would you believe ds (5) or the childminder? childminer took ds and the children elsewhere

[user1469643462]

It is the summer holidays so ds has to be with a childminer, for 3 days a week. I pay her for the actual care she provides, then i pay for any visits to places on top of that, they were supposed to be going to the zoo today and i had paid £21 for ds's zoo ticket and i know that isnt loads but tbh with the cost i had already paid for her to look after him it was almost today's wages! ds goes there with 2 boys and a little girl aswell all around the same age give or take. Ds got home and was telling me all about his trip to the local museum (which was free) i did not have a problem with that he seemed to have had a great time. I phoned up the childminder and asked if she could just paypal the money back over and she said that she had no idea what i was going on about and that she took them to the zoo I know children do love to use their imagination, so i was a bit undecided, ds kept going on about the objects he had seen and told me a story about a man showing them the kids bit. ds has never been to this museum and it was just odd how well he was explaining it. I would love to phone the other parents but tbh i dont actually know them! it's all very odd...

I am shamelessly place marking!

*been, not eek!

I have a 5 year old. I work with 5 year olds every day. And whilst they can be bright, engaging and articulate, they can also have the most ridiculous stories tucked away in their imaginations that I'd possibly exercise some caution. So ask the CM directly; tell her what your son said when you see her next. You can generally see when someone's lying from their reaction. Just ask. This woman protects and nurtures your most precious possession in the world. If you don't trust her, your child shouldn't be with her. Ask. Put yourself out of this misery.

Howletts and longleat are about that price but the ticket lasts a year (and is non transferable)
Check if it's the same & if so the ticket is yours, you might want to take him again.

Have you asked him about the zoo, or seeing any animals?

Pretty certain he wouldn't be making up a story about tin hats and coins if he'd been to the zoo, Chester Zoo has a dinosaur exhibit at the moment, what 5 year old wouldn't be excited about that?

Blu I love that!

Memoires she said he didn't remember seeing any animals!

Cm would need to keep receipt for her tax- at least her own ticket.
She should also have a risk assessment and a permission slip of where she went with parents signature on.
If she said she was going to Zoo and went to museum instead she needs your permission.

I would never charge for days out but I would never go to anything that pricey either. You put parents in a difficult position asking them to pay and what if they don't want to and refuse but the other families are all for it?! Far too much potential for problems.

OP, if your DS has given you a really accurate description of exhibits that you know to be at your local museum, I am feeling much more inclined to believe your DS. You know your own DS. Have there been past occasions when he has very convincingly told you things that turned out not to be true? If not, then if I were in your position, I would be raising it with the childminder.

Just a thought, Chester has a Roman museum 2 of my dc's have been that sounds more like tin hats and coins. It even has coins on its website's front page. The prices are much cheaper than the zoo, ask your ds if that is where they went today.

I'm in two minds as I have a 10yo who told someone the other day that we had nothing planned for the holidays and that "Mummy will just be working". We're going to Legoland, Warwick castle, Thorpe Park, Chessington, Alton Towers (all courtesy of the Sun perks!), plus two weeks holiday abroad, but all he will remember are the days that I'm working. Although I would find it odd if he didn't talk about a trip on the day he'd been on it, so, on that basis, I might be inclined to believe him.

Having forked out £22 , the childminder should have sent pics: your kids, their memories and your money.

Are you in Liverpool, OP? Do you think he went to the museum there?

www.dewaromanexperience.co.uk/details.html

This is Chester's Roman museum

I'd ask to see the receipt 'for your own records'. Take a picture of it or something. Be sure to check the date on the receipt.

Hmm. Both my dds were absolutely reliable at that age, in fact from far smaller. Dd1 has an incredible memory and would recount whole conversations between adults, even months later. I could have asked them at two or three about the zoo and got a proper response. DD2 has a friend though, an enchanting child, who (aged 8) said that he was spending half term being taught to paraglide by Bear Grylls. We half believed the BG element, esp dd2, as he was so convincing (and BG lives fairly near, so it seemed possible) the paragliding element seemed er..unlikely to all of us bar dd2. DH bumped into the friend's Mum, and mentioned BG, the Mum looked surprised! No, he wasn't having lessons from Bear in his half term. So although my dds have never done this, and are baffled by those who do (and even upset). Many children do make up stories about things they do. I think they tend to be one type or the other. I happen to have bred uber pedants. However, the detail here is strange. I do think if any small person goes to the zoo, they come home full of excitement about the animals . If he really can't remember seeing a single animal, then I would find that very odd. You know your son OP, you know if he is accurate about things or more woolly, whether he likes to recount detail or if he lives in his imagination more. So what do you think? Does he enjoy making up things up, or is he usually straightforward about what happens in his day? If he was a toddler I could see how you might not be sure, but at 5, you know him, so I would go with what you feel to be the truth.

oh maybe... i have never been there before, I'll have to ask more questions when he wakes up tomorrow! No, he hasn't ever lied about something like this, we've had the odd 'there is a dinosaur in my room and a whale in the bath' etc, but nothing actually plausible.

The reason I question it is because of the way she seemed so surprised that I even mentioned something like that, with the 'A museum?' question at the end... And as she has been good, I'd hate to call her out on it again, iyswim

Missing the point perhaps but I'm curious about why she would pay the full price of £22 per child for a planned trip. There's a discount of at least 10% for online bookings. And wouldn't she also qualify for a family ticket if she took several children? That should work out even cheaper per person. Although she may have annual membership for herself already.

Ask her what he thought of the monkeys (for example) as he is normally really frightened of them. Were there any tears? What was his favourite animal?
Watch her reactions

Asking for receipts and tickets should be standard practice.

Most people provide them when they travel for work or expenses. A childminder should be no different. And if she refuses or fobs you off, then you'd be justified in looking for someone else.

Yes, I think not providing receipts as a matter of course is bad practice.

I'd clear that up for the future, if I were you, regardless.

He's given too much specific detail about the museum for it to be a fantastic lie. There are no tin hats or gold coins at Chester zoo. There are however plenty of other more exciting things for a 4 year old to ramble about.