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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU nail polish aged 4.5

140 replies

MoonStar07 · 27/07/2016 15:58

My 4.5 DD is desperate for nail polish. AIBU by not allowing it? I came from a strict upbringing and I wasn't allowed to wear make up or cut my hair until I was around 14-15. I actually really would love to paint her toenails and I think it looks super cute. But on the other hand inside me I feel like she's too young. Her cousins of the same age do. But they're off a different cultural heritage to me. I married out of culture and faith. It's bothering me because I want my little girl to enjoy being a little girl. But I'm quite anti very girly stuff. When I was young Toys etc were more mixed. Eg no girl Lego or boy Lego and I remember doing lots of meccano when I was about 10. AIBU? Should I let her paint her nails? Or I paint them for her? Thanks

OP posts:

Ilovetea82 · 27/07/2016 16:00

I think a little bit of nail polish isn't going to lead to a life of disrepute.
I was allowed nail polish (but not make up) when I was small, it was a nice treat to do with my mum, perhaps do it for her to show her what to do and let her do yours and then show her how to remove it as well. She will probably get bored of it!

SantanaLopez · 27/07/2016 16:00

There's nothing more childlike than having nails which are all different colours :)

NavyandWhite · 27/07/2016 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 27/07/2016 16:02

Boys can have painted nails too. My ds aged 4 sometimes likes me to do his toenails.

It's just nail colour. You won't scar her or you for life you know. It doesn't suddenly make her a teen because you put nail polish on her...!

NeedACleverNN · 27/07/2016 16:03

Give her a bit of nail polish.

For that's what she wants. It's not too adult like makeup is. It's just a bit of fun

timelytess · 27/07/2016 16:03

Gave some to my dgd, similar age, a few weeks ago. Don't know if she's tried it or not. It was from Claire's, water based and peel off. In charming teeny-tiny bottles. Would you have denied your child nail varnish if she'd been a boy? Certainly not. So why deny a girl?

davos · 27/07/2016 16:03

But I'm quite anti very girly stuff.

why? If she likes 'girly' stuff, what's the issue?

Both my kids (a Ds and a Dd) have both had nail varnish on at around 3. Old enough to not eat it off their fingers.

Personally if Ds or Dd want something 'girly' they can have it. I am anti having girly stuff forced on kids. But not just simply anti girly stuff.

MarklahMarklah · 27/07/2016 16:04

If you don't want nail varnish on the walls/carpet/pet/car then probably best to paint her nails yourself.
I wasn't allowed to dye my hair or paint my nails until my teens. DD's 5 and is allowed crazy hair ends during school holidays, henna tattoos and nail polish.

Amelie10 · 27/07/2016 16:04

I wouldn't mind, it's just a bit of fun. You get the peel off ones, she will love those.

MrsBungle · 27/07/2016 16:05

My 4 year old ds is currently sporting glittery toe nails and so is my 7 year old dd.

Original poster

MoonStar07 · 27/07/2016 16:05

Yes perhaps I should let her buy some as a treat. A bribe for good behaviour! Summer hols are alredy challenging. I'll look into the Claire's stuff! I'm actually quite excited now lol

OP posts:

PandasRock · 27/07/2016 16:05

I struggled when my dds were younger.

On the one hand, lots of fun - crazy colours, glitter etc. On the other - first steps towards a life of 'beautification' and I felt they were a bit young to start all that.

They now have regular nail polish

Dd1 is 11, has severe ASD, and loves having her nails done. She is allowed it at school too, so permanently has colourful nails.

Dd2 is 9, and has polish in the holidays.

Ds is 4, and has his done too . Which makes me a complete hypocrite as his sister's weren't allowed it so young, but then I'd feel worse saying no and don't want to make it look like a boy/girl divide, so rock>me

ThatsMyStapler · 27/07/2016 16:06

" I want my little girl to enjoy being a little girl. But I'm quite anti very girly stuff"

This is more about what you want than what she wants, she wants to put colours on her nails, not become a surrendered wifelet

VashtaNerada · 27/07/2016 16:07

I think it's fine if you see it on a par with face painting. So it's not about looking beautiful but more about dressing up and having fun with the different colours.

NeedACleverNN · 27/07/2016 16:07

Just because you are anti-girly doesn't mean you should force that view on your Dd.

If she wants to wear a pink tutu, spinning round with pink nails singing all about unicorns, let her!

She's her own person. Just like you are.

My Dd is very much a girly girl but loves playing with cars. We've just ordered her a toilet seat and she chose to have the buzz Lightyear one over a girly one. That's her own preference and personality

DerelictMyBalls · 27/07/2016 16:07

I let my DS have nail polish. It's just a bit of fun and doesnt mean anything.

ButtonBoo · 27/07/2016 16:08

I paint DDs (4.5) toenails sometimes. Usually for parties or special occasions. Then I clean it off the next day. She doesn't really ask me any other time. She loves having each toenail a different colour...rainbow toes! I don't paint her fingernails though. And draw the line at bright red toenails!

DurhamDurham · 27/07/2016 16:10

My girls are 23 and 19 now, I remember doing their nails in bright colours when they were little when they weren't at school. They loved it and I don't see anything wrong with it at all, if anyone sees anything 'sexual' about it they're just weird.

Original poster

MoonStar07 · 27/07/2016 16:10

Nothing to do with wife lets or whatever that means. Just a value system I grew up with and find it uncomfortable challenging it. It did me no harm. And I'm no wife let! Or whatever that is.

OP posts:

Kalispera · 27/07/2016 16:11

It's just fun. I do my daughters and my sons every Sunday! Just in the holidays though.

Original poster

MoonStar07 · 27/07/2016 16:11

I'll have to take her to Claire's

OP posts:

someonescj · 27/07/2016 16:11

My DD has had painted finger and toe nails from the age of 2, she's 3.5 now and has children's peel off polish (can get it from poundland/Claires etc) I don't see any harm in it and it makes her happy

DoinItFine · 27/07/2016 16:12

Which makes me a complete hypocrite as his sister's weren't allowed it so young

By the 3rd one, so many of the early rules have been jettisoned!

It's experience. (Not declining standards. Oh no.)

PandasRock · 27/07/2016 16:16

Yep, Doin

Works both ways - Ds is sometimes the completely neglected third child, and sometimes gets extra perks. That's life, innit?

BorpBorpBorp · 27/07/2016 16:16

The only worry I might have is if she sucks her fingers or has her fingers in her mouth a lot. If that's not an issue, no problem. It's in the same category to me as wearing plastic bracelets or cute hairclips.

If you want to ameliorate the harm that might be inflicted on your daughter by cultural perceptions of femininity, one of the best things you can do is to teach her that her body belongs to her and she can do what she likes with it. Letting her paint her nails if she wants to is part of that.

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