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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU nail polish aged 4.5

140 replies

MoonStar07 · 27/07/2016 15:58

My 4.5 DD is desperate for nail polish. AIBU by not allowing it? I came from a strict upbringing and I wasn't allowed to wear make up or cut my hair until I was around 14-15. I actually really would love to paint her toenails and I think it looks super cute. But on the other hand inside me I feel like she's too young. Her cousins of the same age do. But they're off a different cultural heritage to me. I married out of culture and faith. It's bothering me because I want my little girl to enjoy being a little girl. But I'm quite anti very girly stuff. When I was young Toys etc were more mixed. Eg no girl Lego or boy Lego and I remember doing lots of meccano when I was about 10. AIBU? Should I let her paint her nails? Or I paint them for her? Thanks

OP posts:
GoodGirlGoneWrong · 27/07/2016 17:20

Both of my children like having their toes painted.

A fun 30 mins on a Sunday afternoon while I paint mine, I even let them choose the colour.

Juanbablo · 27/07/2016 18:58

I've been allowing dd to have painted nails on occasion since she was about 3 and my ds's sometimes join in too. Dd is into lots of "girly" things and likes to play with make up and she had her ears pierced for her 6th birthday. She sees me with all these things so she thinks it's fun and normal and why shouldn't I allow her to experience it too?

Shazzni · 28/07/2016 12:49

My daughter is almost 4 and it has been our bonding girly time for months now that we do our nails once a week. Sometimes we have pretend play where I am her customer at the beauty room n let her brush my hair and paint my nails then we swap roles etc it's good fun and the peelable nail varnish is usually worn off by the next day 😂😂

limon · 28/07/2016 12:51

Yabu. It's not going g to harm her. Deny her and she will want it more ime.

ayeokthen · 28/07/2016 14:35

Our dd loves having her toenails painted, she's 3. Only because she wants to copy mummy and I've always got my toes painted. I'm generally crap at other girly stuff although she loves it so I'm making more of an effort to try and learn it all because she enjoys it.

MrsMook · 28/07/2016 14:39

My DSs (5 and 3) love painting their nails. I have a diverse assortment of just about any colour. It's just a fun colour. Give them paint or felt tips and they decorate their bodies too!

In my youth, I used to paint my nails in beautiful rainbows. My nails grew long and they were my pride and joy. It didn't stop me doing active things like swimming and hiking. I'm not fussed about any other beautifying. My hair and face are usually in their natural state.

Pastaagain78 · 28/07/2016 14:39

DS2 aged 5 is currently sporting blue fingernails and blue toenails! He loves it. A bit of fun for the holidays.

feralgirl · 28/07/2016 14:40

OP, I get what you mean about being "anti-girly" I think; it's not so much about denying our DDs the fun, more a worry that them feeling that being pretty is what girls are 'for'. I struggle with it too but I think everything's fine in moderation.

I was never allowed things like nail varnish as a kid but DH and I regularly paint both DS (7) and DD's (5) nails just for the funs. My mum hates it and does full-on judgey face, just like she has done at DS's holiday Mohawk hair. Biscuit

TheNumberfaker · 28/07/2016 14:50

I agree with the pp that it's on a par with face paint. Fun and colourful is great.
My two DDs love it as a holiday treat. No way would I let them loose with proper makeup though!

LockedOutOfMN · 28/07/2016 14:54

My daughter's 5 and I don't allow nail polish; I think it looks really tarty on little girls. Luckily only a few of her friends are allowed it so she's not the odd one out. I will give in when she's 8 or 9 (if she asks!)

CatNip2 · 28/07/2016 14:57

I wouldn't let her have a bottle of it in her possession, your carpets, furniture, clothes have a good chance of getting ruined.

However during the summer holidays, I would paint her fingernails in bright blue if she wanted, yes.

TheSparrowhawk · 28/07/2016 14:59

'My daughter's 5 and I don't allow nail polish; I think it looks really tarty on little girls.'

Jesus fucking christ.

squoosh · 28/07/2016 14:59

I think it looks really tarty on little girls.

That says a lot more about you to be honest.

RiverTam · 28/07/2016 15:00

I do DD's every now and then. I have two rules, neither of which would really stand up to scrutiny, but they are toe nails only and no red. I haven't bought anything special, she just has colours that I have (other than red!).

TheSparrowhawk · 28/07/2016 15:00

Why only toenails and no red River?

Whataboutwhathuh · 28/07/2016 15:02

My three year old ds loves anything pretty. He asked me to paint his nails so has blue toes and taupe fingers. I'd rather be spending some them with him doing that than reinforcing gender stereotypes.

SpareHead3 · 28/07/2016 15:02

My dds liked nail polish sometimes when they were that age. I seem to remember ds wanting a go too. It was only for fun because they thought it looked different. They didn't get obsessed with makeup or their appearance because of it. They liked a bit of glitter on their cheeks too sometimes, esp when dressing up.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 28/07/2016 15:03

Super drug have some good deals on & loads of colours. Some quite nice ones in the 80p range even. We bought quite a few so we could have spots & stripes 😁

Atinybittiredandsad · 28/07/2016 15:07

Let her develop her own personality and likes op. You did yours when you say 'you don't like girly things' maybe your dd will and that's fine.

She's her own person. Paint her nails. Grin

SheHasAWildHeart · 28/07/2016 15:07

DD loves nail stickers too, although tbh they never last very long!

Atinybittiredandsad · 28/07/2016 15:09

Locked how on earth can you even think of the word tarty applied to s young child? Vile.

lozzylizzy · 28/07/2016 15:09

My daughter who is 2.5 is very girly in the way that she has a natural attraction to nail polish, lipstick and Disney princesses. She also likes pink and Baby Annabel dolls. However she prefers to wear trousers, TShirts, Baseball caps and trainers and likes to dig in the dirt with her fingers!!! Her hair is always unkempt as well.

Its all just play, and as a pp said boys like nails doing too. My nephew used to have blue and green stars painted on his.

PeppermintPasty · 28/07/2016 15:15

Yes yes to polish, it's such a lovely thing to do now and again.

Just a tip though, don't bother with any of that stuff marketed at children ie Disney nail varnish or something like that, it's rubbish! Can't see it at all. What you want are all the current cool rainbow of colours you get for adults, they look amazing. I have lots of that Rimmel stuff; my dd, and my ds (less so now as he's 9 and too cool Hmm) love putting a different colour on each finger.

dodobookends · 28/07/2016 15:16

How about a compromise - clear nail varnish? Looks nice and shiny close-up, and pretty much invisible from a few feet away. It would help you get used to the idea as well, if you are unsure. Smile

stealthsquiggle · 28/07/2016 15:17

Tarty? FGS. As PP have said, tartiness is in the eye of the beholder.

I let DD have painted nails in the holidays. I am as anti "girly" stuff as anyone, and would no way let her have make up or pierced ears, but funky painted nails are to long red talons as face paint is to full make up IMHO.