HV has put my 9 week old son on a diet

[OneForTheRoadThen]

I have a beautiful 9 week old son. He was born at 36+6 and spent the night in SCBU with an infection but after 4 days in hospital he recovered really well. He also had a tongue tie that was snipped at 11 days. However he has never ever latched on so therefore I feed him by expressing as much as I can (usually about 10 oz a day) and feeding him formula for the other feeds.

He weighed 7lb 9 at birth and has put on almost 1lb each week since then so he now weighs 14lb. He is on the 75th centile and quite chubby (but gorgeous).

I have been taking him to be weighed every week at the HV's request and she has often commented on how much weight he has put on. A couple of weeks ago she told him I was feeding him too frequently - I had been feeding on demand and he was feeding about every 2 hours - and that I needed to feed him every 3.5 - 4 hours. We had been working towards this and now I feed him every 3.5 hrs but he would be happier with 3 hourly feeds. Although he doesn't cry he does root, suck his fingers and have to be distracted with a dummy. He was having 6oz every 3.5hrs and finishing the bottle.

I got him weighed yesterday and the HV said he was eating far too much and I was risking him getting obese and having breathing difficulties. She said he must cut down to 5oz every 3.5 hours 'although he wouldn't like it' and be weighed weekly to monitor his progress.

Obviously I feel dreadful. It really upsets me to see him hungry and the constant clock watching and distracting him is getting me down. So AIBU to tell her to fuck off? Or AIBU to continue feeding him on demand and risk his health in the future?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences. Thanks.

Definitely get a second opinion. Laddo was 8lb 4.5oz at birth and by 8 weeks was on 91St centile (13lb 13oz). The HV asked me what I was feeding him (breastmilk on demand). I glared at her and didn't see her again. He was off the charts for length and is now on top centile for height and 75th for weight, he's 5yo and still eats like a thing possessed!!!

Not read everything but it looks like you have had a good resolution to the problem HV. My DS was 13lbs15oz at 8weeks and he grew fast and in proportion until he was on the 99% percentile and he started in that shaded area on the top of the chart... He was 2stone at 1yr and 3stone at 2yrs... He has never been a total chubster but he crawled and walked and talked early and is a well built 17 yr old at just under 6ft... He still is not fat and when playing rugby is in the second row...big and strong!! Your boy sounds just dandy!

Not started... Stayed in the shade area #fail!

Great news OP

What a load of crock!
My DS is 75th percentile and my health visitor and the others at the weigh in clinic have never told me to put him on a diet or try and space his feeds out longer.

Feed your baby when he's hungry, stupid hv... Babies know when they've had enough. They dont know greed yet it's all primal instinct

My son was born 6lb something and skinny as hell after a dreadful four day labour. He was a hungry baby and before long was rolling in fat :-) My ex in laws commented he was overweight. He was breastfed. I failed to see how he could be, as surely if he demanded food every two hours and my body produced it that was nature's way?
I went with him and now he's a lithe 7 year old, not an inch of fat on him. Boys seem to need it, my girl was a mouse of an eater in comparison.

Hi
Im a very experienced Health Visitor and am wondering why you have been told to decrease his feeds .He seems to be doing well and to be able to self soothe with his fingers is great at that age. I would suggest that you dont need to weigh him every week , once a month is more than enough The growth charts are a guide only .Carry on feeding him as you are doing.Increase his feeds if he really wont settle inbetween .You may find there are some feeds he is hungrier than others. Just whatever you do please dont introduce solids too soon ( no earlier than 17 weeks ) as this is more harmful than milk :) wishing you lots of love and cuddles

I'm sorry you've received such awful advice.
I'm sure you are doing a grand job. I was bullied that I bottle fed cos my Son was tongue tied too. Go with your gut, trust yourself and enjoy your new baby. Xx

I think she needs to be reported tbh! To me that seems like terrible advice, definitely get a second opinion!

Jeesus. Baby is 9 weeks old. He's not a 39 year old woman putting away a whole pack of ginger nuts in one sitting - like me 😁 He wouldn't take milk if he wasn't hungry. Smile, nod, ignore. They are mostly jobsworths

What a load of p!sh!! That is the worst advice I have ever heard coming from a HV. Go back to your GP and request to have another HV take over your care!

Babies cluster feed when they go through growth spurts - it helps build milk supply if your breastfeeding for when they come out side of the growth spurt!

Please get a second opinion. A 9 week old should not have food restricted. Check with your GP about this but it doesnt sound right to me at all.

Sunshine

No he's milk intolerant. On special prescription milk and still at 13 months can't have anything with milk in.

As others have said - it sounds completely daft. Do get a second opinion but also trust your instincts.

It is my experience that HVs (or other health professionals, for that matter) can go a bit OTT if you're measuring something too often. In the nicest way possible, they see the information that they're not used to having access to, and feel the need to act on it. I was lucky with my main HV who was no-nonsense and told me not to get DS1 weighed too often for this very reason. With DS2 & 3 (twins), they not only wanted to weigh them too often, they also compared the two, which was completely and entirely unhelpful. Twin 1 was smaller than twin 2, and their reasoning was that twin 2 would always want and need more food because he was slightly bigger. When in actual fact twin 1 had a bigger appetite and caught up with his brother who didn't leap on ahead, and then they stayed more or less the same from then on. Except that even now at 4 years old, while they look identical and seem to eat the same, twin 1 is still noticeably heavier to pick up

I could completely see the logic that a bigger baby might need more food, but there's no way I was going to force feed one baby and restrict the other, just because they hadn't been an identical weight at birth. Ridiculous. (This was as early as 2-4 weeks, if I remember rightly!)

Step away from the numbers, get a second opinion, and trust your instincts. And try not to worry and enjoy your precious bundle

Just seen your latest post, OP. So glad things are sorted and that you feel reassured. Cheer

Good for you, OP. Sounds like you're doing a great job

My DS was born a large 8lb 13 but had a serious infection after birth so we were hospitalised for two weeks. He dropped to around 7lb very quickly as he just didn't eat at all when he was ill and he was given formula in that period as his blood sugar was so low and I couldn't force him to breastfeed as he was so lethargic. I then started expressing to get my milk in and the hospital staff couldn't believe what I was producing....around 500ml in 5 minutes. When I became ill with sepsis and was transferred back to delivery/maternity, they didn't have big enough bottles so I was filling about 6 on one expressing session and they asked me to clear the fridge as I was taking over
Anyway, my DS put on huge amounts of weight being EBF and was on 99.6th centile and was a right chunk!!!! I struggled to find clothes to fit him and lost 6 stone in about 8 months and ended up quite underweight!
He refused to get weighed at his two year check but he's 2 years 4 months and I would say a very healthy weight

At 9 weeks it is too soon, unless you are feeding the extra thick formula and he still can't get enough.

The moral of the story is that it I unwise to pay much if any attention to health visitors. If in doubt their advice needs to be triangulated with a qualified doctor.

It's very worrying a health visitor can get it so wrong after three years' nurse training and at least a year of specialist hv training.

I'm glad the senior hv was helpful. When I had problems the senior one wouldn't acknowledge that my twit of an hv had been both incompetent and rude.

What I found out though was that whilst the hv service is statutorily obliged to offer their service to all women, it is not compulsory to engage with the service. They don't tell you that. I never engaged again.

My DS who had the problems (feeding funnily enough) is now a strapping 21 year old, who plays prop (he was intended to be well built) and is predicted a first at Oxford. The HV's boss had the cheek to tell me "it's very important to see your hv because she'll be able to tell if you are talking to him enough for him to develop speech". I went home and read him the Iliad and the Odyssey. He loved the myths as a small boy and devoured the Orchard Book series. He's reading classics of course.

In a way the silly woman did him a favour but I'm not sure introducing him to them at six weeks or three would have made a difference. However, on the whole, I'm not sure what the hv service adds universally and feel the resources could be diverted to those in most need.

That's nuts!

My daughter always has been on the 97-99 centile. My friend's son was on the 6th.

I'm very tall she's very short. We used to go to HV sessions together to explain that her son was fine and my dd was fine and that not everyone can have kids on the 50th for obvious reasons. It took a lot of discussion and both our kids are fine and healthy.

My son was also 14 lb at 9 weeks and was entirely breastfed. He's now 12 and skinny as a stick.
Just don't get him weighed for a couple of months. She's talking absolute arse.

The moral of the story is that it I unwise to pay much if any attention to health visitors

It really depends on whether your child is crossing centiles as they grow. If not, then totally ignore what she's saying, they're doing what they're meant to.

If lots of centile are being crossed, the reason that the HV is bringing it up is because putting on weight too quickly is strongly associated with being overweight as a child, and subsequently as an adult. Obviously there are plenty of kids who start moving and lose it all, but statistically fast weight gain in infants increases obesity in later life. I know most people who get told about this don't feel like they can restrict a baby's feed, but I'll give you the link to a review of studies so you can see what the HV is probably getting at!

adc.bmj.com/content/97/12/1019.full.pdf

sometimes what Mum feels is best is not always the best for baby. All current evidence suggest that the babies who are shooting up through their centiles ( Not including those catching up if prem or low BW) are at increased risk of diabetes and obesity. At 9 weeks you should be aiming for about 150ml/kg, calculate what you are giving him and have a think. Overfeeding is an increasingly common presentation to the Gp. People dont say things like that to offend, its usually evidence based not emotion based.

Perspective if you read my update you'll see that that calculation is not generally recommended for 'healthy' babies