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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's not odd my baby wakes up at night?

230 replies

hereagainalways · 08/07/2016 06:38

DS is 4 months old, EBF. He goes down for the night between 6 and 630 (early I know but he just can't stay awake past that) and is up for the day around 6am, sometimes 5.30. During the night he wakes (to feed) at approximately 10, 2 and 4. I have tried resettling him without feeding at the 2am feed (dummy, white noise etc) but he won't have it and it's just easier to feed him peacefully and have him go straight back to sleep tbh.

My NCT group look at me like this Shock when I tell them how much he wakes up and say stuff like oh sorry you have such a dreadful sleeper. Their babies either sleep through or only wake up once apparently.

Don't get me wrong as I would love it if he slept through obviously but I really thought this was quite normal for babies??

OP posts:
swelchphr · 08/07/2016 16:50

As others have said, totally normal. First off, babies have small stomach so they aren't holding much, and secondly EBF babies eat more often because their bodies process it differently (quicker), making them hungry more often then FF babies. I have FF babies that were beginning to sleep through the night at 4 months and knowing this about EBF babies, I wouldn't flinch or think your situation is odd at all. Although sleep sucks now, it won't be forever, and believe it or not you'll miss your quiet middle of the night bonding time.

MrsDoylesTeaParty · 08/07/2016 18:50

Totally normal! I wish people would understand and accept that all babies are different. I wouldn't call them liars about their own experiences though, my son slept 12hrs straight at that age (that lucky streak ended at teething!) I'm not expecting to be as lucky with number two.

Oly5 · 08/07/2016 20:34

Normal.
Both mine up every two hours at that age.
Didn't sleep through regularly til they were 18 months old. Now sleep 11 hours straight through!
Never left them to cry and very happy with that decision!
It all passes

Primaryteach87 · 08/07/2016 20:40

Normal! My son mostly slept through 12 hours from 7months, so I count him as a really good sleeper but at 4months he was waking every 2 hours for feeds.

WhooooAmI24601 · 08/07/2016 21:11

Perfectly normal. Both of mine were breastfed, DS1 decided to sleep through from 10pm-5am each night from around 12 weeks old, it took DS2 4 and a half years before he stopped the nighttime japery and even now at 5 and a half has a penchant for marching into our room shouting "I'm done with the sleeping" at 3am as though I'm going to leap out of bed and get the Playmobil castle out.

Some sleep for prolonged periods, some just don't. No such thing as "good" and "bad" anything when it comes to babies. They just do their baby thing and we try our best to figure it all out without going slightly mad.

swelchphr · 08/07/2016 21:36

They just do their baby thing and we try our best to figure it all out without going slightly mad.

^ Well said.

CharlieSierra · 08/07/2016 22:39

cathf that's exactly what I did except I was able to persuade 2 of them to feed at 11 instead of 2, I tried it with the other one but he would still wake again so I left it. Then the big dilemma was how long to carry on waking them to feed before I went to bed. My friends and sister all did the same.

Thomasisintraining · 08/07/2016 22:52

My older two were formula fed and seemed to go longer between feeds than dc3 who was BF and both ff babies slept through very early but honest I found BF ds was in the main easier. I remember on each pregnancy after my having my first baby the thing I dreaded most was the exhausted night feeds, for the older 2 feeds took so long and then winding and unsettled tummies after.

However on dc3 we co slept so he just fed on and off all night but I dosed and slept while he fed. I loved, loved, loved BF at night especially when I went back to work and it gave me a chance to spend time with the baby that we really should not be getting. I only knocked it on the head at 16months because I was working full time and doing a masters and I found ds started to get restless after feeds so I needed more sleep to function.

elpth · 08/07/2016 23:10

Dizzyfucker that wasn't what I meant, I meant the website already linked to https://www.isisonline.org.uk/howbabiesssleep/normalsleeppdevelopment/
But that's an interesting picture thank you. ISIS has a lovely graph showing the huge range of what's normal and it's almost anything (as can be seen from this thread) which is comforting I find. Especially when on the third wake up by 2am Hmm (Currently DS is sleeping well, yippee!)
I've also heard people saying their baby "sleeps through apart from feeds". WTF?!

elpth · 08/07/2016 23:13

It's inserted extra letters again dammit!!
https://www.isisonline.org.uk
Then click on how babies sleep and normal sleep development.
Hope that works...

MrsDoylesTeaParty · 08/07/2016 23:14

Thomas 3 kids, full time job and a masters! You are a superhero Grin I am knackered just looking after one toddler all day!

BeenThereTooSEL · 08/07/2016 23:15

My DD is almost a year and still wakes 4 times between 1930-0500!!!

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 08/07/2016 23:16

Just chiming in with another "totally normal"! Smile

PunkrockerGirl · 08/07/2016 23:36

Of course it's normal.
Fwiw, I found my local nct the most unfriendly, unwelcoming, judgemental group I've ever had the misfortune to meet. I'd just moved to the area with a newborn, family 200 miles away and dh working all the time. HV suggested I join nct for support that was a huge joke
So, OP, I would take what they say with a huge pinch of salt. My experience was 25 years ago and it'd be nice to think that things have changed, but

PunkrockerGirl · 08/07/2016 23:38

posted too soon :
but I'm not holding my breath.

lalalalyra · 08/07/2016 23:54

Very normal. I remember despairing when someone at baby group talked about their baby "sleeping right through" when my twins were up like clockwork 4 hourly. At one point they were like a tag team with different routines.

Then discovered that the other Mum went to bed after midnight and was up for the day at 5am! Even my subscribers to "sleep is for the weak" managed that sometimes!

So everyone's perception of"right through" can be different too.

Also depends how they settle. DD3 wakes at 2 then at 5am atm. My friend feels terribly sorry for me....but although her DD sleeps 11-7 currently she screams inconsolably every night from 10-11, where as DD3 can currently be put down anywhere and as long as she's cosy she'll sleep and she wakes/feeds for 10 mins good each time.... So who actually deserves the pity (if anyone) out of us? Not actually me with the non-allnighter

tappitytaptap · 09/07/2016 09:59

Whooo is spot on! Huge variety of sleep patterns in our NCT group - all 'normal'. We're almost 15 weeks in with our first and he's lovely but sometimes wish he came with some sort of manual Wink

dylsmimi · 09/07/2016 10:21

All normal - some sleep more, some eat 'better' others crawl /walk / talk/ potty train before the others.
In my experience I think people are trying to be sympathetic whilst thinking 'please don't ask me what my baby is sleeping - if it's good it will jinx it!'
My friend regularly used to say how my ds's were so hard to get to nap and how bad they were at sleeping it did get to me as I felt it was a criticism of me and them but I think she was really trying to sympathise
not sure she is aware just how much my 3.5yr old still wakes in the night Blush

HumTiddlyTum · 09/07/2016 10:45

Whatever your baby does is their normal. My DS1 was FF and was going 12 - 6 at 4 weeks, DS2 was ebf and went 12 - 6 at 5 weeks.

SparklySandals · 09/07/2016 11:01

I could have written your post, my baby is the same age and my NCT group is apparently made up of babies that sleep 7 - 7 and have done since they were 5 minutes old... Hmm

I think my DC does quite well if he only wakes 2/3 times overnight but I have wondered in the past if there is something wrong with him or with me because he doesn't sleep through. This thread is a reminder that it's totally normal.

Roomba · 09/07/2016 13:23

This sounds perfectly normal to me. Even DS1, who is an amazing sleeper, was waking just like this at the same age.

I think it's very unusual for babies to sleep right through at such a young age, especially if they are breastfed. Obviously, some do - but most won't. I'd expect an NCT leader to know that! Or maybe everyone in her groups just lied about how often their babies wake (I know a few people from baby groups who told me their babies slept all night, but their partners told a very different story)?

bruffin · 09/07/2016 13:34

-Ignore ignore ignore, they are fudging the truth! That is total nonsense.

I think it's very unusual for babies to sleep right through at such a young age, especially if they are breastfed again nonsense

They are not fudging the truth. it is perfectly normal for babies to sleep through before that. Both mine s;ept through from 12 weeks, ie they went to be before we did and slept until 7am. one was breastfed and the other wasnt.

Fomalhaut · 09/07/2016 14:55

Both sleeping through ( lucky bastards) and waking loads are completly normal at that age, and for months after. Some do, some don't. It seems to be largely genetic although routines and whatnot can alter it to a degree.

If they're making you feel bad about your baby's sleep then prepare for them to be making you feel bad about rolling/walking/crawling/teething/talking etc in the future. Maybe consider if this is a group that really does support you?

All babies are different. All have things they get faster or slower. My nine month old is a rubbish sleeper, but has great fine motor skills. He's not anywhere near crawling but he's got a mouth full of teeth and a few words. As long as theyre hitting milestones and you're ok then all is well,

squizita · 10/07/2016 20:13

Bruffin "unusual" doesn't mean never - you had babies that slept through at a younger age than average. Lucky you! But at 4 months more babies DO wake at least once a night than don't. That's a statistical fact (see the Infant Sleep links above for the graphs).

In the context of the worried OP, declaring it nonsense that her baby is normal based on your (healthy, normal, better at sleeping younger) babies could be upsetting and worrying.

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