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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS to the loo if he wakes up for it in the night?

70 replies

AthletesFoot · 20/07/2016 08:25

Ds is 5 years old, and on the rare occasion he wakes up in the night to go to the loo, he calls out to me and I get up and help.

Last night, I was in spare room and didn't hear ds saying he needed the loo. Dh said that ds is too clingy to me and needs to learn to go himself. He awoke at 5am that night needing to go so it was daylight DH told him to get up and go himself so ds was calling for me.

I disagree-when a child asks their parent for help, you help! Or Aibu?

What age did your dc go to the loo in the night independently?

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/07/2016 08:29

I think a 5 year old is old enough to go to the loo by themselves tbh unless they were upset from a bad dream or something.

Gizlotsmum · 20/07/2016 08:29

My 4 yr old will go by himself in the early hours ( especially now it is light) but will call for 'help/permission' if it is dark. He gets help in the middle of the night ( not if he has just gone up to bed) and I will often check on him in the morning one ( he has a habit of playing with the water rather than just washing his hands).

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/07/2016 08:30

Ds had a potty by his bed to start with and just went in that then progressed to the loo,so he was going independently at about 2.5- 3.

Artandco · 20/07/2016 08:30

I think they are old enough to go to the toilet alone yes.

If they call for help that's different if they are scared or whatever, but toilet is a daily thing

someonestolemynick · 20/07/2016 08:32

I'm with your DH. Unless DS has to swim through a shark pit to get to the loo, he should go by himself. What does he need help with?

dementedpixie · 20/07/2016 08:33

I would get up and help and did so, especially with ds.

Original poster
AthletesFoot · 20/07/2016 08:34

Someone - if it is dark and he cannot reach the light switches or the taps to wash his hands

OP posts:
MollyTwo · 20/07/2016 08:35

Leave the bathroom light on or his night light? You are babying him, I agree with your DH.

Birdsgottafly · 20/07/2016 08:37

Does he need physical help, to wipe properly?

If so, then I'd be working on that. If not, then I think just speaking to him, is enough.

If you want to get up to help, that's fine, but your DH can choose to not do that.

Birdsgottafly · 20/07/2016 08:38

If the dark is an issue, then 'fun' head/hand torches, could be the answer.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 20/07/2016 08:38

I also agree with your DH. If he can't reach things, you need to put a step for him, and use a nightlight.

Artandco · 20/07/2016 08:39

Dark - leave a small nightlight in bathroom or hall outside.

Hands - get a step.

He's 5. At 2 years I would help, after a few months I would expect them to know what to do

Girlwithnotattoos · 20/07/2016 08:39

I must be a softie, I wouldn't be expecting a child of 5 to get up alone at night to go to the toilet especially if they can't reach the light. Even first thing in the morning before everyone is up the house can seem eerie and quiet and whilst it's annoying to be be disturbed I'd rather that than a scared child.

HermioneJeanGranger · 20/07/2016 08:39

Leave the bathroom light on and put a stool by the sink so he can wash his hands. Five year olds shouldn't need accompanying to the toilet in their own home.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/07/2016 08:40

Leave the bathroom light on and buy an IKEA step so he can reach the taps,or buy a bottle of hand sanitiser.

dementedpixie · 20/07/2016 08:41

Meh I'd still help. We did end up leaving the bathroom light on overnight so it wasn't as dark in the hall.

TheNaze73 · 20/07/2016 08:41

I agree with your DH

Wallywobbles · 20/07/2016 08:44

Leave a light on and leave him to it. Do you really wash your hands in the middle of the night?

dementedpixie · 20/07/2016 08:47

I wash my hands whenever I do the toilet whether it's the middle of the night or not. Do germs not work after dark?

DeltaSunrise · 20/07/2016 08:48

I agree with your dh. Mine have a torch under their pillow and a step stool by the sink.

I don't even know they've gone to the toilet half the time until I wake up in the morning to see one of them has left the bathroom light on.

branofthemist · 20/07/2016 09:12

I agree with dh. We left a potty by the bed until Ds was big enough to turn the lights on.

Before he could wipe himself properly, I would have got up to him from he needed to poo.

Ds is now five and been taking himself to the toilet at night for at least year, probably a bit longer.

branofthemist · 20/07/2016 09:13

Oh and yes a step by the sink

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 20/07/2016 09:15

I agree with your DH. And I've never been so glad that mine don't bother putting the light on when they go (they probably don't wash their hands either, I know I don't).

Kalispera · 20/07/2016 09:15

I take the 3 year old as our bathroom is downstairs but the 6 year old will go by herself. Now if she'd only remember to turn the lights off when she gets back into bed...

HermioneJeanGranger · 20/07/2016 09:16

Do people really not wash their hands after using the loo just because it's the middle of the night? Bleurgh.