would you believe ds (5) or the childminder? childminer took ds and the children elsewhere

[user1469643462]

It is the summer holidays so ds has to be with a childminer, for 3 days a week. I pay her for the actual care she provides, then i pay for any visits to places on top of that, they were supposed to be going to the zoo today and i had paid £21 for ds's zoo ticket and i know that isnt loads but tbh with the cost i had already paid for her to look after him it was almost today's wages! ds goes there with 2 boys and a little girl aswell all around the same age give or take. Ds got home and was telling me all about his trip to the local museum (which was free) i did not have a problem with that he seemed to have had a great time. I phoned up the childminder and asked if she could just paypal the money back over and she said that she had no idea what i was going on about and that she took them to the zoo I know children do love to use their imagination, so i was a bit undecided, ds kept going on about the objects he had seen and told me a story about a man showing them the kids bit. ds has never been to this museum and it was just odd how well he was explaining it. I would love to phone the other parents but tbh i dont actually know them! it's all very odd...

It is strange, most of us take photos so Id ask for some.

Having said that on Monday I planned to go to a model village and parents said they would pay, at the last minute one family cancelled the day and didn't want to miss out so I messaged other one and said can I take them to x with the higher price....maybe she had similar and planned to go another day and your question threw her? not sure why you wouldn't say though.

we used to go to the zoo and the natural history museum a lot. my son used to ask if he could go to the museum with the live animals or the museum with the stuffed animals. Is it possible he's just using the word wrong?

Weird!! My DS is 4.25 years and knows the difference - I'd be asking for receipts and photos for 'school projects'

also, agree with posters who say you shouldn't pay for CM outings
Our CM would go one one or two "special" outings a year, paid for out of her pocket and the rest was free or low cost activities. TBH, if im going to pay over £20 for my child to do an activity I want to be the one to take them.

£21 for someone else to take your DS somewhere fun I wouldn't be up for that, but I love zoos (I know not popular on MN)

I'm amazed that CM thought she could get away with this if she really did lie. How did she think it would go?

My cm friends always take photos and send them to parents on days out or even fun stuff at toddler group or sitting in garden

Hrm- just FYI also, childminders shouldn't really be charging that sort of money for extras, unless you've specifically requested them. Her expenses for that sort of thing are tax deductible. All CMers I know have yearly family passes to places (like a Merlin pass) and will have it as a tax write off. As a nanny I would expect parents to pay, but not as a childminder.

Exactly, nannies you pay, CM you don't.

And yyy to photos. My CM did this, MY nanny does this, even my friends and I do it if we are out for the day.

But CM need to do so much recording for OFSTED that she would send me photos even if they were just at the local park.

But that makes me wonder, does she do any recording for OFSTED?

I think you need to question your child a bit more, but also try to bump into some parents tomorrow.

I would chat to the other children when I dropped off and ask them if they enjoyed the zoo and which animal they liked best.

I'd also be gauging the CMs reaction.

I'd thank her profusely for taking him and ask if she had any photos she could give you to add to the summer scrap book your DS is making.

I'm finding it difficult to believe the CM would take the DC to a museum and say they went to the zoo

I believe your son.

I took my DD to the zoo when she was about that age and she wasn't interested in any of the animals! So it's possible he may not talk about it if he had been.

I do think it would be v strange to take children to a zoo and take no photos!

If it was Longleat they may have done the house tours which are quite museum-like.

Kids that age do say all kinds of random stuff - not necessarily lying, but not having a firm distinction between reality and fantasy at that age. Also, mixing up zoo and museum could easily happen. My DS aged 8 told me he'd spent the day at "the museum" after a school trip to the Houses of Parliament - because we'd taken him to the Natural History Museum a few weeks before and the buildings looked similar on the outside. The complete absence of dinosaur skeletons didn't seem to matter to him - he was convinced it was the same place

Then again, if your DS saw lots of live animals it would be odd for him not to mention it. But perhaps for whatever reason the indoor parts made more impression on him?

I don't know. It's possible she's scamming you but it'd be a massive risk to take. If all the kids denied all knowledge of having been to the zoo she could find herself out of work quite quickly (but maybe she just is that stupid).

Could you ask the CM which zoo they went to? Then find some photos online and show DS to see if he recognises it?

My brother, when he was 5, told my mum a detailed story about how a coach came to school, picked the kids up and took them to hospital to visit their poorly teacher. He even said they had to be as quiet as mice in the corridors.

Had mum so convinced she had to check with the supply teacher.

He could be pulling your leg

Isn't the evidence logging for OFSTED limited to term time though? Our out of school camps don't send photos. And if the CM normally looks after under 5s she may need to buy tickets for the ad hoc older ones.

I'm not firmly in the CM camp mind, but we're in danger of overthinking it a bit..

I'd be very surprised if the childminder who you trust to look after your child is bare faced lying about it.

Kids say all sorts of bollocks.

Not sure about England but in Scotland CM need to record everything! They need risk assessments for going anywhere and when you are inspected they want photos of everything you have done. Personally if it was me I would have taken loads of photos to fill up the record book as it makes a change from playing in the garden painting etc! Sounds like she is at it to me!

I'd be very suspicious and inclined to believe your child. But children do get mixed up and say things that aren't quite right. I'd definitely be investigating though.

Maybe drive to the museum, don't tell him where you are going and see if he knows. I'd ask him about the animals you know are at the zoo too. Don't ask if he went there again, just start talking about the animals and what has he seen etc just to see what he says.

At 5 years old i would beleive ds

My DD is convinced that the hotel where we go for afternoon tea is a 'museum'.

Ask for the receipt.

Look up the museum website and see if DS can point out bits he really liked..

(I would have believed the story about the man pushing the woman into the bathroom too, even if they both laughed when asked. Especially if they were together when asked.)

How strange!