To not let DP take away DS?

[Elephants25]

I have returned to work, I didn't have full maternity leave, as DP is a SAHD, so I needed to go back sooner.

I obviously provide our income.

DS is 10 months old.

DP wants to take him to Spain, as he hasn't been away before, I said that we should wait until next year, when we have more money, as I can't take time off as I've just gone back. He wants to take him on his own, as I can't go. The thing is, the money he will use is the money I have worked for, yes, I know that it becomes shared when you are a family, but it's still a bit hurtful, when I cannot go.

AIBU to say he can't?

He wants to go on holiday with him on his own??? How odd.

YANBU to say no, that you would prefer to holiday as a family.

YANBU to want him to wait so you can have a family holiday.

YABVU to trot out the old 'Money I have worked for' line.

You do realise having him stay at home, enables you to earn that money, don't you?

I think it's odd too. What's his reasoning?

YANBU to want to holiday as a family.
Personally this would throw up major issues for me.

YABU to say 'money I've worked for'
Does that mean that if you could take time off you could do whatever you want whilst DP has zero say and is beholden to you?

Double standard.

I didn't even start this thread

No, it was me. Hang on, I'll come and speak to you

Thanks all, no, I know. It was just annoying that he wanted to go away, while I'm still at work... Without me... On a holiday...

Is this your DP doing a reverse?

You didn't post it? But you did post it?

Wtf?

I don't think you are being unreasonable and under the circumstances it is money you've worked for. I wouldn't be prepared for my partner to spend money for the family shop on Vodka on Whisky or a night out at a strip club when I can't afford to do the same.

Erm ...?

U wot m8?

This is why you don't share an account with a family member, hang on

If this is a reverse and your partner is using your MN account and pretending to be you, then your problems with your partner extend beyond the holiday issue.

No, lol. It isn't my partner

Is this the partners account or yours?

If you know you share an account, why would you be surprised there is a thread you didn't start?

Quite frankly anyone who starts throwing round 'I earned it' when one parents is a sahp, is acting shitty and the whole sahp things isn't going to work.

I wouldn't want dh taking the kids away with me. But who earned the money wouldn't be the reason.

It's my account, but my sister used it, and is still using it by the sound of things she said she was just going to ask a thread and then log out it's okay, it's sorted now

It's not that the money is mine, it's just the fact that I can't afford to be off work to go, so I don't know why he'd use the money that we don't have much of, to go

I'm very confused?

The thing is, the money he will use is the money I have worked for, yes, I know that it becomes shared when you are a family, but it's still a bit hurtful, when I cannot go

You cleary said this ^^

I know I did, I do think it would be hurtful to use it, when I'm still going to work, because we don't have enough money for me to be off work to go...

Can I ask why the need to share an account in the first place , is there a shortage of MN membership availability?

I agree with you entirely OP. Every word. I'd be most hurt and irritated if this were me and would tell him so in no uncertain terms. I think it's actually really mean of him.