To report her if she does it again?

[Amy214]

Last weekend SIL had a big night out with friends (normal for her) she was really drunk and threw up. She popped round to our house the next day with the 2 children (under 5) after approximately 6-8 hours sleep, she still seemed pretty out of it (basically passed out on the sofa at one point) she complained that she still felt sick and dizzy. After 2 hours she finally left with her 2 children and drove home, i was sick with worry but they were ok. After a long discussion with dm i knew i should have reported her at the time. I have tried to discuss this with db but he doesn't seem to care (i did tell him that its not only her kids in the car with her its the innocent family going about their daily life that she may seriously injure) i was told that i was being stupid and that i should mind my own business i live in scotland the drink driving laws have changed and are different from the rest of the uk, she would've still been way over the limit the next day. Would it be U to report her? Not only to the police but social services aswell? I don't want them to lose their children but i think she needs some help.

So are these glass bottles laying all over the floor?

Have you seen this child reach for the bottles and his parents do nothing to stop him?
Are BOTH his parents that shit they would allow him to play with glass break it and then walk on it?
If tbat is tbe case then a drink problem is not the problem. They are neglectful parents both of them.

Dear me, some quite shouty and defensive posts on here! If the OP is concerned about her SIL's drinking she doesn't have to "prove" anything. She is just concerned. Reporting is too much, as nearly everyone on here has said.

Obviously, my POV might be skewed because of my mum, but if there is a genuine concern I think there is usually a reason for it.

They are not on the floor they are within reach. Things happen, accidents happen. They are left on the coffee table (which is about a foot high but they can reach whatever is left on it) the floor is tiled therefore if it falls it will smash. The kids are often left on their own while they tend to other things so if this bottle smashed it would take them around 30 seconds to a minute to get to the room, anything could happen in that space of time.

Cant actually see a reason for it though.

So far OPs reasons are:

Sil goes out more than db.
There are empty bottles in the house in reach of the child (db is responsible too for not moving them)
Sil says cant wait for a dirink tonight when kids are in bed . Lots of people drink in the evenings at home.
Sil stays out at hotels.
Sil left hotel and went home as she was unwell (not drunk) and felt rough tbe next day.

OP so your db is as much to blame for not miving them is he not?

I have cups on my coffee table and dc always knew to not touch. Have you seen the child grab these bottles?

Are they there all the time or the day after your db and sil have had a drink in?

See you are being very disambiguous OP.

I don't have to prove anything. Your children are different from anyone else's. Your dc may not touch anything but i know these children and they are very quick to grab. Scottish law has recently changed it does not matter how much you have drank or how recently, you are still a criminal as you are over the limit! Even if it is the morning/day after.

Scottish law scottish kaw us all you talk about but Ctually your sil broke no law as you have no proof she was over the limit.

You said yourself she didnt stay out because she felt ill so her rough state the following day could be because of that not booze.

Yes my dc are different however it doesnt stop your db moving the oh so dangerous glass bottles that the dc may break then eat does it but then your sil has a drink problem or foes bul have a parenting problem?

kitty i dont understand why you being so nasty. She was quite clearly over the limit.

I am not being nasty.

You are assuming she was over the limit yet you have no proof and you were not worried enough to do anything about it.
You state she has a drink problem but nothing you have said backs that up.
The empty bottles thing well your precious brother is just as responsible on that one

Come on OP to acuse somebody of a drink problem and endangering a child you need more than that.

I don't understand why you seem so overly invested in this thread, Kitty, and so extremely upset and defensive. Are you the OP's SIL??

if your db has already been i trouble hes stupid to risk hi children lives letting his partner do it

not alot u can do op except if she does it again report immediately to the police

Dont be stupid.

I find it disgusting that the OP is calling her sil an alkie based on nothing.
Also that the precious brother is oh so hard done by yet equally responsible for the dangerous glass bottles yet his parenting is not brought in to question.

Ah, and now name-calling: you are charming. I seem to have hit a nerve.

My db works 7 days of the week which i am sure i have already mentioned
She drinks every night - looks forward to this drink, puts the children to bed early rather than spending time with them, she doesn't see them all day.
Leaves bottles lying around
Drinking until she vomits
Her fridge has more alcohol in it than food
She drinks excessively
These are all symptoms of alcohol abuse i have not stated anywhere shes an alcoholic, in fact kitty you are reacting a lot worse than what my db and sil would.
Just because you aren't visibly drunk and feel perfectly fine doesn't mean you aren't drunk. Im going to repeat myself again i asked if she was fine to drive and i trusted her judgement.

When my brother was caught he had no children and learned from his mistake.
My 'precious' db is hardly in the house as he is always working.

I was making a statement. I am not backtracking at all. I am still standing by what i originally said..

I think YABU to report her to the police or social services based on the evidence you have. I think you would be reasonable to lend a listening ear if she wants to talk about it but otherwise butt out unless she does something that is obviously against the law or glaringly unsafe.

Ah, and now name-calling: you are charming. I seem to have hit a nerve.

Not name calling at all.

You asked if i was the sil and i told you not to be stupid because well its a very stupid question.

Nope cant see anywhere in the thread you havd said db works 7 days a week. Plus if he workx too much to move some bottles how is sil able to go out to hotels so often?

Half that stuff in your last post the booze in tbe fridge more than food and drinking till she vomits is new.

Also the 630 bed time is not unreal. My friends 6 yo dd goes at that time. Its a none issue op.
Plus why is your bil letting there be more booze than food? Why isnt he doing more? He is responsible too.

kitty why are you so angry? Im sure i said in the op that she was really drunk and threw up she able to go to hotels because as i have said the kids are here overnight which is fine with me as i would rather they were somewhere safe
When did i say that a 6.30pm bedtime was an issue? He works 7 days a week kitty he comes in from work has something to eat then goes straight to bed.