about the postman and my daughter's beautiful hair.

[Rosae]

My 13 month old daughter has (what I consider to be) beautiful ginger hair. Very ginger.
While signing for a parcel today the royal mail postman commented to me ' she is quite the ginge isn't she? You'll wanna be getting some hair dye for that soon' with a little snigger after it. I'm not very good or fast with comebacks so just looked at him I shock then went back in.
AIBU that this comment made me upset and worried about the future for her? My hubby has strawberry blonde hair and got badly teased and bullied for it at school.
Friends sometimes make jokes about it but in a more lovingly teasing way that I brush off in general and say 'yes she's gorgeous isn't she? ' Should I be stopping it?

Lol worra. No retraction. Anyone know if there is another delivery company that wears red? Not interested in the press tho. An important issue but last thing I'd wanna do is add something else to the list of things my dd can be bullied for. So far she's likely to be short, with glasses, asthma and (beautiful) ginger hair. Don't need to add the mum that got you in the papers as a baby too!

OP, he might still have been a Royal Mail postman. We have a parcel delivery in a van before our regular post, sometimes by the same postie but sometimes by a different one. I would complain, definitely. Unutterably rude and unacceptable. I've been lucky so far in that my little red-head has had nothing but positive comments about his hair, and is infact now bemoaning the fact that it's going more strawberry blond as he gets older, as he loved being a 'ginger ninja'. The stigma does seem to be receding but sadly it's clearly still out there :( I agree with the poster who said red hair is on-trend though - a friend's teenage daughter took a photo of my DS into Boots a couple of years back and asked for hair dye 'Exactly THIS colour!' and was most disgruntled to be unable to get an exact match!

Just wanted people to know we are being watched

waves to lazy journalists

Next time you see him tell him that you have taken his advice and bought some dye to make it an even more beautiful shade of ginger, but that you didnt need to use the whole solution and offer him the rest so he can have lovely red hair too

It drives me insane that everyone who meets her has to comment on her hair. In fairness it's always she has beautiful hair etc but nobody makes any comment about my boy who doesn't have the same colouring

I compliment children with red hair because I know they may get nasty insults about it, and I want to add to the positive comments, but i can see your point. It makes their hair a 'thing'.

I'm a red head and have had to deal with this nonsense more times than I can remember.

I wasn't actually bullied over my hair colour at school (I was - still am - very small for my age so that was the easier target, I suppose) but there was a guy in my year who was picked on relentlessly, even his friends would tease him all the time. I always expected it to be turned onto me at some point, and that, plus the normal comments (much like the reason for your post) made me want to dye my hair when I was at secondary school. I dyed it for years, though I eventually stopped (mainly because I couldn't be bothered to keep dying it and worrying about roots etc, but also partly because I thought I'd probably regret it when my hair darkens).

I do find it strange that red heads get so much crap for their hair colour (and trust me, it doesn't stop at school - one of the girls I used to work with was pregnant and was having a discussion with two of our other colleagues - who she was very friendly with - about how much she'd hate it if her kid has ginger hair, and how she hopes he doesn't etc. Sadly, this was not the only time I've been sat near someone making comments about red heads and just had to sit there, with my face burning), yet every hair dresser I've had has told me how lovely my hair is and how people are willing to pay an absolute fortune to have their hair dyed to have the same colour.

I would say it's not really worth bothering with a complaint - it wouldn't come to anything and your daughter isn't of an age where it will really affect her yet. All you can do really is make sure your daughter grows up not thinking of it as a curse. No doubt she will get plenty of compliments too, but it is easy to forget those when you hear such nasty comments. Whenever I was feeling blue about it, my mum (when I was younger) or my partner (now) (who both love my hair colour) always know what to say to make me feel better and forget whatever dumb comments are made. That's about all you can do, I think.

I don't understand this, it's almost an acceptable from of prejudice/racism and I suspect it's a left over from the false idea that red hair denotes Irishness. Personally I think red hair is beautiful and always used to wish for red hair (like my favourite superheroes Marvel Girl, Firestar and Batgirl). And while I try normally try not to comment on a child's beauty I tend to make a point of it with red haired children in the hope that it counter any moronic shit they get about it from morons.

OP, yuur daugher is a bit young now but please don't forget Anne Shirley. "Ann with an "e" Green Gables et al. I hope your daughter gets to read the book. Fiesty girl grew into a fiesty woman!

I would have been tempted to sink to his level and said "Yes, she can dye her hair in theory, shame there's not much you can do with your fecking ugly mug."

My husbands ginger and our little boy is ginger. He never got bullied because he never gave people the power over his hair colour it's just hair at the end of the day. Someone will pick on someone regardless best thing is to not react to it. Be proud

Will totally out myself now as I've told this story many times because it still makes me go WTF?!
When dc6 was born with a lovely mop of ginger hair, the only ginge kid I have I was fairly delighted, as my dad is a ginge too, and my nan. His was a difficult birth and I was having a little cry after, as you do, with relief and joy and all that. A midwife came in and said kindly ' ooh don't cry so, darling, he's not all that ginger, take a look at my boy!' And proceeded to show me a pic of her own flame haired lad.
I was so shocked that she thought I was upset about having a baby ginger that I couldn't reply, I was utterly gobsmacked.
I laugh about it now, but what the actual fuck?

I don't understand this, it's almost an acceptable from of prejudice/racism and I suspect it's a left over from the false idea that red hair denotes Irishness.

I was told that it was the fact that red hair is a recessive trait and so back in the pre-paternity test days if neither parent had red hair, there could be suspicions about who the father was. For an example look at Prince Harry (though in that case it doesn't help that his DM had an affair with a red head when he was tiny).

I have red hair as does one of my children. I'm not a proper ginger, more auburn with copper highlights. And I don't see 'ginger' as an insulting word in itself. Nor 'orange'.

But I take great exception to the kind of utter twatishness you were shown this morning.

I had to put up with all sorts of shit when I was growing up and you just shouldn't have to. It is racism to abuse someone for the colour of their skin and hair. Now, obviously, white privilege, etc, and not anywhere near the shit want BAME people have to put up with, but that doesn't make it OK.

I face it head on now, straight away, and I don't give a flying fuck what people think of me. It's downright rude to comment on anyone's personal appearance, to criticise the things that cannot change.

As soon as you can identify who was at your door I would complain to the local head office and their national head office. Their staff should have had basic training, which should include Do Not Be A Twat.

#GingerPride

What an idiot! I love red hair x

Shrug it off... some people are very incensitive to comments like that. But I really wouldn't let it bother you at all.

Personally I love red/ginger/strawberry blonde people. I think they all suit the colours as the skin tone suits it. Embrace her hair.

Wtaf. I would put in a complaint. That's horrific.

My daughter is a redhead and I would be livid if someone made comments like that around her. Luckily she loves she hair (only 7 so that could change), loves that she has orange hair and blue eyes which makes her rare and special. I would kill for her hair.

I also do not find 'ginger' insulting. People often say "what red lovely hair you have, little Banana", and she corrects them every time: "I actually have orange hair". People shy away from it thinking it is an insult but it doesn't not need to be.

Firstly, I would of told him he was a ugly arse and that no I wouldn't be dying her hair because being a red head is a uniquely wonderful thing!

Secondly, I'm a red head and I can tell you now that I was never bullied for it, obvs the odd comment now and then but doesn't every one for something...glasses, big nose etc.
I did go through a phase when I was a teen of not liking it much, not because of others, just myself. I dyed it quite a bit and messed about but now at the age of 27 I am firmly back to my ginger hair and loving it!

I love being different, I have red hair and blue eyes which is rare. I never had a problem getting boyfriends, I'm happily married with two kids who are not red heads(secretly a bit upset). My husbands nickname for me is Ginge, at hen parties I get the name Ginge put on the back of t-shirts...I embrace it, teach her to be strong with it, be proud!

By the way, good luck bringing up a fiery red head

I love red hair, always wanted it.

But that mail deliverer was quite out of order, and such tosh about hair dye. But such a prevalent reaction, I was in a cafe the other day and a mum with a baby ( reddish curls ) and a little boy ( deep titian, extraordinarily lovely colour) almost wept with gratitude when I said what absolute beautiful hair he had. He'd obv been getting a hard time, and I'd guess he was no more than 6 if that.

so many people in England- less Ireland nor Scotland obv- seem phased by it. Why? Ancestral memories in the collective unconscious of being done over by the celts or Vikings? Where I live in the SE, there's a clear strain of red hair that's prob Danish/ Viking...

Both my childrenhave red hair. My eldest has beautiful beautiful copper hair. It's stunning. People comment on it all the time. I have had negative comments too at which point I have made personal rude comments back to the individuals involved. Fairs fair.

I'm ginger and as a child was teased a lot about it-mainly from grown ups who should of known better. I love my hair and now even though it's more strawberry blonde I try to dye it back to ginger. I bumped into an old employer yesterday who commented to my 2yr old dd 'wow, aren't you lucky you're blonde and not ginger!' My response was 'actually I was hoping for ginger and I'm a bit gutted she takes after daddy and is blonde!'.
I really don't understand what the stigma is with having ginger hair.

Haven't read the thread. At all. But throwing my opinion in anyway!!!!

I'm a natural "ginge". Leaning towards Strawberry blonde (whatever) than red. I've dyed mine for years.

I so regret it.

Ginger hair is stunning. If I see a red headed child and there's an opening for conversation I always try to comment on how gorgeous their hair is in the hope it'll stop the fuckers making them dye it.

It's weird, red hair is seriously envied on the other side of the pond - no negative comments in sight!

I love red hair. I always wanted to be a real redhead. No "Strawberry blonde" nonsense. My friends daughters are real red heads and it's absolutely gorgeous! I always comment on how beautiful it is.
And Anne of Green Gables was one of my all time favourites!