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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about the postman and my daughter's beautiful hair.

299 replies

Rosae · 26/07/2016 12:40

My 13 month old daughter has (what I consider to be) beautiful ginger hair. Very ginger.
While signing for a parcel today the royal mail postman commented to me ' she is quite the ginge isn't she? You'll wanna be getting some hair dye for that soon' with a little snigger after it. I'm not very good or fast with comebacks so just looked at him I shock then went back in.
AIBU that this comment made me upset and worried about the future for her? My hubby has strawberry blonde hair and got badly teased and bullied for it at school.
Friends sometimes make jokes about it but in a more lovingly teasing way that I brush off in general and say 'yes she's gorgeous isn't she? ' Should I be stopping it?

OP posts:
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7
alltouchedout · 26/07/2016 13:04

Ds1 was a gorgeous, very bright ginger at birth, then a startlingly lovely white blonde for years, now has ended up a beautiful strawberry blonde. A couple of kids in his class have been mean to him (calling him ginger nut) but tbh those kids would be mean to anyone about anything, if it wasn't his hair they'd find something else. And Ds1 is not a shy, retiring type- he is quite happy to tell people to shut up. No one has ever said anything negative about his hair to me or in my hearing and if they did I would tell them to shut up. No need for witty comebacks, just a simple "don't be so rude" will do.

Sootica · 26/07/2016 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KP86 · 26/07/2016 13:05

I love naturally red hair! It's 100% gorgeous.

LunaLoveg00d · 26/07/2016 13:06

Move to Scotland - it won't be anything worth remarking on. I have one child with very coppery red hair (hate the term ginger) and there are two others in his class. He doesn't stand out at all and nobody has ever teased him about it.

Alasalas2 · 26/07/2016 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LolaStarr · 26/07/2016 13:07

Should have told him to fuck off. I absolutely LOVE ginger hair, I'm blonde naturally and I've dyed mine ginger a few times.

wornoutboots · 26/07/2016 13:07

complain. Totally out of order.

btw if beautiful ginger hair is to be mocked, why are there so very many ginger hair dyes available? because those of us without it covet it, that's why.

LunaLoveg00d · 26/07/2016 13:08

Oh and meant to add that the best response to this sort of thing is "I'm sorry, did you mean to be so rude?"

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 26/07/2016 13:08

I thought my little daughter was going to be my little carrot top. She seems to be more blonde now. I thought it was a beautiful colour on her and saw a little girl in a shop and thought the same thing.

People are very rude about ginger people. I don't understand it. To me it's the same markings as saying something about the colour of someone's skin

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 26/07/2016 13:08

Red hair is just beautiful. Complain about the postman and go back to knowing just how gorgeous her hair actually is b

scarednoob · 26/07/2016 13:10

What a nob. I was desperate for red hair when I was a little girl - all the best book characters (Anne Shirley, jinny manders) have long red hair! Now I'm older, I sometimes have it coloured what my DP lovingly refers to as "electric copper".

Ignore the prick, you are right, your DD's hair sounds beautiful!

averylongtimeago · 26/07/2016 13:11

DH has red hair, as do my dd and dgs, lots of my wider family do. Why is in ok to be so negative about red hair? If the same comments were being made say about afro-Caribbean type hair, it would be classed as racism , not laughed off as a joke. I pull people up every time I hear this type of comment.

Scarydinosaurs · 26/07/2016 13:11

What a twat.

I love red hair, he was a rude stupid unimaginative man.

horseygeorgie1 · 26/07/2016 13:12

What a twat. I'm a redhead and love it but it still seems acceptable for idiots to make comments and 'jokes' about it. I had a bit of a tough time at school for it unfortunately but it has served me well as an adult! I have masses of long, very red hair and wouldn't change it for anything.

Daisygarden · 26/07/2016 13:13

I love red hair. Looks beautiful.

Sadly there are still some old-school people who make behind the times comments like this. If I were you I'd learn some stock answers in anticipation of coming across the odd arse. It happens.

To the postman, my mum would definitely have said something smart like: "And while I'm there I'll buy some socks to shove in your mouth". Or "It's not hair dye she needs, it's a new bloody postman". Or "She might be quite the ginge, but I've got quite the temper so I'd stop making cracks like that if I were you".

Then she would have slammed the door.

Not saying she's right but I tell you what, nobody mess with my mama!

ImogenTubbs · 26/07/2016 13:13

Sounds like an opportunity for the classic Mumsnet head tilt and a "Did you mean to be so rude?" What an eejit. Red hair is beautiful.

whiteonesugar · 26/07/2016 13:13

My DS is 17months and has gorgeous bright ginger hair. I love it. He gets lots of positive comments but also had a few negative which are met with a glare.

I hate that people think its ok to make fun of redheads. Its not ok to laugh at a persons skin colour so what makes people think its ok to laugh at hair colour? It's exactly the same IMO.

GnomeDePlume · 26/07/2016 13:13

I would complain.

Sadly this seems to be the last 'okay' 'ism. It isnt okay of course. Make a similar comment about someone's skin colour rather than their hair colour and there would be no suggestions to laugh it off.

The comments and hatred I have heard have been truly horrific. These have been comments made by responsible professional people.

jimblejambles · 26/07/2016 13:15

Ds1 is strawberry blonde and has never had a negative reaction. Dd however is a darker red and people always have something to say. When she was a few weeks old a woman looked in the pram and told me she would have an abortion if she had a red headed child and was I ready for her to be bullied. I was in shock and didn't know what to say luckily ds2 (who was 6) told her dd was beautiful, she was rude and he would stop anyone who'd bully her.
No idea why people feel they have the right to comment. As a previous poster said either make a comment back about them or perfect a withering look.

BettyDraper1 · 26/07/2016 13:19

I have a theory that these sort of 'stock responses' just arise from basic stupidity. People who can't think of something to say just state the obvious, or if there is a 'received' joke in it, they'll say that, to look a bit wittier.

I don't think people are trying to be nasty, I just don't think that they are very bright. Hence, I get frequent comments about my height, or the fact that I wear glasses.

datingbarb · 26/07/2016 13:19

He's a dick red/ginger hair is beautiful

My dd9 has red hair and he loves it, she knows it different and is proud of it

I would love red hair, saw a young girl at the weekend around 19 with waist length wavy think hair it was stunning

I have toyed for years weather I should go red, sadly unlike the girl I saw I have fine shoulder length hair like my dd does

CreamCrackerundertheSettee · 26/07/2016 13:20

What a bellend!

My dd2 has red hair and people comment a lot, probably because DH and I have brown hair. 'Is she the milkman's?' is v popular. Also 'are you Irish?', 'where did she get her ginger genes from?' Etc.

PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass · 26/07/2016 13:20

I detest the word ginger. It's red hair and it comes in so many beautiful shades. Ex DH had red hair, DP has red hair and so does DS1. DS2 has red in his brown hair. I love it and wish mine was red too. I'd have said ' fuck off you cheeky cunt' to the postman but then I'm not known for holding back. Op your DD has beautiful hair as I'm sure you know. Here's a pic of DS1s hair when he first started to grow it, it's much longer now and I have severe hair envy.

about the postman and my daughter's beautiful hair.
Shizzlestix · 26/07/2016 13:22

He's a twat. I would complain. Does he remark on skin colour too? That was an unnecessarily offensively rude thing for him to have said and a verbal attack on your daughter in her own home.

BlueLeopard · 26/07/2016 13:22

You see, the cunts are copped on enough to realise that if they say it about any other ethnic attribute its not acceptable, so Ginger bashing is the last place they can get away with their disgusting bigotry. I see it as no different to racism tbh.

I speak as a child who was horrendously bullied for my red hair. And I have never dyed it - I adore it. Why wouldnt I? Women pay a bloody fortune in a salon to get a similar hair colour and Nature gives it to me for free.

He's a wanker. Report him.