A bloke in the street said 'cheer up love, give us a smile' and I did. Urgh!!!

[YoJesse]

And now I'm pissed off with myself. I didn't feel like smiling, I don't think I should have to smile because some random male said I should. I just instantly did as I was told before my brain even engaged. Then he said 'ahh, that's much better baby face' I always do this or look embarrassed and scuttle by with my head down when blokes say stuff like this in the street even though I would call myself a feminist. (I'm not great at putting my feminist beliefs into action).

What do other women do? Withering look, sharp comment or just ignore.
Is it unreasonable for something like this to get to me that much?

The thing is...Whenever a man tells me to smile, he NEVER has a smile on his own face. Therefore my response is usually:

"You first"

This tends to throw them because they are not used to being ordered to be decorative. If I can be bothered, I'll treat them to my best teacher hard stare and a pointed comment about not being put on this earth to be decorative to random men.

I once, years ago, got the 'Cheer up, love, it might never happen' and I snarled 'it already has' - and then got a big sorry, and and embarrassed face. it fair cheered me up!

I once got told (by a manager) i always looked miserable. i told the old bat i just had 'one of those faces' and was told I was being insolent. I have to tell you she had 'one of those faces' too. Sometimes i wonder why i miss my nursing career.

Years ago, there I was dashing along the road with my double buggy and two very happy little boys, and I was stopped by 2 young men who were canvassing for God under the guise of the mormon church. They asked my if I wanted to be more happy and what was my relationship with God like. i told them was 'very happy thanks', and had no relationship with God. One turned to the other and said 'Gee, she's happy'. They seemed quite disappointed.

Slug - I have to use that next time - brilliant!

Love the responses

Mrs1990 personally I'd far rather someone asked me "are you OK? You look a bit down in the dumps" than give me an "order" to "cheer up". Being told to cheer up seems to be for their benefit because they don't like how my face looks without a smile, yet being asked if I'm OK is expression concern for me. BUT, I do not want a random stranger or shop worker doing either thanks very much. It's just intrusive and awkward, and I prefer to go about my daily life without people commenting on my appearance.

On a related topic, I was asked very brightly by a shop assistant (Waterstone's, Princes St, Edinburgh since you asked!!), 'And what kind of day have you had today?'. I was rendered almost speechless by the intrusiveness. Even on a good day this would have been too much. I had had an awful day. Other times i've bought books and people have commented on the book. That is fine for an inane shoppy chat. Often they've said nothing except what is requited for the financial transaction. That is fine too. In fact it's preferable. In my book !

A man said this to me once, as I was walking back from hospital after a miscarriage. I fucking smiled at him too. I was a bit younger, no way would I oblige now!

I have a "resting bitch face" (never knew there was a description for it until I had a teen!) I have two expressions - happy (I smile), normal - I look like the most miserable person ever when im perfectly fine. I don't have "pretty features", I have quite "sharp" features. If I had a pound for every time I've been told to smile...or for the people who've said "I thought you'd be a real bitch until I knew you". My face does not help me make friends!

I'd totally agree if those men also said it to other men, but they don't.

I ignored the man once. He started screaming abuse at me and following me down the street telling me what horrible things he was going to do to me. I now smile to be safe but I hate that that is what I have to do to feel safe walking down the street :(

I smile. But I'm not passive aggressive and I don't think everything is an insult.

This happens to me and I'm normally like you, annoyed at myself for smiling.

I wanted to say " would you smile if you'd just found out xxxx ( what that xxx is i dont know)?

Or " I 'll smile when you stop being a twat"

Or nothing. Why should I react to him at all?

It bugs me. I must look grumpy as a woman said it to me too once and i was equally irked that anyone invaded my face space!

I'm not PA either. But I think I have the right to walk around in public without having to be decorative for the enjoyment of every passing male.

To suggest that I have to look cheerful for your benefit is in fact, very insulting .

I'm not passive aggressive either - well not in this case! I don't understand- you think when randoms command you to smile, failure to do so is nasty?

Agree with nearly everyone. It's a show of male dominance and is really offensive. It hasn't happened to me for years, even though I probably generally look more pissed off than I did 20 years ago. Reinforcing the dominance view.

I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?

In Joe Pesci's words, Goodfellas

Passive aggressive for not wanting to take orders on how we should look from random men?

Righty-ho.

When I was at school the boys called me Stoneface as I just blanked them all the time when they were being ridiculous. It stands me in good stead now whenever I meet dicks on the street. I just turn my face into stone as if they don't even exist. They HATE that!

I used to get that comment a lot as a teenager. Either I had a very morose face or they were just saying it to get my attention. It used to give me the rage. These men (and it was always men) knew nothing about me or what was going on in my life.

I loathe this. It's patronising and horrible. (Whether said by a man or woman, but I've only ever heard it from a man.)

I tell them my dad's died. don't mention that was 10 years ago That shuts them up.

It's not just done by men to women, I've had many women say it to me also!

Oh and one time it was right after I heard that my uncle that I was close to died, and it was the it may never happen. They were pretty put out that it had in fact just happened and I launched into a miny tirade

I have never known a woman say it. I'd still think they were an idiot.