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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear jeans to a wedding

252 replies

sepa · 09/07/2016 17:43

I have a wedding coming up. Not back to pre baby body and still feel very self conscious about wearing dresses.
I was thinking black jeans & heels with this white top - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0409683002.html
And this jacket - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0338033003.html
Or will it look too casual? Hopefully the links all work Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
bakeoffcake · 09/07/2016 18:39

FGS!

It depends on the wedding!

My DH has worn jeans to several weddings with a lovely shirt and linen jacket. The couples were arty types having a very informal day and DH wasnt the only one wearing jeans. He looked absolutely lovely.

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in OP, I'm sure you're friends will be more bothered that you are there and happy than anything else, well as hosts they should be, anything else is bloody rude.

bakeoffcake · 09/07/2016 18:40

wallis you sound lovely Hmm

usual · 09/07/2016 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KoalaDownUnder · 09/07/2016 18:41

Yeah, of course there are some weddings at which it is okay.

However, I think it's a good rule of thumb that if you have to ask, it's probably best not to.

Inertia · 09/07/2016 18:41

I'd say no to jeans unless you're sure it's a super casual wedding.

It sounds like you're a similar shape to me- can I recommend this dress ?

It looks terrifyingly super clingy/ tight on the model in the photo, but actually it's a very forgiving shape and fabric , and if you've got a decent bra and control pants it covers all sorts of lumps and bumps (I found the sizing to be accurate). The black colour means that there are no shadows cast by lumpy body parts, and you can choose bright accessories.

(Had to order online as it wasn't available in store, and to be honest it really looks unimpressive until you put it on !)

bakeoffcake · 09/07/2016 18:43

In fact a wedding we went to two years ago, the groom was in jeans. He looked absolutely comfortable, fab and happy.

sharknad0 · 09/07/2016 18:43

Absolutely not!

Even if you go to a beach wedding, it's not the best outfit, it's just disrespectful. All guests have to do is be reasonably smart and not upstage the bridge. If the bride asks her friends to wear jeans, it's one thing, but otherwise big no. It looks like you can't be bothered to make an effort. In a world full of Primark and online cheap shops, it's easy to dress up nicely for nothing.

zen1 · 09/07/2016 18:43

I think that outfit with black jeans would be ok. The last wedding I went to, I was heavily pregnant and wore black leggings and a top. No one cared - they were all focused on the bride.

diddl · 09/07/2016 18:43

How old are these people saying it's too casual?

I thought that I was quite a stickler for tradition but blimey!

Will the couple be married if Op wears jeans?

Isn't that the point of the day?

RubbishMantra · 09/07/2016 18:44

What about a 1950s stylee nipped in at the waist dress, with built in netted/flarey petticoat?

sharknad0 · 09/07/2016 18:49

How old are these people saying it's too casual?

my 14 yo daughter

sepa · 09/07/2016 18:52

I think I may invest in some raw chicken to eat the day before Grin

I'm going to get some cigarette trousers from next or asos I think and see what it's like.

I really wouldn't feel comfortable in a dress or skirt as I can never coordinate skirts with tops properly so I think the way forward is trousers

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 09/07/2016 18:52

Gosh, no. Far far too casual. It's something I'd wear to work or out shopping!

I think cigarette trousers and the top with a more formal jacket would be OK.

I think it's just the combination of jeans and a jersey/slub type jacket that makes it too casual.

usual · 09/07/2016 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ENormaSnob · 09/07/2016 19:01

I would attend a night do in that outfit.

But, I live in uniform or farm clothes so anything involving heels and a jacket is automatically classed as smart Wink

BillSykesDog · 09/07/2016 19:01

Surely people don't get het up about this sort of thing anymore?

Well yes they do actually. In the real world most people still want to demonstrate to the couple and their family that they are important enough to make an effort for.

It's only on MN where guests compete to show how little they give a shit about people who have dared to be uppity enough to assume they're so important people would be interested in them getting married in the first place.

As far as I can work out general MN wedding etiquette for the couple is that they need to get married in a public lav with 2 or 3 guests, no presents or reception with the bride wearing a used dish rag and the groom in a fourth hand tracksuit and rings made out of foil. And if the dish rag or foil comes from Sainsbury's rather than Lidl then they are clearly up themselves.

Apparently for guests the etiquette is that you must begrudge every part of the day, from the gift to £2 spent on a coke yet be extremely demanding and critical about what you get in return including food and entertainment and expect the bride and groom to source you accommodation in a five star hotel for 6 people for a fiver. All children should be dressed as bridesmaids and page boys (especially if they're not invited to be one) and adult guests should either dress in a ball gown or like the sort of tart who hangs around the gas works doing £20 tricks or like they're about to do a hard day's work spreading slurry or collecting bins.

Suffice to say I think most MN wedding advice is balls.

OP in your case I think the top and jacket are lovely, but I would suggest white trousers, skirt or jeans with a really dressy bag and nice accessories. That would look 'weddingy' and I think white is okay when it's trousers and the jacket is pink. Black trousers/jeans/heels would just look like you'd come straight from work without changing.

firstandmiddle · 09/07/2016 19:01

I hate dressing up and am a slob at the best of times, but even I have to say that
Jeans are too casual for a wedding, or a funeral.

GeorgeTheThird · 09/07/2016 19:02

No. It's a nice outfit. But I'd wear it to do the shopping, not to go to a wedding.

sepa · 09/07/2016 19:04

My arse cannot pull off white trousers

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 09/07/2016 19:09

Are you taking the baby?

If you are, don't worry, you could go wearing neon hot pants and no one will notice you 😁

You've just had a baby, wear what's comfortable physically & you feel happy in. Though if your baby is now 21, you might need to find a different excuse soon 😁

snapcrap · 09/07/2016 19:09

Oh I'm with you BillSykes. The Mumsnet attitude towards weddings is like some fucking parallel universe.

Coulddowithanap · 09/07/2016 19:10

Wear what you feel comfortable in, nothing worse than being uncomfortable all day.

There was a guy wearing jeans at the last wedding we went to.

DampSqid · 09/07/2016 19:10

I think the jeans would look absolutely fine. I'd wear them with the top and blazer you suggested. I might add more fancy make up and accessories.

I think it's much more important to feel comfortable than to wear something glitzy.

I find a lot of wedding guests look a bit ridiculous as they are so over dressed.

I'm surprised so many posters don't think it's ok. Confused

MrsDeVere · 09/07/2016 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Noonesfool · 09/07/2016 19:15

Does "mumsnet" think with a hive brain to decide its attitudes?

I didn't get that email...