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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that people are downplaying my achievement?

483 replies

FruitCider · 27/07/2016 18:22

I feel very upset.

I found out this week that I'm graduating with a First, only just scraped one but its 70+ nethertheless.

I got really excited and posted it on my Facebook wall, and I've had really horrible comments such as "no one likes a show off", "getting a first won't make you better at your job", "I have got a 2:1, at least I had fun during my degree instead of spending my time with my nose in textbooks", "your employer won't care".

AIBU for just wanting a bit of recognition that I've done bloody well?!?!? My partner doesn't even know what it means, how do I explain it to him?

Feeling very woe is me. Sorry Confused

OP posts:
notagiraffe · 27/07/2016 19:38

Fantastic. that's a staggering achievement. really hard to do. And what saddos to think having fun is more worth while than a couple of years hard graft. I bet you had fun too and will continue to.

All that shows is who to cull from your FB friends. You want to mix with people who are proud of their friends' achievements and support you to do your best.

SeaEagleFeather · 27/07/2016 19:38

However, I wouldn't have had fun if I hadn't been at a respected and ancient university

You poor thing. Secure and happy people don't find snide snobbery essential to be able to enjoy themselves.

FaFoutis · 27/07/2016 19:38

it's the institution which really counts not the degree classification
Bollocks.

lucjam2105 · 27/07/2016 19:38

Wow bloody brilliant many many congratulations to you! Please ignore your miserable fb friends, maybe time for a cull I think if you can't be happy for a friend then maybe you shouldn't be friends!

BugsyStar30 · 27/07/2016 19:39

Nothing but petty jealousy. You should be so proud of yourself and don't let those idiots take that away from you.

TuppencePenny · 27/07/2016 19:39

People are jealous and your employer will care. Congratulations!

ailith · 27/07/2016 19:39

Are you allowed to call posters "trolls" on this site, just because their opinion does not chime with that of the majority?

INeedNewShoes · 27/07/2016 19:39

Congratulations OP!

Sounds like sour grapes to me as far as your 'friends'' comments go. People are just so bloody weird about others successes sometimes.

You absolutely should be proud of your 1:1!

KennyTwat · 27/07/2016 19:40

As someone who frequently uses the Mental Health system, I think it's fantastic that someone who obviously knows their stuff is going to be treating me and loved ones in years to come.

Many many congratulations Cake Wine

WaitrosePigeon · 27/07/2016 19:40

I don't think you are a troll but I think the way you've portrayed yourself on this thread is very telling indeed.

imother · 27/07/2016 19:40

Oi ailith over here.
I'd like to share my knowledge and experience of HE with you.

Firstly all degrees are moderated so that they are of the same standard.

Secondly, the difference between Oxbridge and non RG institutions is not the standard of the degree (see above) but the focus on pg research.

Thirdly, just because your snobbishness is about HE doesn't negate the fact that you are a snob and ridiculous with it.

OP Well done. You got the highest mark it is possible to get! That's very worth having and you should be brimming with pride. Star Star Star Star Star

MammaTJ · 27/07/2016 19:41

Very well done FruitCider. As someone who had to leave after year 2 of a nursing degree (adult), I know how hard you have had to work to achieve this!

Some of my friends did not get firsts and the comments your 'friends' have made are more appropriate as comforting words to them, not congratulations to someone who did so well.

RiverTam · 27/07/2016 19:43

I recently worked for a publisher focussing on careers books and getting into uni stuff. It is not the case any more that the 'best' unis for many subjects, especially non-humanities subjects are the traditional or RG unis. And emitters in those fields know this, more than done random idiot on MN. Plus it is hardly the OP's fault that nursing is now a degree subject. She has done very well indeed.

But I'd be having words with your DP, OP, what he said was rather crap.

Cocolepew · 27/07/2016 19:43

Fuck them.
Congratulations you must be very proud StarWine

RiverTam · 27/07/2016 19:44

Emitters?? Employers!

wiccamum · 27/07/2016 19:44

OP, well done, this is a fantastic achievement, you've worked hard and have every right to be proud.

ailith...back off the OP love. I'm a nurse, with a diploma, degree and a masters ( I didn't get a first OP). And I can tell you that it is bloody hard work. The pressure on nurses to achieve academically, as well as all be bloody Florence bleeding Nightingales with "true vocation" is immense. The OP has moved into a challenging area by choosing mental health. If you are ever in need of a nurse, what kind do YOU want? Someone who is dedicated to being the best nurse they can? Or someone who pissed about at uni for the "life experience"?

Skiptonlass · 27/07/2016 19:45

Oh and I had a metric fuckton of fun at uni too. Dancing, hiking, scuba diving, rock climbing, nights out... Tons of fun.
I also worked hard.

hunibuni · 27/07/2016 19:46

ailih Let's hope if you ever need a nurse you get one who knows how to

  1. read and understand your blood test/ECG/blood gas results
  2. understand how the drugs that might be used for your treatment work, and explain it to you in a way that you can understand, as well as any side effects/interactions
  3. has advanced disease knowledge

Because these are just a few of the things that we have learn in our vocational degree that ever one disparages. Any wonder nobody wants to train as a nurse...

BoreOfWhabylon · 27/07/2016 19:47

Congratulations OP, that's a HUGE achievement Star

(from a very very old nurse, who finished her degree 25 years ago didn't get a first though Grin )

ailith · 27/07/2016 19:47

WaitrosePigeon:
People generally differentiate when they are looking for the right place at which to study. My university was founded in the 15th Century. Being there was a huge privilege.

BadToTheBone · 27/07/2016 19:48

Tell them all to go boil their heads!

Well done, that's bloody marvellous!!

AyeAmarok · 27/07/2016 19:49

ailith, what gives? Confused

OP wanted to be a mental health nurse. A degree from an ancient Russell Group university in law wouldn't have helped her much with that.

So she went to a (probably) newer university to do a mental health nursing degree, and did it really, really well.

Why the need to be so snidey? This isn't a thread discussing the merits of the expansion of degrees.

BoreOfWhabylon · 27/07/2016 19:50

Oh, and ailith

I'm afraid your posts sound like something a meanspirited goadyfucker might write.

So I've reported them.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 27/07/2016 19:52

Bore off Ailith. Isn't there a puppy you could be tormenting floating about somewhere?

thisisafakename · 27/07/2016 19:53

The only thing I would say though (because I am pedantic and anal): law is not a vocational degree despite what people have said on here. It's an academic discipline and an undergraduate law degree does not train you for legal practice. It's very different to true vocational degrees such as nursing or education. But that's slightly beside the point.

Ailith, it's a shame that social skills were not taught at your university. I honestly cannot see how anyone could think it's appropriate to say those things to someone who has just accomplished something great (especially given that she left school with no qualifications and went back in her late 20's/early 30's). That requires serious dedication. I hope you're not like this in real life.