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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU to think that this lady has lost her mind ...

300 replies

kavvLar · 17/07/2016 19:09

South Kiosk at Martello Park Felixstowe out this status up on Facebook earlier today:

"Can we make ourselves perfectly clear to all parents who are too scared to disipline their children about tantrum screaming. We will give you five lenient minutes to ask the child to stop screaming and then we will ask the child ourselves. If that means you too having a tantrum about our having to speak to your child and hurling threats about not returning – that's really okay with us. We have a duty of care to the rest of our customers."

Cue hundreds of people flaming them on Facebook and 1* reviewing the business.

What on earth were they thinking?

OP posts:
Rhaegal · 18/07/2016 11:24

The kiosk has been advertised for sale.

Doesn't surprise it doesn't sound like the owner - if the woman is the owner was in a good fit job wise.

There was a Kiosk near were we were last summer in a park - lovely people but they never had enough stock. That was pre-main season and all through the main season so you'd queue up get there and everything kids asked for they didn't have - that happens a couple of times you make other plans.

I image it the same with rude customer service - you take something else as a snack or go somewhere else on way back home.

imwithspud · 18/07/2016 11:29

Well, I can't argue with that. Badly behaved children are annoying - I tend to err on the side of understanding the parents plight rather than judging them when they're probably already feeling flustered and fed up. Having been through public tantrum hell myself. You still didn't answer my question though. Seems like many people have this magical ability where they can automatically tell whether a child has SEN simply by looking. I would love to know how they do it.

shazzarooney999 · 18/07/2016 11:38

scaryteacher , big difference between a meltdown and a tantrum.

lastofthewintergin · 18/07/2016 13:18

Let's not all turn this into a terminology debate FFS - there are plenty of those going on all across mumsnet. This issue is about a woman, who regardless of whether a child is SN or not, feels she has the right to intervene in disciplining them (after the allotted 5 minutes' grace of course). She clearly has issues and I am sure she is now deeply regretting what she has posted. She needs to just SAY SORRY!!!

TFletchersWife · 18/07/2016 13:30

She sounds a bit odd.

Has the whole air ambulance fiasco been mentioned?

ApostrophesMatter · 18/07/2016 13:33

Seems like many people have this magical ability where they can automatically tell whether a child has SEN simply by looking. I would love to know how they do it.

I was a teacher for 40 years. About half of them spent with DCs with SNs. I'm not infallible, obviously, but I can usually tell, yes.

JudyCoolibar · 18/07/2016 13:35

What's the air ambulance fiasco?

TFletchersWife · 18/07/2016 13:46

Judy

They took a photo of themselves next to an air ambulance while the crew where saving a life on the promenade and used the catch phrase "Some people will go to any lengths for one of our sausage rolls".

Fortunately the man involved, survived his heart attack but it was such poor taste.

TFletchersWife · 18/07/2016 13:49

The Kiosk is now up for sale Wonder when it was put on the market..

GarlicStake · 18/07/2016 13:50

Reason for selling: one-year sabbatical

Sounds like she knew she was getting close to the edge and wisely booked a year off. Good for her, although it's a shame it got to her before she's closed a sale.

Pays the owner £2,200 a month. Sounds like a lot of work & stress for the money!

GarlicStake · 18/07/2016 13:52

Blimey, Fletcher, that was a bit edgy! It could fly for some businesses - but probably not a family-friendly cafe Hmm

Suffolkseaside · 18/07/2016 14:12

I came across this thread whilst looking for another post. I live in Felixstowe. I met the owner of the kiosk whilst she was still setting it up, two years ago. She came across as friendly, but quite inquisitive, and it wasn't until later, that I realised the questions she asked me were actually quite intrusive, and the kinds of things you would never ask a stranger.

For the people who aren't sure what sort of business it is, it's a kiosk that sells cakes, coffee and ice creams, along with sausage rolls that the owner buys pre-made from a local lady, that she then 'cooks' on the day. She sets out metal cafe style tables and chairs on the paving in front of her kiosk, but she also takes over the picnic tables next to it, and puts her tables up against the public benches as well, so that you can't sit on them. It's one of two kiosks, in a public area, next to a children's play area, and the beach. Therefore, you should expect to occasionally hear tired kids having a bit of a wail.

I've witnessed the owner's bad attitude on many occasions, both in real life, and from comments from others that she's then deleted. She's been rude to staff and customers alike, but often gets away with it, because people have been too shocked to complain further.

A few moments of note

  • She told two little boys off for looking through her toy box, because they were in her way when they were checking it out. She'd placed it by the door of the kiosk, so of course it was in the way, but when the dad of the little ones asked could it be moved away from her pathway, she told him in quite a brusque manner, no.
  • Last year someone mentioned that they enjoyed the food, but that they'd been spoken down to when they'd asked could the bowl of dog treats that were left on the floor at the ordering point be moved away, so that it didn't tease dogs that weren't allowed them. She said no to that, was quite rude, and said that the customer in question should learn to control her dog. The customer is a local lady who trains puppies as guide dogs, so she's pretty well versed in controlling dogs. The lady with the puppy was told she needn't bother to visit again.
  • On at least three occasions, she's cooked up extra sausage rolls, and then posted quite angry, accusatory messages that hardly anyone turned up, so she had to bin the food, complete with photos of it in the bin. When asked why she couldn't give it away instead, whether to passing fishermen, or local charities, she suddenly declared that she does give spare food to charity, though that hasn't explained the food in the bin photos.
  • I've seen her tell people off, quite sharply for being vegetarian, and for asking for sweeteners instead of sugar.
  • And just a month or so ago, she deleted a post where someone mentioned that she'd embarrassed her family, when coming out to tell her son that he was upsetting other customers. Some people who'd been there at the time mentioned that they weren't bothered at all. The owner said it was her duty to tell people to be quiet, and told the family not to go again.

As for people forgetting about the story and popping there tomorrow, or the next day for an ice cream, I don't think it will happen. There's a much nicer lady, in the kiosk which is 10 feet closer to the park, who sells some too. I hope she has a blooming marvellous time making extra money.

I did note on reading through the comments that some people think she's lost her business through her poor choice of comments. She was already selling it, so she hasn't been deprived of her livelihood by a witch hunt.

Part of why this all has been shared so widely, was that someone commented that maybe the 2 year old was disabled and couldn't help themselves. She replied to that with a firm determination that the child most definitely wasn't disabled. Of course, we all know that you can spot disabilities in a heartbeat whilst serving cake, it's a well-known ability.

lastofthewintergin · 18/07/2016 14:29

Suffolkseaside - finally someone else who knows her! I couldn't agree with you more.

gener · 18/07/2016 15:01

Suffolkseaside - very interesting!! I hope someone 'child friendly' buys the kiosk!!

NeedACleverNN · 18/07/2016 15:03

She sounds like the type of person to buy a toy shop and then complain it's full of children Hmm

KatherineMumsnet · 18/07/2016 15:48

Hi all,

We're just hopping on to ask everyone to bear in mind that disablist posts are against Mumsnet's Talk Guidelines.

Our This Is My Child campaign has lots of information about the ways that people can make life a bit easier for disabled people and their carers. Mumsnet's aim is to make parents' lives easier, and we strongly believe that this includes all parents caring for children with disabilities, as well as all parents who have disabilities themselves.

BishopBrennansArse · 18/07/2016 15:53

It's a fucking kiosk in a children's play area not the Ritz!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 18/07/2016 16:54

Oh my goodness TFletchersWife, really?! Shock Did Air Ambulance complain?

Any residual sympathy has just evaporated. Angry

"They took a photo of themselves next to an air ambulance while the crew where saving a life on the promenade and used the catch phrase "Some people will go to any lengths for one of our sausage rolls". Fortunately the man involved, survived his heart attack ..."

She needs a new form of employment, somewhere where she does crown herself 'Queen of the beach and all she surveys, and Grand Inquisitor of public behaviour' ...

mathanxiety · 18/07/2016 17:26

Steviebuns - I agree with all of your posts here.

BillSykesDog · 18/07/2016 18:07

This is just an unpleasant witch hunt. Especially given all the crowing of 'discrimination' and finger pointing. Because if half of the stuff written about her on this thread is true it sounds more than a little bit likely she's either on the spectrum or has some sort of mental illness.

But, hey, who cares, let's get out the ducking stool and try and destroy someone on the internet because it's fun and we have nothing better to do with our lives!

heygotanygrapes · 18/07/2016 18:27

This has made local news!

heygotanygrapes · 18/07/2016 18:31

BBC Look East if anyone's interested

dottydee3 · 18/07/2016 18:49

This is shocking! How dare she touch a child

Mom6kids · 18/07/2016 20:50

OMG, I can't believe this. I was like there early saw the hole thing. Nice little girl playin an stuff. Then there was a little trouble an older woman stared at her.coz of the screaming. Nosey old puss face told her to f* off 2 right. Then the owner came out grabbed her rist. People should like mind there own sholdnt they.

Suffolkseaside · 18/07/2016 23:13

lastofthewintergin - it's pretty disappointing how the BBC have reported it, to be honest.

Did you see the report on Look East earlier? She made it sound like she was trying to tell off a child who was breaking her toy box, and throwing her chairs about, rather than she restrained a small child by the wrists as reported by witnesses. And it sounded so plausible the way she said it. It's almost as though she's practised at lying through her teeth.

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