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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with our nanny?

115 replies

lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 19:05

Our part time nanny took my disabled 4 year old and 1 year old to Chessington today. I said she could use our annual pass to take the children there anytime she wanted and last week she told me her 24 year old son was going to go with her to help her, to which I replied, "That's nice of him". She came back with a bill of £47.50 for his ticket! If she had asked me in advance I would have told her not to take them if me paying for his ticket was the deal, the annual pass was only a few quid more than his ticket and was a birthday present from my mum. I feel there isn't much I can do now it's done, other than not let her take them there again :(

OP posts:
insancerre · 26/07/2016 19:07

Yanbu
I hope you didn't pay it

Ouriana · 26/07/2016 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 19:37

I'm reluctant to start a row as she's our next door neighbour. She's only ever had admin jobs before and I think she's used to expensing everything. Her timesheets include a lot of petrol and parking

OP posts:
Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 19:49

She's told me she is going to put it in her invoice as she put it on her credit card

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 26/07/2016 19:50

Don't pay it!

She's a chancer. You technically paid for your own children. She should pay for hers

someonescj · 26/07/2016 19:52

What a joker, it's not as if she needed her son there to help, I'd be tempted to ask her why she feels you should pay for her son!

insancerre · 26/07/2016 19:53

I would send the in voice back and ask her to remove it
Have you agreed to pay petrol and parking? Is it in her contract? You did give her a contract?

Goingtobeawesome · 26/07/2016 19:56

If you pay this you'll be paying for all sorts of stuff. Don't pay it.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 26/07/2016 19:56

She gives you an invoice? So do you have a different relationship to the normal employer/employee?

TheoriginalLEM · 26/07/2016 19:58

I'd not pay her and consider getting someone better qualified.

insancerre · 26/07/2016 20:01

Is she a nanny who cares for her son in your home or a childminder who cares for him in her own home?
Employees don't normally issue invoices to their employers

Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 20:16

Yes, she's a self employed carer/mothers help to my son and his (normal) 1 year old sister. We pay a bit more than the going rate as she's self employed. The 'contract' is an email to her where I laid out agreed rates, way of invoicing etc inc £10 petrol a month for pick up from nursery 5 mins away 4 times a week when she started. It took me months to find her and she's great with the children, keeps the house from being overwhelmed by their muddle and is nice to have around. I also trust her with my not-very-easy disabled son. It's just this issue today that's the problem.

OP posts:
springwaters · 26/07/2016 20:55

Could you manage both children at Chessington alone? Is it reasonable?

Pearlman · 26/07/2016 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VimFuego101 · 26/07/2016 20:59

Could you manage both children at Chessington alone? Is it reasonable?

this is the key, I think. But either way, she should have asked you first and checked whether you were OK with her son looking after your child.

AChickenNamedDirk · 26/07/2016 21:00

She should have asked but agree two kids alone at chessington is hard esp if one has extra needs.

Could you offer her half ?

arethereanyleftatall · 26/07/2016 21:01

I was thinking that Spring. I would imagine she needed the help.,
But I thought at chessington the 1yr old & disabled child are free anyway, plus1 carer goes in for free, so the annual pass is irrelevant?

Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 21:03

Well that's a good question, springwaters. I said to her that Chessington was an option as a day out if she wanted to go with the pass but that I thought it'd be only possible to go to the zoo part with as obviously rides need 121, so before her son was joining her that's what she was going to do.

OP posts:
insancerre · 26/07/2016 21:04

Does her son have a dbs?

Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 21:04

Most places, Chessington included the disabled child isn't free, just their Carer. So we have an annual pass for him and whoever's with him is free. 1 yr old is free.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 26/07/2016 21:05

Since at no point did she mention that she wanted you to pay for her son, I would certainly not be paying for him.

But..I would say that it's very unusual for a nanny to be self-employed. Unless she's a temp nanny or works for a lot if families at the same time, it's very unlikely that she would fit the criteria for self-employment as laid out by HMRC and you could be landed with a huge tax bill.

fastdaytears · 26/07/2016 21:06

normal Hmm

WipsGlitter · 26/07/2016 21:07

Don't pay. That's just bonkers. It was her choice to bring him.

RosieandJim89 · 26/07/2016 21:08

I wouldn't be happy with this. I would perhaps have a discussion about it and offer to pay half as a gesture but make it clear that in future you do not feel it is appropriate.

Original poster
lilythemonkey · 26/07/2016 21:10

It has been agreed with our direct payments manager that she's self employed so we consider it all above board

OP posts:
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