Page 2 | AIBU not to buy birthday presents for daughter.

Madsien2591 · 2016-07-10T21:40:57+00:00

Her birthday is the week after Christmas which she will be recieving loads of gifts. We are flying to Disney land for her birthday to have lunch with the Disney princesses and to spend 5 days there. I decided on no presents but my mum thinks it's unreasonable due to her age ( she will be 3 )

wizzywig · 11/07/2016 09:35

I must be a hard cow then. Id say youve planned an amazing birthday holiday and the character meal is the icing on the cake. I think youve done enough. Enjoy!

nannybeach · 11/07/2016 09:35

kids get far too much for Christmas and Birthdays these days ridiculous! She is old enough to be told Disneyland trip is Christmas/Birthday present. My Grandson was 5 last month, I said I wasnt buying him any presents as such, BUT, I paid £100 for the hire of the hall, and £275 for the entertainer, which did amount to the price of his presents. I did not buy a single present as well, and people yes, did ask what I had bought him!

MerryMarigold · 11/07/2016 09:35

I think they key here is She will be 3.

So, she is currently 2 and a half. I don't think she will notice. The idea of a princess dress-up is brilliant and also the trip is a special birthday present isn't it? It's hardly a joint Christmas/ birthday to have tea with Disney princesses on your birthday.

imwithspud · 11/07/2016 09:36

YABU. As pp have said you wouldn't even be posting this if her birthday was in July.

You don't have to spend lots either.

MerryMarigold · 11/07/2016 09:37

As pp have said you wouldn't even be posting this if her birthday was in July.

Why not? The present is a trip to Disneyland, isn't it? Wow, I wouldn't mind a trip to my dream destination as a birthday present.

damepeanutbutter · 11/07/2016 09:42

My DD2 was being induced the day after DS turned 3 so we decided to hold his birthday a week earlier. He had the full monty but it was very weird on his actual bday to act as though it wasn't there. Very odd. Everyone deserves a birthday.

Would you like yours to be ignored OP? Try it one year, it is feels awful. DH did that to me one year because we were staying with his extended family overseas and he didn't want to embarrass them into thinking they had to give me presents. He didn't discuss it with me, he just did it (like you are planning to do to your DC) and it was awful - nearly broke our marriage, it hurt that much.

Ditsy4 · 11/07/2016 09:48

Let her chose something from Disney before she leaves. She is going to want something anyway. Don't spend so much at Christmas. Other people will be also getting her presents then who may not buy birthday presents. Start putting a few little things away now. My kids received a present 1 from Santa and a stocking and a present from us, a book and a game. Usually they had a new outfit or jacket too.One of my daughter's friends received six bin bags full of presents. My daughter told me it was ridiculous ...she was six. My kids never felt deprived and are contented adults because they have what they can afford.

Liz09 · 11/07/2016 09:54

Christ, I must be mean because I don't see anything wrong with it...

Possibly just give her something small as a gift (it doesn't take much to impress a 3 year old - it doesn't need to be something expensive or flashy), or have her pick something out at the gift store at the end of Disney.

People seem to be missing the part where she's going to Disneyland for her birthday. She'll be impressed with that. Experiences mean more than things, and she's going to be so wrapped up in the moment that she will likely not even notice that you haven't showered her with gifts. She's only 3. The 3 year olds I know are only just beginning to grasp the concept of birthdays and Christmas. Choosing not to buy presents doesn't mean you're ignoring her birthday. The trip to Disney will be so much fun for her.

MerryMarigold · 11/07/2016 09:56

can't believe people are saying that having tea with princesses ON YOUR BIRTHDAY is ignoring it. That's just so ridiculous. It will be v special.

Verbena37 · 11/07/2016 09:58

Why don't you buy her a pretty Disney outfit or accessories to wear at the meal?

Liz09 · 11/07/2016 09:58

I like some of the other ideas about gifting her a princess dress to wear for the tea with the princesses. That's a sweet, inexpensive idea and all ties in.

Snowflakes1122 · 11/07/2016 10:01

YABU-my daughter is 3 days after Christmas, and I make a point of having a birthday for her. It's bad enough for kids that time of year as people forget or do a joint present for the two events.

Just buy a teddy if it's about money! But do celebrate it!

SheHasAWildHeart · 11/07/2016 10:01

As DD's birthday falls in half-term we usually go abroad for her birthday and I always buy her a few small presents because there's nothing like the joy of a child ripping of the wrapping paper on their birthday present.

HidingUnderARock · 11/07/2016 10:04

Please buy her a present to unwrap.
Christmas is for everyone, but her birthday is hers alone. Its her special day.
I know several people with birthdays near christmas who weren't given a normal birthday because of it. They did notice and feel sadness or resentment. Its like their birth wasn't special, even to their parents.

As others have said, being 3, the present doesn't have to be expensive, just age appropriate. It is not clear whether this is intended to be a one off, but if not, is there any chance of you having another child? Think very carefully before setting up something you won't want to follow through on fairly.

2nds · 11/07/2016 10:06

OP I take it your own birthday is nowhere near Christmas. Us Christmas babies are forever being told "You aren't getting this or that for your birthday because it's too close to Christmas" and I swear it's so fucking annoying.

And now no one ever wants to go out for my birthday cos they've got a work do or because they are saving their money for Christmas it sucks so much I no longer look forward to my birthday, haven't done in years.

Please give her something for her birthday and don't start what every December kid hates

Mycraneisfixed · 11/07/2016 10:08

Unreasonable at any age.

Enidblyton1 · 11/07/2016 10:10

She is only 3 and really doesn't need anything! She will love the trip to Disney :-) Children are given so much these days. I've just taken several huge bags of old toys to the charity shop because we were overrun with stuff. As others have said you could always wrap up a couple of things for her from the pound shop so that she has the fun of opening something from you.
I asked my 5 year old what her favourite birthday present was and she said her highlighter pens (cost approx £1.50). She had plenty of expensive/large presents from people that are lying discarded after just a few days. I remember another year she loved a little China tea set (from the pound shop). Young children have no concept of cost. For some reason they often prefer cheap tat to expensive stuff!
Have a lovely time on your trip!

EreniTheFrog · 11/07/2016 10:12

You really don't need to spend much on a 3 year old - just go to the Poundshop. There must be things that she always needs (new pjs, books etc) that you could wrap up?

noramum · 11/07/2016 10:18

My birthday and my sister's are beginning of December. We always got big birthday presents and the normal amount for Christmas.

My mum's birthday is 2nd Jan and she hated that she would get combined presents or just something small so she made sure she saved enough during the year to pay for it all.

At 3 it doesn't have to be big. Maybe something for the journey (if her birthday is before) or if her birthday is during the Disneylandvisit pack a new dress (they are horrendous expensive in the shops over there) for her to wear.

SparkleSoiree · 11/07/2016 10:21

I have a friend whose birthday is Christmas Eve and I always get a gift for her birthday and font use Christmas wrapping paper either!

Your DD is three and doesn't understand all the timescales and financial commitments around Christmas time so I would certainly buy her a gift - no matter how expensive or not - so she can open her birthday present like everyone else. Would you expect her to understand that meeting a fairytale character is her gift? Mine wouldn't...

It's really about acknowledging her special day in a way she can relate to and without cutting corners because of the time of year. Will she have a birthday cake whilst away so she can blow out her three candles?

sandbagsatdawn · 11/07/2016 10:22

Agree with everyone that she should have something to unwrap. Just hold a couple of Xmas presents back, and or buy some cheap bits and bobs. Age 3is not old enough to know or care how much things cost but old enough to know when you've had a present. I picked up bits in charity shops for mine at that age, they neither knew nor cared they weren't new.

WeeTinyMe · 11/07/2016 10:22

My DS's bday is the week before Christmas and I don't even have Christmas tree up or decorations as the way I see it is, it's not his fault his bday is so close to Christmas. The other DC get birthday banners and a big deal made over their bday, so he should also.
If get a couple of cheap presents for your DD. She wont know the value of money at age 3.

OrangesAreTheOnlyFruit · 11/07/2016 10:22

Please don't get into the habit of thinking that because her birthday is close to Xmas she doesn't need anything. She's only 3 and will appreciate any old tat! Its really irritating and rude to think that people who have Xmas birthdays can have joint Xmas/birthday pressies etc. Anyone who does it to me gets a joint pressie too, regardless of when their birthday is. I agree with other posters that she won't correlate a princess lunch as a gift.

BlowingThroughTheJasmineinMyMi · 11/07/2016 10:23

Just get her something small! Or disney stuff now so you dont have to buy it there.

Nanny0gg · 11/07/2016 10:25

My DS's bday is the week before Christmas and I don't even have Christmas tree up or decorations as the way I see it is, it's not his fault his bday is so close to Christmas. The other DC get birthday banners and a big deal made over their bday, so he should also.

My birthday is near Christmas and I always insist the tree is up. Makes it special for me. Cards don't go up till I take down the birthday ones though.