to think it's not odd my baby wakes up at night?

[hereagainalways]

DS is 4 months old, EBF. He goes down for the night between 6 and 630 (early I know but he just can't stay awake past that) and is up for the day around 6am, sometimes 5.30. During the night he wakes (to feed) at approximately 10, 2 and 4. I have tried resettling him without feeding at the 2am feed (dummy, white noise etc) but he won't have it and it's just easier to feed him peacefully and have him go straight back to sleep tbh.

My NCT group look at me like this when I tell them how much he wakes up and say stuff like oh sorry you have such a dreadful sleeper. Their babies either sleep through or only wake up once apparently.

Don't get me wrong as I would love it if he slept through obviously but I really thought this was quite normal for babies??

Besides which do you really find it so difficult to understand your way is not the only correct way to establish good sleep habits?

I used to wake 14 times a night as a baby. My sister slept through from 4 weeks. We were both bf on demand. Our mother did nothing different with either of us.

All babies are different.

I didn't say my way was the correct way. I said if you're knackered and your baby is 4 months old, there are options available to try, so don't kid yourself that there aren't.

Also accept that some people try everything and still have shit sleepers. However I have witnessed my nearest and dearest walking around with a baby monitor attached to their ear, insisting that baby isn't settling/is disturbing/needs a feed/is about to spontaneously combust, simply because they are not absolutely silent. They jump to react at the slightest change of breathing that naturally happens as we sleep and stir. And then insist that they just have a bad sleeper. Not you don't, you've created that situation with your nervous over reacting.

I think you have mistaken my thread as a request for assistance with a bad sleeper/moan about no sleep. It was neither of those things.

I was merely seeking confirmation that my baby's night wakings were in the range of expected and normal for his age, which as we've seen can range from sleeping through 12 hours to waking every hour.

If you were after professional advice, you are in the wrong place. This is an opinion site? So like it or not, you are going to get opinions. Not to mention that you sought them.

I didn't want advice.

I think you're missing my point, inlovewithhubby . I'm not talkijg about sleep training babies with ear infections. I'm saying that ear infections, like night waking, are not fully within our control. My DC has never had an ear infection - I'm happy about that, but I don't pretend it's all down to my great parenting.

You talk about taking active steps to get your babies to sleep, making a choice to stop night wakings, and so on. You're not acknowledging that lots of us took many of the same active steps you did - and it didn't have the same result, because our babies are different people with different temperaments and different needs.

Confirmation, advice, potato, potahto.

53rd - I'm saying that likening a habit of bad sleeping to ear infections is wrong - I don't agree that in most cases they are similarly the result of bad fortune. Ear infections cannot be avoided point blank, poor sleep can most certainly be ameliorated, with active intervention, in most cases.

Well, feel free to tell me what active intervention could have fixed the "bad habit" of my own baby's sleeping. I'm all ears!

I'm not a pro, talk to your health visitor if you're concerned.

It always astonishes me that people who have apparently have had success doing one thing with their own DC then say with real authority that will definitely work for all children and if it doesn't you're obviously not trying hard enough.

I'm not concerned. I'm trying to point out to you that it's not particularly helpful, accurate or kind to tell people that they're making a rod for their own back because your babies sleep better than theirs did. Your own experience of your baby's sleep does not actually mean you're an authority on baby sleep.

There are seven billion people on the planet. All of those either are babies or were babies once. Out of those seven billion babies, you have experience of parenting... two? Three?

Roasted, I'm not sure how I could make it clearer that I was talking about most cases, other than writing those exact words. Which I've done. I've fully accepted that there are exceptions. And written that also. Think you're reading what you want to read.

53rd - does your experience with your own 2 or 3 make your opinion any more valid than mine? Of course not, don't be silly. We are all entitled to our opinions, not least on an opinion site.

No, of course I'm not an expert on all babies. That's why not claiming that what works on mine will work on everybody else's.

I had a really easy time breastfeeding. I am pleased about this, obviously! But I wouldn't go round telling people who didn't have an easy time that they were just making a rod for their own back if they just did what I did.

Yes but most people here are offering kind and supportive opinions.

Not opinions designed to make you feel like a shit parent.

if they didn't do what I did, even

Yy 53rd. Also had a v easy time bfeeding. But if someone posted saying : "AIBU to find breastfeeding hard", I wouldn't come on saying, yes yabu, it was a piece of piss for me and all you need to do is X,y,z.

Why on earth are people debating on how good your parenting skills are because your baby sleeps through at 4 months?

Every baby is different. Some sleep through from a young age, some take a bit longer. Leaving them to CIO at 4 months is cruel.

Dd slept through from 4 months. Ds didn't start sleeping through until 14 months. They now both sleep lovely all the way through.

Thank you NN. That is the point I was trying to make.

Actually, to get back to the OP's point - my own NCT group flipped round at about 4/5 months, with the constantly waking babies starting to sleep much better, and the sleep-through-the-night babies suddenly waking up all the time. Just when you think you've got a handle on it...

You shouldn't be having to say thank you. It's common sense.

No one would say well I must be a better parent because my child crawled at 8 weeks old. They would say mine crawled at 8 weeks old but every baby is different aren't they? They all get there in the end

The thing is there is a real prevalent attitude now that if your baby doesn't "sleep through" you are doing something wrong. Even at really young ages. I've been asked if he's sleeping through yet since he was 4 weeks old!!

That doesn't mean I'm bitter towards those whose babies do sleep through or think they're lying or unresponsive etc. Quite the contrary. We all struggle with different things.

I just think there's something wrong when the expectation is for baby to sleep through.

My son is 4 1/2 months and still wakes at 11/12 then 3/4 then 7. He was 5 weeks premature and suffered silent reflux and cmpi. Until recently I was up at 430 most mornings as he would only sleep upright. He can't take more than 4oz at a time as it makes his reflux horrendous. I can't believe the sorry but total crap I am reading a lot fixing the problem if your baby still wakes st night for feeding. They are still much to young , some babies get the energy they need and sleep longer at night some don't. My dd had same reflux but was slightly better sleeper. Both terrible nappers. There is no right or wrong answer when babies are so small. It's really detrimental to the parent to suggest that if they are still waking 2/3 times a night to be fed they are doing something wrong. I hate hearing from santicmonious parents who think they have all the answers

I thought the original question was 'it's not odd for a baby to wake up at night?'
My answer - no it's not odd at all
I didn't see OP complaining bitterly, she may be tired but is perfectly happy at this stage for baby to wake up.
Found it hilarious that your nct group all have babies that sleep through, although when I checked (10 years ago) it meant 12-5am so who knows how people interpret it! My nct group on the other hand were all helping each other with sleep training and it was me that had a baby that slept for 13 hours (7pm-8am) at 8 wks but I felt I couldn't tell anyone and also couldn't take part in any sleep conversations. FWIW- She was a big baby with a ginormous tummy, formula fed by then with a ginormous bottle and the key thing was she sucked her thumb at 8 weeks. DS found his thumb at 3 months and also could roll onto his front to sleep so he slept through then. It was very clear it was nothing to do with my parenting and all about the thumb!