to think it's not odd my baby wakes up at night?

[hereagainalways]

DS is 4 months old, EBF. He goes down for the night between 6 and 630 (early I know but he just can't stay awake past that) and is up for the day around 6am, sometimes 5.30. During the night he wakes (to feed) at approximately 10, 2 and 4. I have tried resettling him without feeding at the 2am feed (dummy, white noise etc) but he won't have it and it's just easier to feed him peacefully and have him go straight back to sleep tbh.

My NCT group look at me like this when I tell them how much he wakes up and say stuff like oh sorry you have such a dreadful sleeper. Their babies either sleep through or only wake up once apparently.

Don't get me wrong as I would love it if he slept through obviously but I really thought this was quite normal for babies??

Completely normal. Also, a baby can sleep through at 4 months but begin waking during the night at 10 months/ 18 months/ 2 years. I reckon that most parents experience bad sleepers at some point during their children's lives.

I think my 4 month old is a good sleeper as she feeds twice a night (not counting the 10pm dream feed) at 145 and 430. Then sleeps till 6am. She settles well after feeding. But people always look baffled when I say she's a good sleeper.

Although they probably didn't have a first baby that woke 20 times a night screaming and still doesn't sleep through at nearly 3

When my bottle fed DS was about 9 weeks old he started sleeping through. The only times he woke were when he was ill. He did wake up early though and refused to go back to sleep. Swings and roundabouts..........

Another one here saying very normal. There always seems to be competition between new mum's about who's baby slept best and the 'sleeping through' thing, BF v FF, then it was best weaning method, crawling, walking soonest, then its potty training...... IT'S NOT A COMPETITION!!!

I've finally managed to let it all wash over me but at baby groups/ playgroups etc there's always a topic of discussion that usually involves a couple of no it all mummy's that have the perfect child and will very competitively discuss how amazing their darling is as whatever stage they are at and everyone else gets patronised/sympathy or looked down on for whatever it is they are doing 'wrong'.

My DS was still waking at least 3 times a night at 4 months. At least 2 twice at 9 months and still once at until 15months. At the time I was devastated that according to 'everyone else' that was terrible. I've since realised that it was perfectly normal but the other mums in same boat just didn't like to argue with Alpha know-it-all-mum-with-perfect-baby so kept quiet.

I will also add that just because a baby sleeps through early it by no account means that that baby will continue to be a good sleeper. It would seem that often (within my baby friend circle) those that are 'great' in the first few months get very unsettled by teething and will not sleep so well as they get older and don't go to sleep as easily etc. Whereas my DS didn't reliably sleep through till about 15months, but once he did he's been amazing. We worked really hard on routine, getting him to self settle etc when we felt he was old enough and then only took about a week. So now we have our bedtime routine put him in his cot at about 7.30pm walk out the door and that's it don't hear another peep until about 7am next morning. He's really good.

Just remember everything is a phase and they all different.

That does seem a lot of waking up to me. My boy is 4 months old and has been sleeping through the night since around 12 weeks.
But every child is different and develops at different stages so we shouldn't really compare but inevitably we do!
My little boy has only just started to roll over and sit on his own, where as other babies did this much earlier than him but they didn't sleep through the night.
Your baby will probably be quicker to crawl, walk and speak so it all evens out.
As long as you are ok with getting up that many times it's fine. I couldn't cope with getting up at 2am in the first 3 months so was keen to move my baby on to sleeping through!

Totally normal. I read an article lately about what sleeping through the night really means to some people. To me it means 7pm-6am. But some in this article would say yeah my child sleeps through I dream feed him at 2am, so surely that means they are up at 2am anyway so why try twist the truth of sleeping through? Some class 11-5 as sleeping through, as they do the last feed before they go to bed, again I personally don't agree.

My five month old has been very wakeful over the past couple of months-he can need resettling up to 7 times in the night by BF/dummy/cuddling etc. I'm v tired! My Nct group also seem to have good sleepers! Odd isn't it!

Notsunkinyet - what do you mean by 'as long as you're ok with that'? I'm as ok as I can be with my baby being so wakeful but I really have no alternative-what would you suggest if me and the OP aren't 'OK with it'?

I just struggled with waking up at 2am so worked really hard on sleep training to get him to sleep through the night.
I wouldn't be able to function if I had to get up in the night but my baby doesn't sleep much in the day so I wouldn't be able to rest then like some Mums do.

My soon to be 7 yr old is still a terrible sleeper and so is my 4 yr old. I've not had a full nights sleep since my 7 yr old was born.

And also Notsunkinyet I couldn't function either during the day when DS2 was tiny as my then 2yr old dropped her nap so I never caught up on sleep but i somehow managed. I don't believe in CIO so we had to manage. You just manage to cope and it's kit a question of being ok with it.

*not a

My little boy has only just started to roll over and sit on his own, where as other babies did this much earlier than him

4 months is crazy early to sit on his own. My LO is 4 months and can't even roll yet

Have not read the whole thread but bloody hell I'd be over the moon if my four month old slept like that! To be fair he was only waking up twice a night, but since 12 weeks he's been waking ever hour to two hours from midnight til 6am. Sleeps for 20 to 30 minutes during the day and feeds every two hours. The women at your NCT are clearly all either a.) liars b.) very lucky or c.) a bit weird. My first son was worse than this (he fed every 40 minutes at this age) so actually ds2 doesn't seem too bad. My advice is do not listen to anyone else. Your baby is an individual and isn't the same as anyone else's. If he needs to eat that much at night and it's not a problem for you it's really noone else's business or place to pass comment. You sound like you're doing a great job and your little boy sounds like a perfectly normal child to me.

My 4 month old goes down between 7 and 8 with a feed and we have a blissful evening of peace (usually) and then she wakes at (approx) 12:30 and 4 for feeds and then up for the day at 6-7. SOMETIMES she will skip the 12:30 feed but usually only if she has had a particularly busy day.

My lg is bottle fed from 9 weeks though and I think bottle fed babies often sleep longer/wake up less so perhaps the other mums have bottle fed babies from birth? My friend's bottle from birth baby 'slept through' from around 8 weeks.

Frequent waking also helps prevent SIDS too so think of it that way whenever it feels too much to take. (Easier said than done I know)!

4 months is practically newborn. They just want to reconnect as much as anything. Hell, my 4 YEAR old does at least once most nights, just comes and climbs into bed with us and goes back to sleep. In fact, the nigh on 6 yr old does too.

Meant to say the older child started sleeping through at about 18 months odd, at the same age she started going to sleep on her own. Younger child was a bit later, closer to 2 years.

My eldest didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 5 1/2
...years!
Son slept through from about 11:30 until 5:30 from about 6 weeks. The other two were mixed as far as I can remember.

It's not abnormal at all! And when babies are EBF they do wake to feed more often, well my daughter did and she loved the comfort of it too. In my experience, friends of mine whose babies sleep through are ALL on formula. Now I'm not for one second turning this into a formula vs BF debate - but I BF and we tried formula as a bedtime option and my daughter hated it. I was lucky I could BF for as long as I did, and she weaned herself off it!
I would say you've 100% got the right attitude towards this parenting lark.... after all we're all just winging it, aren't we?!

Interested to read this. My DS is 3.5 months, fairly sure his 4 month regression has arrived early (he has just learnt to roll over and is doing so in his sleep so probably explains it) he was napping like a dream during the day, falling asleep downstairs with us around 7/8, then feeding at 11pm, roughly 3/4am, and then 6/7. This was for the first three months of his life (breastfed), and I was doing fine with this (working full time as self employed, with him in tow, still finding energy somehow)
Then all of a sudden a week ago he has started being a total dick about napping during the day, and is waking up at 1,2,4,5,6 etc etc - the last two days I have reached the brink of tiredness I think! If he wasn't so ruddy gorgeous I think I would be in despair, I'm too tired to even cry!!
Your baby sounds totally normal.
Don't forget 'sleeping through the night' means completely different this to different people. For some it means just waking for feeds, for some it means solid 4-5 hours sleep 12-5am etc.

I have read up a fair bit on sleep training. A lot of different opinions but many suggest 4-6 months is the time to start. I have just started in the last few days making a concours effort with a regular bed time routine and so far the first half of the night is working around great, the second half total shit, but he is only still so little so am not too bothered (easy to say now, probably won't be so chirpy at 4am...)

Am currently on the chapter about night feeds in the Unmumsy mum book, and it provides much amusing 'thank god this is normal' comfort in this topic!

Completely normal, he's only 4 months!! My daughter is 21 months and I'd say she's slept thru about 2 nights!!!!! On another group I'm in they were talking bout sleeping thru n one girl said oh ya my baby sleeps all night - she only wakes twice for a feed!!!!!! Seriously!!!

It's a shame the nct groups been like this as it's nice to feel supported. But do what's best for your little one, I co sleep with my DS who will be 8mo on Tuesday he now sleeps from 8-8 but dream feeds a lot but before that he woke every 2-3 hours

Stars That's my experience too, as soon as DS went onto formula he was full and therefore slept all night. It allowed me to recover properly and saved my sanity so I have so much respect for mums who plough on with the regular feeds through the night.

I don't think it's abnormal but I do think it's also perfectly normal to sleep 12 hours solid at this age. Can't remember if we dream fed still at 11 ish at 4 months, it's too bloody long ago now, but ours were certainly doing 12 hours straight from around this age or not much older. We gave a feed at bedtime, and we didn't respond to every little whimper or every cry. They weren't in our room. At four months they definitely don't 'need' 3/4 feeds a night. We didn't ignore genuine distress but quickly learned to distinguish genuine distress or hunger from a habitual wakening or wanting a cuddle. Some people may choose to do that but We didn't, we value our sleep far too much and are better parents for it.

If you want to get more sleep, try your partner getting up instead - baby can smell your milk so may want to comfort feed rather than actually needing food. Try not getting up so quickly. Try ignoring the cries for a few minutes to encourage self settling. Try getting up but not feeding, not picking up but gently reassuring. All these things discourage anti social or habitual waking more than breast feeding to settle at every whimper when they don't actually need feeding (sickness, genuine hunger etc are different and I wouldn't ignore those things). Or don't try anything, but don't then moan about it or think others who do differently are lying!!

don't then moan about it or think others who do differently are lying!!

I didn't do either of these things

My complaint was not that other mums have babies who sleep through. Nor that my DS wakes at night. Night wakings were part of what I signed up for when I had a baby. My complaint was that the other NCT mums have told me my DS is a dreadful sleeper when IMO it's normal for a baby of his age to wake at night for feeds. I'm not saying it's abnormal to sleep through, or that you're lying, if you're lucky enough to have one that does.

I do think it's wrong that as a society we think a four month old waking 3/4 times a night has a problem that needs fixing. That was my point.

I think 3/4 wakes a night at 4 months would definitely be a problem for me that needed fixing. My newborns didn't need that much feeding. If I had a friend who was saying she was tired because of your circumstances, I would tell them that it could be 'fixed', if she wanted it 'fixing', but it would take some effort.

But it obviously isn't a problem for you, you clearly don't need much sleep!