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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to buy birthday presents for daughter.

71 replies

Madsien2591 · 10/07/2016 22:40

Her birthday is the week after Christmas which she will be recieving loads of gifts.
We are flying to Disney land for her birthday to have lunch with the Disney princesses and to spend 5 days there.
I decided on no presents but my mum thinks it's unreasonable due to her age ( she will be 3 )

OP posts:
Original poster
Madsien2591 · 10/07/2016 22:41

Raised my other thread actually posted it said it hasn't sorry !

OP posts:
ArmySal · 10/07/2016 22:43

Isn't it a little early to decide? It's 5 months away and entirely your choice what you buy her or don't.

Itsaplayonwords · 10/07/2016 22:43

I think YABU. My birthday is close to Christmas and I have always had both birthday and Christmas presents. My parents always said that they buy two lots of presents for my siblings so it would be unfair not to for me.

Tiggeryoubastard · 10/07/2016 22:44

Bit shit to not buy your own child a birthday present, imo.

AnnaMarlowe · 10/07/2016 22:48

Well it's up to you but IMO a 3 yo child is unlikely to understand that lunch with the Disney princesses has to be paid for.

She is old enough however to realise she didn't get a present from Mummy.

I would think you could buy something inexpensive to unwrap personally.

Princesspinkgirl · 10/07/2016 23:15

I would buy my child a present too not even thinking twice

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 11/07/2016 08:49

Would you be thinking of doing this if her birthday was in June??! I didn't like the line 'her birthday is week after Christmas which means she be receiving lots of gifts. My birthday is on 22nd December and my mother always insisted I have two separate presents. Surely you could buy her a small gift! YABU

branofthemist · 11/07/2016 08:59

Personally I would get her a couple of small gifts.

The Christmas Dd was 3, we were flying to Florida in early January so didn't have loads of spare money. We spent very little but still got her something.

She is at an age where she will notice. I wouldn't spend a lot. Or keep some of her Christmas presents back.

However don't fall into the trap of not making a fuss of her birthday because it's near Christmas. My cousins birthday is on Boxing Day and it caused no end of issue as he felt his birthday was pretty much ignored. His parents did see the need to make fuss as it was the day after Christmas. I felt awful for him growing up.

ApocalypseSlough · 11/07/2016 09:01

At 3 she'll be happy with a magazine and a plastic tiara so there's no need not to give her anything. Maybe hold back a Disney Christmas present for her birthday?

OohMavis · 11/07/2016 09:04

The presents don't have to be huge or expensive, this is what my parents didn't realise as I was growing up (I have a birthday a few days before Christmas).

You could wrap up hairclips and little figurines, cheap bead bracelets and a book and she'll still be thrilled, I bet.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 11/07/2016 09:05

YABU.

It's her birthday, and she's too young to understand that the Disney trip would be instead of a wrapped up present to open. Just get a few small presents for her.

Also, here's a question for you - if your child's birthday was in the middle of June, would you decide not to buy her a birthday present because she gets loads of Christmas presents? If she had a June birthday and you'd buy her a birthday present, then you should buy her a birthday present for her week after Christmas birthday.

TroysMammy · 11/07/2016 09:06

Just buy her a dress up Disney Princess dress for her birthday or don't buy her so much for Christmas.

My birthday is in January as is my sisters. We had bikes one Christmas and a saddlebag and purse for birthdays.

Anyway it's too early to start thinking about Christmas, I'm still waiting for summer.

SpringerS · 11/07/2016 09:06

I have a few friends with a child with a birthday within a week of Christmas and they do something very minor on the child's birthday because anything else would be eclipsed by Christmas. But instead they make a big fuss over the half birthday. I think it's such a good idea as it means the child gets to have a birthday party, a cake, an equal amount of guests and presents as their non Christmas birthday peers, etc. So maybe hold off a small surprise from her Christmas stocking as a birthday gift so you have something to give her on the day. Then give her the full birthday experience at the end of June.

HelloWadeKinsella · 11/07/2016 09:09

You need to get her presents! But why not make them themed things you'd probably get for the trip, anyway? Like a nice autograph book for when she meets the characters, a Disney store tiara, a little princess bag for keeping autograph book in and a princess activity book/stickers and crayons for the flight - not expensive and will actually contribute to the excitement of the holiday.

NeedACleverNN · 11/07/2016 09:11

Yabu. My birthday is a week before Christmas and my mum made sure I had a birthday. No birthday/Christmas combo present.

Do you have any other children? Imagine how she would feel to see you give her brother or sister a present for their birthday but not her because it's so close to Christmas

MrsS1990 · 11/07/2016 09:15

Very unreasonable.
My sons birthday is 29th dec. he got heaps of xmas gifts from us and our huge fam. Loads of birthday gifts from me and his dad and grandparents, and money from the rest of the fam. We also took him to disney.

They don't choose when their birthday is.
If her birthday was in July, would you be asking the same question?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 11/07/2016 09:20

At 3 we have moved the day by a day or two because of work clashes. I would say that the size and timing of the gifts don't matter too much but I would give something. Can you buy something from the shop when you get there?

icanteven · 11/07/2016 09:23

She won't have the faintest idea that your incredibly costly trip to Disney to have lunch with a princess is related to her birthday, or have any way of attaching financial value to this trip. Do you expect her to understand that the trip is her birthday present at 3?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/07/2016 09:24

DP's birthday is Christmas. I always get him presents for both - wrapped in different paper. He'd get two lots of presents if he was born any other day, and it seems rather unfair that he should lose out because it's an expensive time of year.

The same is true of your daughter. Start saving now if it's a financial thing - proximity to Christmas and a holiday don't really make a difference. Plus she's 3, so she's probably not going to want anything too expensive. A princess dress and a teddy to take to meet the princesses would probably do!

PeggyMitchell123 · 11/07/2016 09:25

I couldn't not get her something. At 3 they are starting to understand birthdays. As others have said it's not her fault her birthday is right near Christmas. You don't have to spend a lot, just a few things she could use while on the trip. Maybe a princess dress or something like that.

StarryIllusion · 11/07/2016 09:28

I would hate my birthday to be overshadowed by Christmas. My cousin's is and she hates getting combined presents and cards. We always do it seperate. Ok the princess trip is her main present so just get her something small to unwrap. At 3 she won't understand about the trip being her gift. Why don't you get her a princess dress to wear to the lunch? They're about a tenner in Asda. Give her that and a dvd and she'll be thrilled. At 3 their expectations aren't high, they love any old tat. It doesn't need to be expensive.

Laiste · 11/07/2016 09:29

Personally i think a toddler that young would be just as thrilled with a couple of cheap presents and a trip to the local park for her birthday. She's 2 and you're planning to fly her to Disney Land for lunch with a princess just after xmas. Why on earth are you worrying about one more present?

AnneTwacky · 11/07/2016 09:33

Speaking as someone whose birthday is close to Christmas and ended up getting "joint presents" as a result, YABU. She will notice and will feel the injustice of her birthday not being properly recognised.

Save some of her presents you were going to give her for Christmas and make them her birthday presents.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 11/07/2016 09:33

I can't imagine not getting my child a birthday present... No matter how close their birthday was to Christmas.

You could buy 5 things from the pound shop even!

RiverTam · 11/07/2016 09:35

Very mean indeed. DD is the week before Christmas and there's no way we wouldn't get her presents just because Christmas is the next week. Though there's no way we'd be flying to Disneyland for her birthday either.