A bloke in the street said 'cheer up love, give us a smile' and I did. Urgh!!!

[YoJesse]

And now I'm pissed off with myself. I didn't feel like smiling, I don't think I should have to smile because some random male said I should. I just instantly did as I was told before my brain even engaged. Then he said 'ahh, that's much better baby face' I always do this or look embarrassed and scuttle by with my head down when blokes say stuff like this in the street even though I would call myself a feminist. (I'm not great at putting my feminist beliefs into action).

What do other women do? Withering look, sharp comment or just ignore.
Is it unreasonable for something like this to get to me that much?

I'm obviously weird, because bar extreme circumstances such as the lady who had just lost her mother, I sometimes need a prod to appreciate the good in my life, and this makes me do just that, and so I smile.

I sometimes need a prod to appreciate the good in my life, and this makes me do just that, and so I smile

What has 'the good in life' got to do with 'smiling when a man demands it'? My good in life is nothing to do with random strangers!

"what they're actually doing is ordering you to be more decorative and pleasing to them without giving a shit about you as a person"

nailed it there SpeakNoWords

Sabie precisely.

Those of you living in the internalised misogyny dream world where men say thus for altruism. They don't. They say this because to them women should be attractive and/or comforting, bland and unchallenging. They should not appear feisty or likely to refuse - let alone be feisty or likely to refuse. Hence the request of a smile (and not a smile with a reason - a bland gormless no reason smile just there so we are there as wallpaper).

It's hardly an obscure feminist debate.
It's the non sexy version of a cat call.
Not flattering - about wanting control.

...and their reaction when you refuse often speaks volumes. As do the deeper reasons while many of us smile: our moods don't change do they? It's because we don't want them to kick off.

Billy do you also feel loved and flattered when a thug leers "nice tits" at you?
THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE GOOD IN LIFE. Really they don't. Quite the opposite: they'd rather women didn't have complicated feelings or issues and just looked nice.
Which is BAD news for their female friends and relatives who might find it hard to communicate with them or even feel peer pressure to pretend/smile.

Flick the bird

When do women EVER tell women they don't know to smile? I've never heard that from women. I've heard it a lot from random men.

Mind you, I'm not going to tell a stranger to fuck off because you never know which of them will decide that I'm a hysterical feminist and 'equality' means they should punch me in the face...;

It's hardly an obscure feminist debate - an important one though squizita?

Always good to see feminism reaching out into chat or AIBU!

I get this from women quite a lot,especially when im at work. I have a bit of a natural frown, even more so when I'm not wearing glasses. Unfortunately when I'm at work I cant be unprofessional enough to tell them to fuck off, but its just as annoying the other way round. I would never say this to anyone, male or female.

I always say "IDIOT" loudly and walk off.

Juggling well exactly. What I meant was it's not a "is it or isn't it" subtle thing. It's SO obviously sexist!

Blank eyes and "They're all dead and it's my fault" delivered in a monotone works for me.

As someone shared on Twitter, but I can't remember who, it's not friendly because you're always aware that you're only one step away from "fucking bitch".

waiting that is fucking superb

I am so going to use that. Apparently, according to DH I do have 'shark eyes' at times ( when I'm fucked off) - utterly blank, cold and dead and, he tells me, fucking terrifying if I turn slowly and do the shark stare.

Can't wait for the next twat to start on me :)

At a funeral wake which was in a pub, whilst i was walking to the toilets, a bloke said to me 'cheer up love it may never happen'. I took great pleasure in telling it that it had and I was at the funeral of a beloved aunt . He was mortified and I hope it's taught him not to do it again. He did apologise as I passed him on my way back from the toilets to be fair

A bloke in the street once said to me "Cheer up love, might never happen".

I was on my home from work early after having just had a phone call to tell me my uncle had died.

'Babyface'?? Ugh! What a condescending prick!! You are right to be angry. It is just rude and patronising. And I have to say, I have only ever had men say this to me, and strangely, my partner has never had it said to him by a man or a woman!

Elderly man said it to me when I was walking with my mom and two sisters to order flowers for my dad's funeral. I could have punched him. I wish people would just think before they speak. As others have said, you never know what is going on in people's lives.

Quite a few years ago now, but my "favourite" was at work, when one of the men said to me: "Oh, come on, what's with that face, cheer up, who died?"

"My granddad, unexpectedly, last night".

The truly insane part was that the manager later dragged me in to tell me I'd upset this bloke and I should apologise. What the actual fuck?

Certain women say stuff like this, too.

I hate this so much that I'm getting very angry just reading the thread. The expectation that I have to look happy because it's not decorative to have a non happy female walking around.

I smile sweetly and cheesily as if they've genuinely done me a favour reminding me to, then when they are taken in, I turn it into my most vicious snarl and mutter "dick". It works for me.

I don't like the baby face bit, but the other wouldn't bother me tbh.
Smiling makes me feel better and if somebody reminded me they obviously think I'd look better and be happier by smiling.
Not saying others should agree though and can see why somebody wouldn't like it.

This has come up so many times and we always get the 'well, women do it too' and the 'oh, I'm not bothered so by extension you shouldn't be either' people rocking up.

Whether women do it too is irrelevant. If a woman said it to me my immediate reaction is not to wonder whether I should ignore it or not for fear of aggressive reactions. That is the issue when men do it to women. Women doing it to men, again, the men being told to smile by a woman aren't worried they might get verbally abused if they express displeasure. Which is why men can go 'doesn't bother me!'.

And for all the 'they're trying to lighten your day/it's not a problem' folk. How many people have to share stories of this happening to them when they're having an awful day for you to realise it's inappropriate? And even if someone isn't having an awful day, we all deserve the right to go peacefully about our business without anyone feeling the need to comment on any aspect of our appearance in a way that makes us uncomfortable.

That is nothing to do with being 'miserable', being 'unfriendly', being 'a bitch'. It's to do with personal space. I wouldn't do it to someone. I expect the same level of respect back. People who do this (and it's mostly men ) have no respect for the feelings of the people they do it too. If they did, if they stopped for a second and thought about what they were doing, they wouldn't do it.

Why the FUCK should I care whether some random on the street thinks I'd 'look better smiling'?

Some might think I'd look better with my cleavage on display for them to have a good look at. I'm not there for display purposes.