WIBU to ask for an eternity ring?

[Itsaplayonwords]

My DH and I had talked about how an eternity ring is usually given at the birth of your first child, however I told him not to buy me one at that time as we had spent a lot of money on our wedding (DD1 was a honeymoon baby) and the money was better used for baby things than on jewellery. It's my 30th birthday at the end of the year and I'd really like an eternity ring. DH would be spending money on a present for me anyway and there's nothing else I really want, but it's not the sort of thing you usually ask for. I know as well that if I did ask and he'd already planned to get me one, or something similar, then he'd feel as though I'd spoilt the surprise.

Should I ask or not?

Dh bought mine for my 30th birthday. I had no hesitation in telling asking him for it.

Saving for uni is all very well but there will always be more 'sensible' things to spend money on - sometimes it is okay to be a bit frivolous and get something just for you.
My eternity ring makes me smile everytime I see it. Agree with pp that it is far too important and expensive a purchase to just leave to someone else to choose.

cabrhina actually traditionally it's given after the birth of a baby not when you decide to try for one but each to their own .

Definitely mention it to DH Op. Casually so that if he's thought of it already then he won't feel you've spoilt it. My DH bought mine as a surprise but I adore it. Keep us updated and post a photo if you get one please!

I have 2 eternity rings one for each child - didn't stop him leaving me for OW though
I still wear them on my right hand though - they are beautiful rings and remind me of the happiness when I had each child (who are now 23 and 24)

Does your DH generally ask what you'd like for your birthday? If so, problem solved.
Also I think it's something you should choose together as there are masses of different styles out there, unless you're very confident about his taste, or that he knows your taste well enough to be able to pick one you'd really like.
DH always asks what I would like as a present and if it's jewellery that I want I have to be quite specific, even steer him to the right shop as his taste and mine differ widely. (That's not say say I don't love what he has bought me off his own bat, but for something as important, and possibly as expensive, as an eternity ring i think i 'd like a little input. )
full circle of diamonds, please-

I told DH I didn't want any more diamonds. I got a shiny kitchenaid instead.

There's no set tradition with these rings simply because the eternity ring is a marketing gimic cooked up by de Beers in the 1960s to flog off smaller diamonds.

I asked fairly bluntly for one after DD was born. It's very pretty and worn ever day

My 30th is rapidly approaching, and my Amazon wishlist has lots of pretty sparkly things on it . That's my approach - I'm fussy but DH likes surprises so I fill up a wish list and he chooses stuff!

Can't have too much bling!

What is an Eternity Ring??

Call me a cynic, but "eternity rings" sound like something a jewellery brand came up with to boost sales...

My DH surprised me with mine after our second and last child was born. Her entry into the world was very difficult and I'd nearly died having my first child. He designed it to match my engagement ring and it's my favourite item of jewellery :) I think I love it all the more for being a total surprise and that he gave it me on a perfectly ordinary day not an anniversary or birthday. Instead I had PTSD and was sleep deprived and feeling fat and invisible. He told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world and presented me with a beautiful ring :)

Now OP why couldn't ypu post this a month ago? Just turned 30 ( 2 days ago!) And heavily pregnant with dc2 which will be the last. An eternity ring would have been a great suggestion but didn't even think of it...must now not suggest it after baby born...must not...

I asked for my eternity ring for a milestone birthday. We don't have children.

I used to be sceptical of women that would ask for an engagement ring for their birthday. Then I asked for an eternity ring for my birthday.

Lets just call it freedom of choice.

I don't understand the point of an eternity ring. What are they for if you already have a wedding ring? Surely the wedding ring is a symbol of eternal love?

How is this not Granby to use the mums net favourite phrase?

Expensive thing with no great purpose. And as demonstrated up thread no more binding for eternity than a wedding ring is.

I know it is all a matter of personal taste but I really don't get them. And rings are hard to give as a surprise, especially after childbirth when fingers are all wrongly sized.

I know bah humbug.

Grabby not Granby. Ffs I saying a sparky thing and can't even get it past autocorrect.

MrFMercury that's really lovely!

I have one and I just said to DH that I would love one and then over the next couple of years we vaguely looked until one at the right price and the right type came along. I love it, but I am a sucker for bling anyway. :)

Someone else I know asked for a horse. Each to her own!

As for 'expensive thing with no purpose' - sounds like a fun gift to me! The purpose is to give pleasure. :)

My wedding ring is an eternity ring, in case we didn't have children I wanted it straight away.

Just ask, he may be relieved there's something you really want.

Brilliant marketing ploy by jewellers over the last 30 years or so.

...talked about how an eternity ring is usually given at the birth of your first child

I never heard this. sounds like you really want an eternity ring and you are just looking for excuses. I'd probably just ask or buy one myself.

OP - I had a ring designed and made for my 30th with a gorgeous green aquamarine (outs self to anyone who knows me). Friends and family asked what I wanted and ended up contributing to the cost, which I then paid the rest of (it was a tad pricey cos I added a couple of diamonds to it...oops ).

I now wear it every day and l love the sentimental value it holds. When DS was born, DH wanted to get me an eternity ring but I've only got little hands and didn't like how an extra ring looked. My jeweller friend is now looking for an untreated grey sapphire (armed with a picture of DS eyes!) to turn into a pendant I can wear every day.

By all means ask, but maybe broaden it beyond your DH and don't just look at an eternity ring, but other jewellery too?
If it's what you really want, don't just leave pictures lying around the house but actually talk to him! By involving others it might take any financial pressure off if he's concerned. Just sat 'I've been thinking about my 30th and would love a ... to mark it, what do you think?' Simples!

One last thing - I always suggest speaking to an independent jeweller too - you can often get something custom made for you, exactly as you want, for a price that's comparable to the high street jewellers.

I work in a Jewellers. People buy eternity rings for all sorts of reasons, first anniversary, 10th anniversary, first child, big birthdays and occasionally just because they want to! 30th birthday sounds like a lovely time to been given one. I would ask for one and give him some hints of the kind you would like. Take a trip to some jewellers, try on some styles with your wedding and engagement rings and then he will find it less of a challenge getting you something.

Expensive thing with no great purpose.

Good lord - that describes a lot of gifts! I would be very dull if we only had useful things in our lives.

To paraphrase : do not have anything in your life that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.

No harm asking, but there is no 'tradition' for eternity rings.

TBH, I always think it's a bit odd when people make up a tradition to excuse asking their partners to spend money/make time for them. This is something you would like; you presumably have a fair idea of your family finances. Citing 'tradition' makes it sound as if 1) you think your DP won't spend money on you just for your own sake and 2) you think there are certain traditional gifts a man ought to be buying a woman.

The first one is worrying and the second smacks a bit much of the patriarchy for me.

You're equals: if you'd love a ring and want the romance of him choosing it, ask him.