A bloke in the street said 'cheer up love, give us a smile' and I did. Urgh!!!

[YoJesse]

And now I'm pissed off with myself. I didn't feel like smiling, I don't think I should have to smile because some random male said I should. I just instantly did as I was told before my brain even engaged. Then he said 'ahh, that's much better baby face' I always do this or look embarrassed and scuttle by with my head down when blokes say stuff like this in the street even though I would call myself a feminist. (I'm not great at putting my feminist beliefs into action).

What do other women do? Withering look, sharp comment or just ignore.
Is it unreasonable for something like this to get to me that much?

Tbf I doubt it's every passing male that makes such comments

That's because you don't know how gorgeous and grumpy I look

"You're my sort of classy bird" said one man in a group of three
"I doubt it" I Said
"what's your name?" said he
"Hmmmm" said I
"Oh like that is it?" said he
"Well actually it's like this, either I tell you my name and you think I"m interested in engaging with you or I don't and risk you being an arsehole" said I
"I only want your name" said he
"Mrs husbands name" said I
"Oh sorry about that love, I'll leave it" said he

So as I was the property of another guy he fucked off..... Fucking livid.

Oh, okay, as it's not every passing male, that's alright then

That means it's fine for the ones who are upsetting women who've just had a miscarriage.

Someone being possibly hurt by being told to fuck off does not trump my right to go about my business in peace.

Well, good for you. Gosh, I wish everyone was as strong as you. I wish I was when I was suicidal. Unfortunately we're not all as emotionally resilient as you Navy and different things affect different people in different ways. Which is why it'a twattish of anyone to tell someone else to 'smile' or 'cheer up love'. It doesn't just wash over some people.

No, I don't. And the people commenting to others on the street have no idea about the people they're commenting to either.

Things are looking up at the moment actually!

and some bonus for you too.

People who shout 'cheer up luv' in the street aren't exactly asking what is wrong, are they? It's quite different.

I get this at work a lot 😐 and usually I glare at them and they recoil in horror. Then I laugh and they don't do it again.

I understood the topic of the thread to be about random strangers making these 'cheer up love' comments in the street. Not about friends, acquaintances and colleagues saying it, which although that can be irritating in certain circumstances it's a totally different issue.

So with regard to male strangers approaching me in the street to say 'cheer up love' or similar this is my experience. It's not something I have to deal with any longer, because I'm old, and that speaks for itself, but I've never had a random woman say it to me in the street. It was only ever men who said it, and it was only when I was under the age of 45ish.

"I'd poke my tongue out. They don't expect that from a 45 year old woman"

They might not be expecting it, but it'd give them a kick to see you do it. No, I'm all for the "utterly blank them and keep walking" approach.

Ever seen a model walk down a catwalk, gazing dully into the middle distance as if there's nobody there? That's what I channel. Just stare off into the horizon, face unapproachable, eyes half closed as if bored out of my skull.

My favourite response to "cheer up love" is "why?"

If they respond "it might never happen" I respond with another question, such as "but what if it does?" Or "how do you know it won't?"

Asking a question seems to unnerve people, the more existential the better

I despise "who died?" if you look upset, naming a person scares them shitless every single time.

Once a pervy old bloke (he was leering) did the whole "smile for me love, what made you so miserable?" and at the risk of sounding like an overly dramatic teenage goth barmy replied "I just tried to kill myself". I mean I wasn't lying I was on my way back from hospital after a really rough patch. I don't think he ever asked that question to anyone again after the look on his face.

I think it is a certain kind of bloke that does that. I can't imagine any if the men I know doing this . It happened more when I was young and used to make me so annoyed. I talked to DP about this recently and he said he got that comment too, once though.He was kind of bemused, rather than annoyed .

'Come on love, give us a smile'
Sigh. 'You see here we have my dilemma. My usual response to this is to tell you to fuck off, but what then happens is that you start getting all offended and stuff and then start telling me I need to lighten up. So hows about you just stop telling random women to smile, we are not here for your entertainment or delight, and we certainly do not have to smile just because some random man suggests it to us. Oh dear, you seem to now have a frown, how about smiling so that I do not have to look at your frowny face?'
'Well you have blah blah blah'
'So you see my dilemma. Why is it ok for you to pass comment on me, but not for me to pass comment on you? Next time, perhaps just walk on and stop yourself from judging and commenting on completely random women'

"It's always men who say this."

Well that is bollocks for starters, I have had plenty of random women in shops or on the street make some comment about my alleged downcast expression, like others I don't have some perma-smile expression on my face all the time so for some this is enough to invite some smart arse comment, can't say I get too upset about it though.

slug love it. I think I could do that.
Doreen that's brilliant but definitely couldn't do it

I'd reply with "would you say that to a man and risk getting your lights punched out? No? Then why say it to a woman? You must be one of 'those' men...." Tends to leave them feeling bad and with something to think about....

I get it a lot. Usually the men are older than me I'm late 40's. The other day standing at the bus stop a man in his 60's told me to cheer up its a nice day. In nearly every case they have kept walking so any responses I may deliver are at the back of their heads. I've never had a young person say it to me.
I find it offensive and humiliating and every time I've been angry because I'm on the back foot and that's what makes me angry. In my experience it seems to be an extention of those comedies of the 70's and 80's that used humiliation to get a laugh but I could be wrong.
However when I'm walking my 'giant staffy' type dog I never get it said to me and on those occasions I would definitely look miserable with a bag of dog pooh in my hand. In fact one regular cheer up person crosses the road when he sees us.
It's a power order. It seems to stem from these people having entitlement that they can tell me to cheer up....but only when I'm on my own.

This enrages me too! Pat your pocket and look embarrassed. Then say..." I seem to have run out of fucks to give". Can't take credit for this. Was on buzzfeed and will try to use it in future. Fuckin wankers.

I smile, that's hardwired. Unless something really awful has happened, in which case they get a glare. I get that it's sexist, and I'm aggrieved at that but I've had so much worse- I am sure many of us have. I have bern followed, sexually assaulted, bern called 'bitch' and 'slut' by total strangers, 'smile' hardly registers with me.