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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
opheliaamongthelillies · 14/07/2016 08:00

Blimey- didn't take much to ruin his day did it? Had a fantastic trip to the seaside and it's all eclipsed because he didn't get a drink of water, crikey!

Original poster
Gizzle · 14/07/2016 08:04

ophelia Yes! Crazy isn't it! I put it down to the fact that he's … um… let me see… 8 years old.

OP posts:
gettingtherequickly · 14/07/2016 08:11

This is why I don't think schools should do trips out. It's hideous for the teachers, they get no thanks and kids forget things, get travel sick, tired, etc etc.

If parents want their kids to go to the seaside then can do it themselves on the weekend. Unless it was a geography field trip I can't see the educational value.

SaggyNaggy · 14/07/2016 08:12

I don't understand why you didnt just retrieve his bag from the teacher and give him a drink yourself OP? After all you were there right? How else would you know the whole story? How else would you know he asked politely? How else would you know that he hadn't been swinging his bag at other kids all day and that's why the teacher said no?

PurpleDaisies · 14/07/2016 08:14

This is why I don't think schools should do trips out. It's hideous for the teachers, they get no thanks and kids forget things, get travel sick, tired, etc etc.

Really? The school trips I've been on have been absolutely loved by the children, and even though it can be stressful making sure you haven't lost anyone as a teacher they're generally good fun. They're especially good for those children whose parents never take them to the seaside/museums/zoos/whatever because they can't afford it or can't be bothered.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/07/2016 08:14

Do come back and let us know how your conversation with the teacher went, OP.

And don't forget to thank the teacher for retrieving the bag he forgot.

Evergreen17 · 14/07/2016 08:19

Saggy what you said Smile
Can you be my agent? Smile

gettingtherequickly · 14/07/2016 08:20

Sorry purple, I wasn't considering of the kids were having fun. It's the parents job to parent and the teachers job to teach.

This is where the education system is getting confused. We are expecting teachers to act as parents. They aren't.

Education should be engaging, but trips to theme parks and the seaside are a step too far. And result in this kind of grief for the teacher.

PurpleDaisies · 14/07/2016 08:25

Sorry purple, I wasn't considering of the kids were having fun. It's the parents job to parent and the teachers job to teach.

But school trips don't have to be one or the other. I'm surprised you can't think of any educational value in going to the seaside. From a science specialist's point of view there are loads of things you could look at.

It is unusual for teachers to get this sort of grief after a school trip, and I don't think a few parents whinging that their little darling had their bag confiscated after they left it on the beach is a good reason not to run trips any more.

MsJamieFraser · 14/07/2016 08:29

I would be angry at this if true, as for those saying it won't kill him not to have a drink for two hours are Hmm yes it won't kill him... But it could cause serious injury!

Ds1 wasn't allow a drink on a 2.5 her car journey, he then stood up and passed out instantly, as him blood pressure dropped and he smashed his face against the metal rest rail and required stitches to his face and dental treatment. We ended up getting compensation for this, it was concluded if he was allowed a drink his pressure would not have dropped, as he had a very physical sporting school event.

A colleagues child was doing an exam, wasn't allowed a drink, similar thing happened, stood up and smashed his face on the floor and again required stitches... And dental and eye surgery, He also wasn't allowed to remove his blazer, so that contributed to his passing out as well. At the hospital it was again determined that if he was allowed to keep hydrated the doctor was almost certain it would not have happened, the council is now facing a law suit.

So is personally be very wary for not allowing children to have breaks.

MsJamieFraser · 14/07/2016 08:29

*Drink breaks

kelda · 14/07/2016 08:35

Children need access to water. To those who say that they never had constant access to water at school and it never did them any harm...my overriding memory of primary school is of being thirsty and hot. I was unable to concentrate and often had a headache at school. No wonder I barely learnt anything at primary school.

Even now I always have a bottle of water in my bag and a glass of water beside my bed. And I make sure my children have too.

I really don't understand why the teacher wouldn't have given the boy his water.

Evergreen17 · 14/07/2016 08:42

Keld yes children need access to water and if they have a medical reason they are allowed to carry it in my sessions. However for the rest it is no water during sessions unless exceptionally hot. Not that it has been that hot this year tbh.
We are mammals and we can definitely do with drinking water every couple of hours /hour.
I am sure in their first aid kit they carry water if a child needs it.
Let's not make it a "he almost died as he was denied water" the Sun headline.

We dont know if they were asked to drink water before getting on the coach so lets not assume

NavyandWhite · 14/07/2016 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaLoveg00d · 14/07/2016 08:46

I always tell people to go and have calm conversation to establish the facts first

Which would obviously be the most sensible course of action. Small boys (and I have one of the same age) are never the most reliable witnesses to what was said or done and when, and you need to get the other side of the story. It could be that the teacher was up the other end of the bus and didn't even hear the request for the bag, or that the adults were dealing with some child who had projectile vomited all over the place.

Parents naturally want to believe every word which comes out of their child's mouth, but I have learned over my years as a parent to treat it all with a pinch of salt.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/07/2016 08:47

I really don't understand why the teacher wouldn't have given the boy his water.

Neither does the OP, and neither do any of us.

Which is why making sure you know exactly what happened before coming to any kind of conclusion is such a good idea.

junebirthdaygirl · 14/07/2016 08:56

Some children forget stuff more than others. If he is one of those it's like punishing a child for spelling a word wrong if he is dyslexic. As a teacher it makes me mad that a teacher picks the day of the school tour to teach a little guy a lesson in remembering. We always try to keep everything lighthearted on a tour and keep the learning of life lessons for other more serious days. Everytime we move on on a school trip there's bags left behind. They are over excited. Its no big deal to help them remember. I am angry that teacher made that snide remark when he was going by. Totally uncalled for. Again it's like saying oh look there's Peter the worse speller in the class. I would give her a chance to hear her side of the story and not make a big deal of it.

t4gnut · 14/07/2016 09:03

Oh for goodness sakes the petty things you can make a fuss about.

So he waited a little bit longer for a drink. No-one died, the world didn't end and in the scale of things in the world you're being ridiculous.

Perhaps he'll learn to be a bit more organised if someone isn't rushing round after him, picking up and catering to his every whim.

2rebecca · 14/07/2016 09:06

He had all day to drink his drink. Deciding he wants it when he hasn't got it does just sound like small child behaviour. The teacher shouldn't have mentioned she had the bag until he got off the coach. If he'd drunk all his water during the day he wouldn't have had any left and would have had to wait. Many schools no longer run school trips. Parents complaining about petty things like this rather than being glad she retrieved the bag and telling your son that if he was thirsty he'd have remembered his bag with his drink himself is part of the reason. She could have been nicer about it, but you don't have to make a complaint every time someone isn't as nice as you want them to be. Save the complaints for the serious stuff.

t4gnut · 14/07/2016 09:08

You say the teacher - after herding dozens of forgetful kids all day and who was busy supervising a bus - told him he couldn't have his bag till he got home.

He didn't ask for water - he asked for his bag. Putting aside the no eating and no drinking on the bus rule. Teacher quite rightly said no you don't need your bag on the bus, you can wait till we get back.

Yes you are overreacting. Yes you are being a massive fusspot about a triviality. Put the helicopter down and get a grip.

NavyandWhite · 14/07/2016 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 14/07/2016 09:08

My son was probably the most forgetful boy in his class. He has learned to be more organised as a student. I would have just told him it was his fault for not remembering his bag himself.

smallfox2002 · 14/07/2016 09:10

I'm so glad I don't work in a primary school.

Petty and precious complaints like this would drive me up the wall.

hidingwithwine · 14/07/2016 09:12

Jesus, reading this thread no wonder there's a teaching crisis. Apparently I went into the profession to Lord my power over small children wtf Angry

teacherwith2kids · 14/07/2016 09:14

It is entirely possible that everyone was told to have a good drink and go to the toilet before getting on the coach. If it was at that point that it became apparent that your DS's bag had been left on the beach, then he might have missed this.

Had he had a chance to have a drink regularly during the day? Had he done so?

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