to think I'm not a bad parent because my child hasn't learnt to swim?

[purplefan5]

DS is 7, he doesn't know how to swim and he is still in armbands, is this really so bad? I seem to get the worst looks when we go swimming, etc.

Is it really that bad? He doesn't want to do swimming lessons.. Are you supposed to force them?

My friend's DS was petrified of waterman scared of drowning at age 7, after actually nearly drowning in a pool at 3. Wouldn't go in pools, only go in the sea up to his ankles, etc.

We took him to one of those water adventure playground things where he could play in ankle deep water. Eventually as he was having fun he would go in the wave pool on my back like a monkey in waist deep water. Then he went down a big slide. After 4 hours there (!) he was happy enough to be in relatively deep water monkey-backing on me.

A few more trips there and the fear had subsided enough that he was able to start swimming lessons. He's fine now and can swim a bit at 8.5.

Might work?

How is that not nice!? I'm saying that it can stop some people and that if children can't swim for whatever reason it's good enough, it doesn't need to be justified by some children who have disabilities to be able to

I don't remember anyone having swimming lessons when I was younger yet I was one of the few who couldn't swim at 7 when we started lessons at school. Kids just learned from going with their parents. My parents never took me as my mum can't swim but it didn't take me long to learn at school. We went every week all through primary though which is rare now. Lessons worked really well for one of my dc but absolutely petrified the other so I had to stop taking him and teach him myself. The op is taking her ds to the pool so he will be building his confidence. Saying she is lazy and that he's missing out is unfair.

I don't think it's ok to bring a specific child on to the thread to prove a point against another poster. Especially when it's that posters child. That's nasty.

I think mrsd have been very gracious about it. I don't think I would have been.

I don't think I've ever seen that in the five years I've been here. Leaving the thread now.

I almost drowned as a child (6ish). My DF took his eyes off me for a second to adjust my DBs armbands and that's all it took. I was rescued by the lifeguards. Accidents can happen so quickly, even when you think you are supervising. My children have had lessons from a young age and at 8 and 4 can both swim (4yo not well obviously!). I can now also swim. To me it is an essential skill and anyone who is able to should learn if at all possible. on top of that, it's fun.

I actually name changed to start a thread! but then wanted to post

My DCs can't - both of us were not able to take them due to injury/illness, and also DS wasn't allowed for years because of his eczema.

I spoke to my friend who is a swimming instructor and she said that it's fine, just get them in the pool having fun for now. Now we are able to take them more often so they're gradually learning. They are nearly 7 and just turned 9

18 years old, in a town in England, I believe furthest point from sea. A group of boys from my sixth form went to a club. Lovely boys, really lovely boys. Outside they were asked for a cigarette, they said they didn't have any, and then twenty minutes later the group that had asked them for a cigarette caught one of the boys smoking, an argument started and my friends ended up being chased. They separated as they ran. They all went after just one. The funniest sweetest gentlest boy. He couldn't swim. They caught up with him, pushed him in the canal and ran off. He couldn't swim. He drowned.

His family probably never went on holidays with swimming pools, his family perhaps didn't enjoy swimming and were like Hawks always near bodies of water. But fact is, when your children grow up they might be put in situations that you never envisaged. And my goodness, you want to equip them with skills so they can handle themselves as much as possible. Whether that be road sense, awareness of dangers of drugs, or the ability to swim etc.

I agree it's essential... that said I was a very reluctant swimmer and horribly behind by time I reached senior school! My children all do swimming lessons and will do intensive summer courses - they just progress much faster on those and the difference can be amazing. Last year DC aged 4 who had previously refused to go into any water above his knees with me did an intensive and was cheerfully doggy paddling (with armbands and noodles) by the end. I was so pleased. A year later he still won't put his face in the water but lo es his weekly lessons and has a two week intensive coming up which I hope will solve that :D

My son has sn and he's 9 and has just learnt to swim these past few weeks.

Despite having got lessons for both my dc I think, on balance, the majority of drowning incidents are likely to be down to overconfidence rather than people accidentally falling into water. I am always sure to tell my eldest that even though she is a strong swimmer in a pool it is a different matter in cold open water with plants and currents to contend with. Aside from drowning as well my friend is a nurse and the amount of spinal injuries in men aged 18-25 from diving off rocks etc into shallow water on holiday is worrying. No doubt these are confident swimmers.

DD has been going to lessons weekly since 10 months, she's now 15 months and is developing a doggy paddle but still obviously can't swim. The great thing it has taught her though is about being under water, loves being dunked and gets massively excited whenever she gets near a pool. The plus side to this is that we have some incredible underwater photos of her. If I could only pick one organised activity for her then it would be this. Such a valuable life skill.

My mind is a bit boggled at the comment upthread about it being irresponsible for a seven year old not to be able to swim. I couldn't even access lessons for my children until they were over the age of 7 because that was the minimum age allowed. My ten year old recently started swimming lessons in school, and less than half the class can swim.

I am a strong swimmer but haven't been able to teach my children to swim because TBH I don't know how. I've tried but me knowing how to do it doesn't transfer into being able to get across to them how to do it.

I think if you possibly possibly can, you should ensure your children are able to swim from the earliest age possible, for safety reasons.

Did in your case what I might have been inclined to do is go to the local sports centre and let the child who can't medically swim do something just as fun there while the others had swimming lessons. Trampolining, table tennis, badminton, whatever they fancied trying.

I hope your son stays healthy, you must have been through hell.

OP I hope you can find a way for your son to swim soon. Maybe 1:1 lessons would be less traumatic?

Funnily enough I come from a big family of non swimmers. My parents can't swim and never took me to the pool as a child. None of my siblings (of which I have many) can swim, and it simply wouldn't occur to them to go to the swimming pool. Therefore none of their children can swim either. In my family swimming isn't viewed as an essential life skill but more of a special indulgence, like going to the cinema or going for a coffee. My children are viewed as being a bit indulged because I take them swimming sometimes.

Togaparties Reading your post I thought "That's lovely - her DD has something she really enjoys". I don't see how you get from there to the conclusion that it's a "valuable life skill". As I said above, I agree that - to a limited extent - there's a safety issue, but other than that, I think it's down to a child's personal preferences. They like to swim? Great. They don't like to swim but they like to play the cello? Equally great.

Mine have learnt at school as I can't afford lessons and it's not as easy as just take them as there are 3 of them and 1 of me. The eldest 2 can now swim but the unrest can't yet.

I 5hink he probably needs to learn to swim so he is not lagging behind his peers. By that age most if not all of DS's school friends was also swimming. From the age if 8 birthday parties wee often held at swimming pools. Also we had lots of fun on holiday on the flumes and wave machines in pools.
Sure, people talk about the safety side of things but there is a lot of fun to be had once you are confident in water.

School swimming lessons here at 7/8 and usually 1/3 can't swim. It's not a high economic area of that makes a difference.

We do swimming lessons as do many buy it's certainly not unusual not to.

Only on mumsnet is a 6 year old swimming 600 metres "lazy"..

Sure, people talk about the safety side of things but there is a lot of fun to be had once you are confident in water.

Absolutely - IF that's your idea of fun. I'm a just about okay swimmer, my DH is a strong swimmer. Neither of us enjoys it, neither of us would do it out of choice. My DC have learned to swim and are exactly the same. We would all - as a family - prefer to do other things. So it's purely a safety point for me and, as I've said above, I think that's overblown at times as if you were to be swept out to see you'd likely as not be a goner even if you'd been trained to lifeguard standard.