would be happier with 3 hourly feeds. Although he doesn't cry he does root, suck his fingers and have to be distracted with a dummy. He was having 6oz every 3.5hrs and finishing the bottle.

I got him weighed yesterday and the HV said he was eating far too much and I was risking him getting obese and having breathing difficulties. She said he must cut down to 5oz every 3.5 hours 'although he wouldn't like it' and be weighed weekly to monitor his progress.

Obviously I feel dreadful. It really upsets me to see him hungry and the constant clock watching and distracting him is getting me down. So AIBU to tell her to fuck off? Or AIBU to continue feeding him on demand and risk his health in the future?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences. Thanks.

[SouthWindsWesterly]

How did it go with the GP and the alternative HV?

[lozzylizzy]

I've heard that children don't overeat until they are at least 2. Their stomachs are tiny so they'd probably be sick before making themselves obese. Ignore the dippy cow. Get baby weighed, answer their questions and take their advice with a pinch of salt. They all say different!!!

[sarahb1982]

Sorry just realised you've already sorted this now!

[sarahb1982]

Definitely ignore and don't take him to be weighed! The HV service is not compulsory. You don't need to ever go near a HV if you don't want to.
All of mine were considered overweight as babies but are not overweight now. And anyway, babies are supposed to be chubby!

[WrappedInABlankie]

Probably

You can overfeed a baby if they comfort eat like my ds2 did.

However it's been resolved

[sallyedmondson]

Well this H/V says that a load of bllks. Centile charts are only a bit of the picture and if your baby is well and feeding to satisfy himself then ignore the advice.
Is she young and possibly in experienced?
Go with your instincts and frankly don't get him weighed so often if it is undermining you. Our job (health visitors ) is to support you and help you grow your confidence as a mum. Should only intervene when something is really wrong.

[ProbablyMe]

HV is talking bollocks. Babies are self limiting and you can't force a baby to feed if it doesn't want to so I don't see how you could overfeed one!

My 11 week old ds has followed pretty much the same growth pattern - born on 25th percentile weighing 7lb 4oz and had gone up to the 75th by 6 weeks. I imagine he might be higher than that now but I don't actually know how much he weighs now as I haven't been bothered to go and get it done but he's happy (mainly!) and healthy and that's all I care about.

Between 2 and 6 weeks he put on a pound a week. My HV said that the line babies are born on often changes as babies find their own line.

[LyndaNotLinda]

I don't know why it winds me up so much! I should just hide the thread once the OP has resolved the issue.

I think it's just because I don't understand why people do it

[MaMattoo]

Another one saying ignore Hv. I got the same advice for my. 95 centimetres baby. He was a whopper and ate and slept like a trooper and left me happy that I was doing something right. He is now 6, same centile but now tall and lanky as he doesn't stop talking or moving!!
She is reading from a script...ignore! And go somewhere else for weighing if you must

[Basicbrown]

Lynda why are you posting pointlessly at least everyone else is on topic......!

[LyndaNotLinda]

RTFT people!

Is it me or has this just reached stupid proportions of late? It never used to be this bad did it?

[florencebabyjo]

Is she very young? I would ask to see her manager and change health visitor. Her competency should be questioned as could be putting babies at risk. Sounds as though you are doing an amazing job and within 100 centimes is all on the normal range. Enjoy feeding your little one

[Basicbrown]

I think one of the issues with FF/ Expressed milk feeding is you know how much they are getting whereas with breastfeeding you have no idea. The knowledge isn't overly helpful.

All this working out mathematically the amount of formula is nonsense. I have 2 dds who were both ff and tracked the 25th percentile line up to 6 months old. Dd1 lived on fresh air and hardly drank anything (which stressed me out) and dd2 drank a staggering amount (which stressed me out) The HV was just you must be getting through a lot of nappies offer another oz if she's draining bottles. It's a baby not a logarithm. The formula is surely meant as a guide for babies that are sick/ not thriving.

Going to the GP is exactly the right thing to do, if your child has an issue this needs investigating I doubt starving babies solves anything.

[neverundersold]

This happened to me when youngest DD born. On the third visit from the HV and her scales, my DD proceeded to do the longest wee all over the HV as she tried to weigh her. The HV never called again and I never attended any of the weighing clinics, I just enjoyed my baby without anymore patronising advice. I must have been doing something right as DD recently deemed a normal weight my the government weighing programme in year 6. Some HV haven't a clue honestly.

[SouthWindsWesterly]

Are you pumping his milk then supplementing formula? If you want to keep pumping milk for him, at 8-9 weeks, there's a growth spurt and you should pump each time he feeds if possible so that you can keep up with demand. It's bloody hard work mind - I expressed all my milk for my first and it took at lot of time and stubbornness, including pumpkin in the middle of the night! I refused to do the same for DC2 so really cracked on with BF which helped. Good luck and I hope it goes well tomorrow!

[emmantfc]

My DS was born at 40+1 at 8lb, and is now nearly 15lb at 8 weeks. He's exclusively breastfed so I don't know if that makes a difference but his HV and GP have both commented that his weight gain is excellent and he's the picture of health, so I'm not sure why your HV is concerned - some babies are big, some babies are little!

[WrappedInABlankie]

Rtft!

[rap12]

Have NEVER heard of putting 9 week old on a diet! I would get another opinion. Re: feeding on demand, i did this with first dd and wished i hadnt, i couldnt establish a proper routine, she was feeding too much, then not enough, i would have to wake her at night for a feed otherwise she would sleep right through from 2 weeks old - sounds like bliss but not good for weight gain. With my other children i set up a routine immediately which they followed well after about 2 weeks old. I know other mothers who did feed on demand and it just didnt work. Each to their own though, you have to find what works for you.

[BITCAT]

Sorry just read the update. I'm glad it's been sorted and your happy.
Too much emphasis on weight these days and not enough emphasis on health.
It was once mentioned in a tac meeting that all my children were of small build!!! Well no shit, I'm 5ft 3 and was 7st until I was 18. I had children and put a little weight on but not much. There dad is tall but still slim..so stands to reason they wereally going to be small. My dd1 is 14 5ft6 and has the body shape of a full grown woman. She has my hips thighs bum..dna has a lot to do with body size shapes etc
And a baby shouldn't be put on any diets. Hate these tables they don't take into account the family background

[Comtesse]

Too much weighing can make you anxious. I was really worried about not gaining enough with my first daughter and used to weigh her all the time. Seriously overdid it (spreadsheets and everything) and made me very neurotic. No more than monthly for weigh-ins!

[BITCAT]

Quite simply I would tell her to fuckoff. Sorry to be blunt but all babies and children grow at different rates. He will probably slow down as he gets older..no child grows to a bloody table...it really makes me so mad.

[Tbear4]

OH has a son with ex, am i wrong to be worried/paranoid that there always texting or phoning, are together alot when I'm not there and heard what sounded like kissing then seen them hug quite tightly for a bit. Making me quite upset

[Greensmurf1]

Contact la leche league or find an NCT breastfeeding support group or a lactation consultant right away.
You can still get support even if you are bottle feeding. They will have good advice related to expressing breastmilk & may even be able to assist with supplemental nursing systems if you want to try different approaches to reintroducing the breast with tools like nippleshields etc and combining with bottle. My DD had tongue tie too but we didn't find out until 8 weeks, then it readhered. So sympathy and hugs for a difficult start. It's hard when you are trying your best and getting advice that seems counterproductive.
I have heard some bonkers advice from health visitors and that sounds pretty bonkers. She needs to be able to back that up with clinical studies or some evidence that there is a real problem.
If there is an issue with too much milk... Rather than feed ds less, you could check to see if the bottle flow is too quick. Some teats are easier to suck from than others and if it is slightly more difficult then you may find that baby will feed more slowly, that it is a little more difficult to drink quickly. If he feeds for longer, he is still hungry. If he doesn't feed for longer, then he may have been getting milk so quickly with rhe other bottle that he hadn't realised he was already full and kept on drinking anyway. The logic is that when anyone eats really fast, they don't always notice that they are already full. It takes a little while for the message to get from tummy to brain. If the milk flows fast, he may fill up and keep drinking without noticing he's full.
The breastfeeding counsellors I spoke with always said offer breast or breastmilk first and formula if baby was still hungry. Hope you get some sound advice. //Www.kellymom.com is good evidence based advice and resources.

[Lindsxxx]

Arggghhhh, health visitors make me irate with stupid comments like this.
I wouldn't take him to get weighed so often, or take him elsewhere. Never heard such a ridiculous thing as putting a bloody baby on a diet!!

[Katherine2626]

Ignore this woman. I breastfed my son, was congratulated by HV who said smugly 'You cannot over feeed a breasted baby', then asked about the state of his nappies and when I said he was a bit loose she announced 'You're over feeding him' - and he was quite a skinny little fella! As he was my second baby and the first had survived I decided there and then that I had had enough of the clinic and the HVs, most of whom didn't have children themselves, and just followed my own instincts.