AIBU to think that this lady has lost her mind ...

[kavvLar]

South Kiosk at Martello Park Felixstowe out this status up on Facebook earlier today:

"Can we make ourselves perfectly clear to all parents who are too scared to disipline their children about tantrum screaming. We will give you five lenient minutes to ask the child to stop screaming and then we will ask the child ourselves. If that means you too having a tantrum about our having to speak to your child and hurling threats about not returning – that's really okay with us. We have a duty of care to the rest of our customers."

Cue hundreds of people flaming them on Facebook and 1* reviewing the business.

What on earth were they thinking?

I hope people reading this who are outraged by her telling off a 2 year old because "they don't understand" yet believe that kids with SN "need to learn" might think about this a little btw

We have all been somewhere where a child is going crazy

This phraseology has been pointed out as derogatory towards people with mental health problems. Just saying...

However the online feeding frenzy that ensued is so scary

We may have got rid of the stocks but we've replaced them with the online version...

badly behaved NT children are annoying.

That may be but how on earth can you tell that a child is NT based on a small snapshot of their life?

NowWhat - Ah yes...SN. Every child having a tantrum, even a 2-3 year old has SN.

Are you suggesting that no children have SN until their 4th birthday?

What happens then? Do their special needs suddenly leap out at them from inside the cake, declaring "Congratulations, you have ASD"?

Jesus.

They've had to close their Facebook page!!

I agree that is is financially potentially a ruinous decision to have a rant of FB, although most people forget their high dudgeon in a nano second and will buy an ice cream rather than go without, HOWEVER they haven't actually said anything that is unreasonable, if my child had a tantrum I would take them away from other people so they were not inconvenienced by the tantrum, my child didn't have an audience and I would be embarrassed. Why is pointing out shit behaviour such a no no.

Why is pointing out shit behaviour such a no no.

Putting aside the SN issue; just my opinion, but the reason I sometimes don't like people pointing out shit behaviour in little children is because a lot of the adults who do this would ignore other adults misbehaving or maybe give a wee disapproving look. They would never approach a drunken man who was shouting his head off and grab him by the wrists. It's easy to bully a two year old, so some people will do so if they don't like their behaviour.

Anyway, it usually doesn't need to be pointed out. Most parents are embarrassed enough as it is. Obviously there are exceptions.

The kiosk has been advertised for sale. www.rightbiz.co.uk/buy_business/for_sale/176346_suffolk.html
Whilst I don't agree with the owner's child discipline tactics and attitude at all, I think it's really sad that the lynch mob of keyboard warriors have caused her to loose her business.

What is SN?

If the parents were embarrassed by the tantrum surely they would/should have removed the child.

Hard lesson to learn, I don't have much sympathy.

I doubt that they've put the kiosk up for sale as a result of this - that advert looks very carefully composed. Plus it claims they've got a good FB following, which obviously isn't the case any more!

You don't sell your business the morning after some bad reviews. It's going to be a hot week and kids will want ice cream.

Strange decision...

If you think a child's behaviour is causing a problem you speak to the parents. You certainly don't touch the child unless they are in danger.

It's one way of getting publicity for your ice cream parlour. Attract buyers, tell them it's a popular place.

Maybe she knew the reaction her comment would get and used the reaction to generate interest in someone who wants to buy her venue.

If the parents were embarrassed by the tantrum surely they would/should have removed the child.

Not necessarily. I think from what allegedly happened the mum was deliberately ignoring the tantrum as disciplining the toddler hadn't worked. Some people ignore to stop the tantrum more quickly. I don't know if that actually works or not as I haven't tried, but I know lots of people say this is their way of dealing with tantrums. It still doesn't need to be pointed out, just because the parents' embarrassment wasn't enough for them to abandon their strategy and haul their child away from the kiosk doesn't mean they weren't embarrassed.

They could always ignore the tantrum away from other people?

How exactly would they magic their tantruming toddler away from the kiosk though? Picking up a tantruming 2yo is no mean feat and if you are trying not to engage with them at the same time how on earth would you manage to move them?

One can really have no idea what the precise circumstances of parents not removing their children are, so best to keep one's beak out. And, as has been pointed out already, if one can't stand tantruming children for the length of time it takes to have a coffee and cake, then maybe an ice cream stand by the beach isn't the place to choose to have said coffee and cake.

Picking up a two year old is no mean feat?? Okaaay

Tbh you are clearly not open to anyone contradicting your very rigid view of how other people parent their children. So, I think I'll leave it there.

chill your tits

I have no sympathy for her if she's forced to sell up. She caused this by a) grabbing a random 2 year old and telling them off - not her place to do so and b) getting all snotty about kids being kids on her own fb business page - clearly a bloody suicidal business move when your main demographic is kids.

I thought grabbing someone by the wrist was considered as an assault. Personally anyone who lays a hand on any of my children would be drinking through a straw.

And did the child stop making a noise after this woman grabbed her?

Ds has ADHD and I have had my fair share of looks and comments.
Ds a very happy and very loud child would run around shrieking, jumping off tables, chairs, beds and generally anything that he could find. Better to get me served and I would then be able to vacate the premises. Trying to calm him would only prolong the agony for those around. I would only go to places where the noise levels were very high, I.e. an outdoor cafe next to a play park.

Posted too soon

Meant to say would only go to a cafe for a break that had a high noise level, like an outdoor cafe by a play park

That may be but how on earth can you tell that a child is NT based on a small snapshot of their life?

And if I hadn't specified NT I'd have been leapt on from a great height with cries of "The DC may have SNs!"

OK, all badly behaved DCs are annoying. - Is that better, imwithspud?