would you believe ds (5) or the childminder? childminer took ds and the children elsewhere

[user1469643462]

It is the summer holidays so ds has to be with a childminer, for 3 days a week. I pay her for the actual care she provides, then i pay for any visits to places on top of that, they were supposed to be going to the zoo today and i had paid £21 for ds's zoo ticket and i know that isnt loads but tbh with the cost i had already paid for her to look after him it was almost today's wages! ds goes there with 2 boys and a little girl aswell all around the same age give or take. Ds got home and was telling me all about his trip to the local museum (which was free) i did not have a problem with that he seemed to have had a great time. I phoned up the childminder and asked if she could just paypal the money back over and she said that she had no idea what i was going on about and that she took them to the zoo I know children do love to use their imagination, so i was a bit undecided, ds kept going on about the objects he had seen and told me a story about a man showing them the kids bit. ds has never been to this museum and it was just odd how well he was explaining it. I would love to phone the other parents but tbh i dont actually know them! it's all very odd...

Are you seeing her tomorrow?

Why don't you try and make a joke out of it to gauge her reaction, say something like, you know he had a great day yesterday wouldn't stop talking about it, but is so insistent he went to a museum (hehe) and see what she says...ideally if you can say this in front of other parents (do you know what times they may drop off?)

If she's an experienced childminder I can't believe she'd think she could get away with that, not with a 5 year old child. It surely wouldn't be worth the risk to her long term business for the sake of £21?! Can you show your ds some pictures of the zoo or museum and see whether he recognises them?

If he'd been to the zoo, he'd be non-stop talking about the animals, not artifacts in a museum!
What sort of things from the museum was he talking about?

Get in the car and ask your son to show you where they went? If it's close?

Ask her for the ticket as you've read that if you show a previously bought ticket you get a discount on your next one (or you get a discount on a yearly pass) and you're thinking of taking him on your day off.

She has made a canny profit if she stitched a few of u up!! Ask her which museum and google some images and show ds. Sounds like she is a thief!! U need to find a new cm I think! Keep us posted! I am a nanny and hand over tickets /receipts when I take the kids out! Say ds is making a scrap book of the school hols so can u have ticket /photos please??

Have you asked him directly about something at that zoo (eg twycross has a 'human' exhibit - the children's climbing frame is sort of in the middle and I always make a joke to my DC's despair).

He must have been to the zoo at some point to describe it in detail. If he went on a different day then CM's response would have been " oh he's getting muddled we went there on 'X day' " but she denied all knowledge.

Seems unlikely a five year old could invent an entire museum, and not mention a zoo at all. Plus I have never ever been to a zoo with kids and not been forced to buy some sort of gift shop tat - frisk him for pencils/rubbers/plastic zoo junk.

Sorry - he must have been to the museum to describe it

How odd. I would believe your de too. Visit the museum website is a good idea.

When we were fairly old kids, our childminder didn't take us to assigned museum and instead mooched around with her boyfriend while we trailed behind.

So it can happen.

Hmm I'm on the fence with this one. Given your ds's age she would be taking a huge gamble trying to lie knowing he will be able to tell you all about his day. Have you asked you ds if he saw any animals today?

My 5 year old would be able to reliably tell me where they had been that day. Not if I asked him a few days later but definitely would that day.

I think you should be straight up with her, why beat around the bush? Tell her 'ds says he never went to the zoo, and he has described the museum in detail. Sorry to disbelieve, but do you have the ticket stubbs for the day and/or any photos of the day?' If you can, ask her when your ds is in the room, so you can see what their interaction about it all is.

It does sound a bit suss.

But then my children, at much older than 5, can still have the most hectic school hol, with London trip, swimming, even Legoland, and still write at school that they just go went to Asda and watched TV. And I think that's fairly normal. My 7 year old told me, literally today, that she couldn't remember what sort of dancing she did at dance camp today.

Is it possible that the CM has taken him to the museum on a different day? I wouldn't be surprised at a child interchanging the words 'zoo' and 'museum' either - but it sounds like you know enough about the museum's specific exhibits to identify it from his story 100%.

Try picking the "biggest ticket" animals at that zoo - giraffes, elephants, lions - and ask DS if he's ever seen a real live one?

Oh I would look online to see if he recognises it, but I bet there was a bit in tge zoo that was maybe a dinosour exhibit or fossils etc.

What I would say OP- and I Don't say it lightly, if she is lying (and you would need proof other than the word of a 5yr old) she absolutely must be reported. It's a serious safeguarding issue to claim to be somewhere you aren't, what if a child had run off/got injured/needed emergency care?! But you need proof before you make any calls to Ofsted, false accusations are tremendously hurtful

Hmm it seems a bit odd? Your DS would have no reason to lie, surely. Surely seeing a zebra or something would be way more fun than telling a story about a museum? But you should ask him outright whether he liked the zoo. Actually, could you maybe ask him when she is there at drop-off and watch her face?

This is very odd!!

I'd show your DS some photos of both the zoo and the museum and ask which one he's been to. If he says the museum, I'd believe him. At 5 my DS would definitely have known the difference. If it was somewhere like Longleat though, they do have museum type sections.

if she had 3 other children and their parents paid for zoo tickets too, shes made over £80 from you all today...i would ask for all receipts in future if you keep her on.....but i would be looking for someone else and believe my child

I'm also of the frame of mind that if she were lying then she's taking a massive gamble on all the children keeping up the same story. How odd.

My 7 year old told my parents on the last day of school I hadn't picked her up from after school until 7pm. Absolutely not true. She also will swear blind on occasions that she hasn't had her diner when she has. Kids say all sorts of things that aren't true. They aren't necessarily lying, just remembering things different or not understanding at the time.

I'd just ask the CM tomorrow but if she has been a good trustworthy CM then I would be inclined to believe her.

Sorry but I think it really odd that she would expect you to pay for pricey outings - surely that's outside of the remit of a CM?

And if she wanted money off you for outings then she should be giving you the receipts.

What would have happened if one of the parents hadn't wanted to s3nd their dcs to the zoo?

Mine and other CMS I know of only do free/very very cheap stuff day to day.

I have worked with 3-7 year olds a lot.
They make up fantastic stories including a child who told Mum they had green on their top because I had painted them on purpose and my own dd who told me their year teacher had said I was mad and nuts but I would be baffled at a child going to the zoo and not mentioning ANYTHING about the animals at all.