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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report her if she does it again?

239 replies

Amy214 · 09/07/2016 23:25

Last weekend SIL had a big night out with friends (normal for her) she was really drunk and threw up. She popped round to our house the next day with the 2 children (under 5) after approximately 6-8 hours sleep, she still seemed pretty out of it (basically passed out on the sofa at one point) she complained that she still felt sick and dizzy. After 2 hours she finally left with her 2 children and drove home, i was sick with worry but they were ok. After a long discussion with dm i knew i should have reported her at the time. I have tried to discuss this with db but he doesn't seem to care (i did tell him that its not only her kids in the car with her its the innocent family going about their daily life that she may seriously injure) i was told that i was being stupid and that i should mind my own business Confused i live in scotland the drink driving laws have changed and are different from the rest of the uk, she would've still been way over the limit the next day. Would it be U to report her? Not only to the police but social services aswell? I don't want them to lose their children but i think she needs some help.

OP posts:
Amy214 · 10/07/2016 22:33

I don't want to talk about how over the limit she was i know how much she drinks whenever she goes out and i know how much people our age drink they don't stop at 2 or 4

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 10/07/2016 22:33

Thank god for that.

Dontyoulovecalpol · 10/07/2016 22:38

Sorry Lizzylou I misread your post

Pearlman · 11/07/2016 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dontyoulovecalpol · 11/07/2016 07:45

God when I have a good booze up I can't remember how much I drank, let alone my random SIL knowing

The pearl clutching about alcohol and complete lack of understanding of alcoholism on MN is draining at times

Pleaseeatyourbreakfast · 11/07/2016 07:58

No don't report her please .. Talk to her ? Talk to the rest of the family .
I find it really upsetting to think of somebody going to ss behind a family members back . I think if you have a concern keep it in the family.

Amy214 · 11/07/2016 08:39

I said i knew how she usually drank and she mentioned what she did drink.

I am not going to do this for the full day again we have established that i am going to have a calm conversation. Its enough now how much she did or didn't drink isn't important.

OP posts:
Amy214 · 11/07/2016 08:40

I am not basing how much she drinks on what people my age drink. She told me what she could remember drinking and i said she may or may not have drunk more as i know what people my age are like, you have twisted my words pearl.

OP posts:
SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 11/07/2016 08:51

Amy, honestly I would hide this thread. There have been some posters on here who I think have become over invested in 'winning' the argument and seem to be treating you as their punching bag if I'm totally honest.

You know what your motives are and you sound like a decent human being to me who is concerned about her family.

I'm bowing out not too. The "pearl clutching" and "failing to understand alcoholism" comments are actually quite insulting to me given what I've posted on here about my personal experience with it.

If you have a feeling something is wrong you in all probability have reason to. I'm not sure if they can help but what about talking to a charity like Frank? I'm sure all the "there's nothing wrong with having a good social life" brigade will laugh at me for suggesting that, but I don't really mind that. There are worse things than a bunch of strangers thinking I'm a pearl clutcher.

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 11/07/2016 08:53

"bowing out now", not "not" Blush.

GabsAlot · 11/07/2016 09:35

pearlman u keep stating guildlines a law

its not-people process drink differently -ive been on coures about this u cannot say come 2 o clock she will be sober

it doesnt work like that-different body types weight height how much theyve eaten all alter the process

and no we dont know what the sil drank exactly i know this jut stating how your posts are wrong with your facts"

GabsAlot · 11/07/2016 09:39

*courses

Amy214 · 11/07/2016 09:51

I reported this thread and since it won't disappear i am now hiding it, there are a few people here who understand my concern for my sil and my family. And the people who are hounding me and trying to get me to prove things that i shouldn't need to prove, my concern should be enough for you.

OP posts:
SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 11/07/2016 09:57

If you haven't hidden this yet Amy:

m.talktofrank.com/worried-about-someone?node=172

I found this^^ through Frank; I'm sure if you called, they could advise you if you want.

They can advise on alcohol as well as illegal drugs btw (some people think it's only illegal drugs they advise on).

I'm definitely off this time Smile! Best wishes OP.

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