To not want to hold a piece of rubbish?

[Daisygarden]

Went on day out with DH and kids. Baby was ready for milk so DH opens a ready carton (with a lid) and pours it into bottle. Baby happy in pram drinking milk, DH takes the pram but hands me the empty carton. I was looking at the kids whilst DH was doing the milk so I turned round to find DH handing me an empty carton and starting to push the pram off.

I went to tuck the empty carton (lid on) into the pram basket to find a bin for it later. DH swings the pram around so I can't put the carton in the basket and says "Just hold onto it! There's a bin over there!" (there was a bin around 50m away). I said "Well, I'll put it in the bin when we get to it!" DH was annoyed and said "Can't you just hold onto it? It's just a carton". I said "I don't want to hold onto it, I'll put it in the bin when we get there!" DH much annoyed and started grumbling about how I can't hold a carton for two seconds etc. I said it wasn't up to him and if I didn't want to hold it I wouldn't. DH said I was being precious and ridiculous. PS I do the bins, the gardens, all the dirty jobs in the house so I am NOT at all precious about rubbish or mess, DH is actually far more precious than me about not getting his hands dirty.

I felt he was being dictatorial. He felt I should just have hung onto the carton he handed me. This caused bad feeling and a hissing row (yes we were that couple!) on our day out.

WIBU?

You were both being utterly ridiculous.

Thanks Felicia.

What? Really?

I'm going to throw it out there, I don't think the carton is the issue here.

Are you both a bit sleep deprived, by any chance?

It wasn't, Think, but DH thinks it was.

You both sound absolutely irritating. You actually took the time to write that drivel out.

MoManda - DH is v stressed and tired at the moment.

Amelie - there's a bigger picture, but..

Wow that must have been a fun day out for your kids.

This has the makings of a very funny TV sketch .

But that said, if you're often bickering like this then the carton is the least of your troubles.

Bigger picture (maybe I need to spell it out). I feel treated like an assistant more and more (SAHM). I feel like DH is was annoyed because I didn't do as he had decided I would do. It's not about the carton. It's about power.

It was thanks, Chicrock, apart from the one squabble.

Why didn't your dh hold the empty carton?

Does he regard you as the rubbish sorter outer?

Sounds like the sort of conversations the children would have when they were younger. Much younger.

I think, for him, it is about the carton and for you, it isn't. When he's a bit more relaxed, talk to him in more general terms about how he behaves with you when under stress.

Thanks buffalogrumble. I know it is minutae but I worry about the attitude behind it a bit.

Witchend There would have been no behaving like children if I had just been a good little girl and taken the carton without a word.

What would he have done if you'd said, "tell you what, you hold the carton while I push the pram"?

Honestly?

You're a mum - get used to it. By the time your baby is a toddler they will be mistaking you for a dustbin. Your pockets will constantly return home full of bannana skins, crisp packets, ice lolly wrappers, mucky tissues, broken balloons and who knows what else? (Actualy I can see you've got older kids so you probably know this)

Sorry things are stressed between you and dh though, I hope things can get sorted out. I think the carton is the least of your worries

I assume he didn't want dribbles of milk from the empty carton getting into the pram basket or wherever else you put it. If the bin was only 50m away I would have expected whoever was not pushing the pram to just carry it.

emily yes he does! I don't know why he didn't hold it himself, I would?!

MoManda you are probably right there. He just saw it as the carton. I just didn't see why he would have a problem with me putting it in the basket. He was actually annoyed?! that I didn't hold it. I don't get that either. Why should he care or even notice?!

What Amelie10 said!

Is this real? Just re-read what you've written. This is not about a carton is it?

DrWhy it had a lid which was fixed back on. No dribbles. (totally understandable if there wasn't a lid, but there was).