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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think boys should be able to do Brownies?

559 replies

PrinceCharming7 · 15/07/2016 20:14

I'm a bit confused why they don't? Girls are allowed to do Scouts/Cubs/Beavers, so why can't boys do brownies?

OP posts:
QuackDuckQuack · 16/07/2016 12:26

littleprincesssara - spot on.

LyndaNotLinda · 16/07/2016 12:32

My son is at cubs. They do a lot of crafts and baking as well as the other more outdoorsy stuff. It's about a 75/25 split boys/girls which is more like 50/50 by the time they get to scouts.

Incidentally, in my experience, those boys who like to hang out with girls do dominate conversation and leadership roles in exactly the same way all other boys do. They're boys and they're socialised as boys, even if they'd rather be knitting than kicking a ball

SoupDragon · 16/07/2016 12:33

Perhaps we would be better off instilling in our girls that they do not need to dress up for boys or pretend to delicate little princesses.

peggyundercrackers · 16/07/2016 12:48

Perhaps we would be better off instilling in our girls that they do not need to dress up for boys or pretend to delicate little princesses

do people really do that? my little girl dresses up because she likes to - its not for anyone elses benefit.

sorenofthejnaii · 16/07/2016 12:52

Incidentally, in my experience, those boys who like to hang out with girls do dominate conversation and leadership roles in exactly the same way all other boys do

What - all boys? Some boys?

You do know that it's not all boys who do this. There are boys who are quiet, respectful, lack confidence and are dominated by 'alpha' males as well.

I feel sorry for these boys. No safe space for them to just be themselves without the peer pressure of the alpha males.

peggyundercrackers · 16/07/2016 12:53

Any person is welcome to set up a boy only space.

like muirfield golf club in Scotland? funny when this blew up in the media there was no talk of the 18 female only golf clubs...

BertrandRussell · 16/07/2016 12:58

" feel sorry for these boys. No safe space for them to just be themselves without the peer pressure of the alpha males."

I do too. That is what people meant when they were talking about toxic masculinity and got a used for it.

The issue is whether girls should have to accommodate them.

SoupDragon · 16/07/2016 13:01

peggyundercrackers

According to this thread, yes they do. It's one of the reasons why they need a girl only space so that they don't have to worry about their appearance and can just be themselves.

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/07/2016 13:02

BertrandRussell

The issue is whether girls should have to accommodate them.

but surely that is only part of the issue, when the areas that were in place or people have organised boys only events have allowed been forced to let girls in.

MangoMoon · 16/07/2016 13:02

I think it's very telling that some people are more concerned that people have pointed out boys sometimes turn into rapists than they are about females being unsafe

Bollocks.

It's a thread about the Brownies, not a place traditionally associated with females being 'unsafe'.

Many posters on this thread (including me) have agreed that a parent trying to undermine girl-only clubs when there are plenty of clubs for boys already is shit.

But that doesn't mean we blindly agree with the 'boys are just pre-pubescent misogynist twats' rhetoric, and are perfectly able to separate the two things.

SoupDragon · 16/07/2016 13:03

I don't think anyone has yet listed all the many boy only clubs that are apparently available, not explained how someone can set up a boy only club without falling foul of equality laws (it was said further down that guides have a royal charter that exempts them).

sorenofthejnaii · 16/07/2016 13:04

The issue is whether girls should have to accommodate them

Maybe there should be a club where loud,boisterous people aren't allowed...

SoupDragon · 16/07/2016 13:04

a parent trying to undermine girl-only clubs when there are plenty of clubs for boys already is shit.

What are these "plenty" of Clubs for boys?

BoneyBackJefferson · 16/07/2016 13:04

I would like to know what these clubs for boys only are.

LyndaNotLinda · 16/07/2016 13:14

Boys tend to dominate conversation in mixed groups Soren, even if they are the only boy there.

WankersHacksandThieves · 16/07/2016 13:15

I feel sorry for these boys. No safe space for them to just be themselves without the peer pressure of the alpha males.

Or indeed alpha girls which one is more the norm.

I have no problem with girls attending scouts or other organisations, I just think it's wrong to argue that girls need their own space whilst simultaneously denying boys the same thing.

sorenofthejnaii · 16/07/2016 13:18

Boys tend to dominate conversation in mixed groups Soren, even if they are the only boy there

You mean certain types of boys tend to dominate conversations

titchy · 16/07/2016 13:24

Incidentally, in my experience, those boys who like to hang out with girls do dominate conversation and leadership roles in exactly the same way all other boys do.

Which is exactly why girls benefit from girl only spaces.

Look just because scouts decided to admit girls, does NOT mean GG should admit boys. They're groups with similar aims and activities but not the same group. And it's not the role of GG to copy what the SA does. The women in charge of GG made up their mind not to follow the men in charge of SA. Cos you know women can do that.

kungfupannda · 16/07/2016 13:26

I have three boys.

I can absolutely see the need for girl-only spaces.

My boys will have plenty of mixed activities available to them. They are not being deprived by not being able to join a very specific activity that is only for girls.

titchy · 16/07/2016 13:26

No one is denying boys would benefit from the same thing - I agree! But SA decided to no longer offer that so perhaps someone could offer to start a new organisation.

BertrandRussell · 16/07/2016 13:28

" I just think it's wrong to argue that girls need their own space whilst simultaneously denying boys the same thing."
That really isn't the point-as many of us have been saying.

PinkyofPie · 16/07/2016 13:29

Are you seriously saying that if boys attended Brownies that's teaching them "to have whatever they want

It would be teaching them that they can infiltrate girl-only spaces for no other reason than "they want to", despite good reasons for it remaining girl-only. If you can't understand why that's damaging, I can't help you. If you insist on being over defensive about boys and extrapolating, and you really can't see why some spaces should be girl-only, I really cannot help you

WankersHacksandThieves · 16/07/2016 13:31

So, are all girls and women exactly the same? Because the implications from a lot here are that all boys are. This may be news to some people, but not all boys grow up to be football mad part-time rapists or hooray henries dominating the little women....some of them grow up to be carers, artists and the people that your daughters might want to be in a partnership with and have children with.

Maybe if we first and foremost defined people as people and not in terms of what genitals they have we'd be in a better place.

Maybe you could also explain how a boy with crippling social anxiety is dominating all conversations in mixed company?

PinkyofPie · 16/07/2016 13:31

Attending brownies would contribute to rape culture… WTF! this thread is insane and hysterical

Extrapolating example. Point out where I said this.

MangoMoon · 16/07/2016 13:32

Regardless of the rest of the arguments made on this thread, it was the fact that OP wanted her child to join Brownies because he 'likes crafts' was the thing that offended me tbh.

I'd like to think that a girls only association is much more enlightened & modern than offering just crafts.

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